Tuesday, January 30, 2007

The Marine Review

This was, by far.... the WORST movie I have ever seen in my life. For the fuck of life who wrote this shit?? Lets start off with the main problems....

Story: Retarded, John is dismissed from the Marines because, the men he was sent to save was endanger and he was told to wait for back up, but they were about to die so he saved them anyways and for that hes dismissed. And he then becomes a security guard and tells his friend that his hand to hand combat and all the training he got in the Marines does not leave many job opportunities in the real world..... uh, hey fucko, what about a POLICE OFFICER. Anyways, him and his wife go on a trip and shes kidnapped by the most annoying bad guys ever. Cliche bad guy bullshit.

Goofs: Where do I start? Well, John is indestructable... heres a EXACT list of what he gets hit in the HEAD and FACE with...

2 X 4
Fire Extinguisher
Beer Bottle
Lots Of Fists and Feet

and also, he is in 3 explosions. A gas station, a house, and a car.

My fav though is how he is in a cop car, without a windshield and HUNDREDS of bullets are fired at him, tearing the hood of the car apart, the dash board, the roof, but not him, at all, no where close.

The damage to his body? A small, tiny, red bruise that changes shapes sizes and what not on his cheek. Oh he gets a gash on his eyebrow that is gone in the next scene but later is back. Even his CLOTHES dont get damaged.

Of course theres the usual bullshit. The twists are predictable, the ending, everything.

For some stupid idiot reason, the trailer for Commando is included on this dvd....... uhhhhh.

John Cenas acting.... it was ok. Everything else? Made no sense, was not funny, and was all just stupid.

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