The New Supergirl

Introducing the newest addition to the Smallville cast, and even though I don't watch the show, I might have to start...

God does not exist... if he does... he hates you.

Where do I come up with this? Well last night I am watching Shark Week, one of the best damn times of the year. And a documentary / story about the U.S.S. Indianapolis was on. And people are dying big time from sharks, salt water, losing their minds, and all sorts of very bad things and I got to thinking....

If God does indeed exist, and he created earth and all that is and all that happy horse shit. Then why would he put us, humans, the things he "apparently" cherishes and loves most, on a planet that is 70% full of something that will easily kill you in many different ways??

I mean the ocean is made up of salt water! The whole fucking ocean! And there is a lot of ocean out there. Now if you drink this salt water, you are screwed, big time. And if you are lost at sea, and you have no fresh water, and nothing but sea water, why would God do that to you?

On top of that, there is this shit!!!!
Now not only has God created something that takes up 70% of the earth in which we live, he decides to fill it full of these kind of creatures that just love to eat us!! What the hell kind of shit is that?!?

Anyways, in my opinion, if God really did exist and love us humans oh so much, he would have made the Ocean out of fresh, yummy, spring water that is salt free and easy to drink, and had happy Dolphins all over it, instead of giant fish that have thousands of teeth that rip body parts off.

Silly God. You're fired.

This is my new God. He would have never created such an insane planet to live on. Thanks for nothing God!

Iron Man Footage from San Diego Comic Con!

Title says it all. Watch quick, doubt this will be up for long......

San Diego Comic Con 07 Updates

Below are bits, pieces, and goodies all over the place from what has been seen and witnessed at the con this year......

Today DreamWorks revealed the official teaser poster for Tim Burton's Sweeney Todd, which hits theaters December 21. Stephen Sondheim musical thriller revolves around Benjamin Barker alias Sweeney Todd, (Depp) who returns to London after being deported to find out what happened to his wife and child at the hands of Judge Turpin. When he learns of their terrible fate he joins fortunes with Mrs. Nellie Lovett, the baker downstairs from his barbershop, and sets out to seek revenge.


Spooky Thoughts about the Lionsgate Panel
By SpookyDan

Saw IV

Hey Guys, I just want to update you all about the next wave of Lionsgate films that were presented today at the San Diego Comic Con. Saw IV hits theaters this fall and you have to live under a rock to not know all about this franchise. Director Darren Bousman, Jigsaw himself, Tobin Bell, and Producer Mark Burg premiered a clip to the excited audience. The clip was exactly what the horror fans wanted! Set inside a mortuary, two men are chained to a mechanical device in the center of the room, each one has been slightly disabled, one with his eyes, and the other with his mouth SEWN SHUT! Trapped metal collar they must quickly figure out how to get the hell out of the situation. The crowd responded with huge applause at this bloody clip, and Bousman dropped a few hints about the film, saying that the script that Patrick Dunstan and Markus Melton completely took him by surprise and blew him away. For a man who killed off all the characters so meticulously, so as not to bring them back, the writers figured out such a clever device that it even convinced the man who killed them all off. That said, he promised that it will not be a silly evil twin brother, or typical movie convention, but that “the last 5 minutes of the film will really deliver.”

They also told the audience that they originally wanted to premiere the first 5 minutes of the film, and the fine folks at Comic-Con told them a very definite “NO, way to extreme.” This defiantly didn’t bode well with the audience, but the clip was very bloody, and a curious fan asked what the Rating was. Not surprisingly the (more and more despicable) MPAA gave it a NC-17 and Bousman told us that they were used to this happening, as they HAVE TO deliver an R rated film to get proper distribution. I really hate the MPAA, as it has been a touchy topic for many films lately. Those F@ckrs!

Midnight Meat Train

This was the most bizarre, and wonderfully entertaining panel of the Liongate set. I have a number of complaints and first and foremost was the moderator they got. Some jackass from Fox News who had the wonderful insight to insult the crowd on a couple of occasions, and then insult the guests, as he ridiculed a very strangely behaved, yet very funny Clive Barker. Clive told us how impressed he is with this film, and that it is ”THE BEST ADAPTATION of one of my short stories that has been made.” The director and cast were on hand to explain their parts in the films and rib Clive about trying to make a film that is better than Candyman or Hellraiser. Leslie Bibb, kind of stole the show with her talks of Clives’ artwork (featured in the film) explaining that they were paintings of dudes with giants “members”. Midnight Meat Train is poised to be the first of a number of films based on the Books of Blood that he has written. The second in the series will be Pig Blood Blues directed by Anthony DiBlassi, under the Midnight Picture Show banner.

The rest of the panel was used to showcase the upcoming Good Luck Chuck, and 3:10 to Yuma, with some celebs like Peter Fonda, Ben Foster , Dane Cook and of course Jessica Alba, to promote their respective films. Non horror…not on this site.

Side note… Whoever decided that a Fox News douchebag (whose name I don’t know) was the right guy to moderate a filmmaker panel should be FIRED. Maybe next year they can hire Kathy Griffin to insult the audience and panel at least it MIGHT be a little funny.

HATCHET

At this week's San Diego Comic Con Bloody-Disgusting caught up with writer-director Adam Green to talk a little bit about his first feature film, HATCHET, which begins it's theatrical run September 7. What can fans expect to see when the lights dim and the movie starts? "Fans can expect a return to the stuff we grew up on. In the 70's and 80's horror had villains, monsters, nudity, gore, and most of all FUN," Green tells B-D.

Speaking of gore, Green tells us that HATCHET is going to let the red flow," It's gory to the point of being over the top," he explains, "When limbs fly off- the blood shoots 20 feet in the air. Victor Crowley literally tears people to shreds with his bare hands in some scenes. There are deaths in this film that will have audiences cheering and applauding this is John Carl Buechler at his absolute finest hour."

HATCHET has already gained such massive popularity without even having been released, so much so that a sequel is already being planned, "The first film, being an independent movie, has already made money just off of the domestic and foreign acquisitions... so the people who made the first one are ready to start moving on a sequel." But in the end it all depends on the fans, "The storyline is set and ready to go... you guys just have to say when!"

GO SEE HATCHET IN THEATERS SEPTEMBER 7 or else.

Congress Wants WWE Drug Test Documents!!!

WWE Chairman Vince McMahon has been asked by Congress to provide records detailing World Wrestling Entertainment’s drug testing policies in a three page letter dated today.

According to a published report by ESPN.com, Rep. Henry Waxman, the chairman of the House Committee on Oversight and Government Reform, and Tom Davis, its ranking minority member, asked McMahon in the letter to “provide a series of documents intended to give the committee and its investigation a detailed look at WWE's drug-testing policy, including information about the results of performance-enhancing drug tests on pro wrestlers.”

Below are some excerpts of the letter that was sent to Vince McMahon:

"The tragic deaths of World Wrestling Entertainment star Chris Benoit and his family have raised questions about reports of widespread use of steroids and other performance-enhancing drugs by professional wrestlers,"

"These allegations -- which include first-hand reports of steroid use by prominent former wrestlers -- have swirled around the WWE for over a decade. Investigations by journalists have described a culture of performance-enhancing drug use in professional wrestling, high fatality rates among young professional wrestlers, and an inability or unwillingness of WWE to address these problems."

"WWE has a responsibility to do everything possible to eliminate the use of performance-enhancing drugs -- or the perception of such use -- by its wrestlers."

The requests in the letter are very similar to what Major League Baseball was asked to provide according to ESPN.com. Requests in the letter include:

- A list of drugs covered by WWE polices
- The entity that conducts WWE’s drugs tests and how many tests they conduct annually.
- The protocols followed by WWE following a positive test as well as their procedures on exemptions to a positive test.
- In addition to the number of tests that WWE does annually, the letter requested information on the number of wrestlers that were tested during that time period

According to ESPN.com, WWE has also been asked to provide "the results of any investigations prepared [by the company] regarding the deaths, injuries, or illnesses of current or former professional wrestlers that may have been related to the use of steroids." and "all communications between [the company] and outside entities including communications with health care professionals or law enforcement authorities, regarding allegations of drug use by wrestlers."

I give you......The Joker! And The Dark Knight Teaser!

So all the fan fuck boys goin ape shit over shitty far away fuzy pics can now ograsm on their hands...... Here is the first official clear as day still from The Dark Knight featuring, The Joker getting ready to slice poor Maggies neck wide open.

As for the teaser trailer, well its out there in the world, only problem is its kind of a bitch to get too since everyone on the planet is invading it, so if you wanna give it a shot, you may find the teaser

Right Here!

Oh and if its a bitch to get to the site from there, right click, save as, enjoy. Or go HERE. And see that weird little box on the right thats flashin and shit next to the word HANDED? Click it.


Wanna see this pic bigger? Then click to enlarge!

Punch Out! The Movie!

Well this looks like it could be the first movie based on a video game that sticks true to the video game with a few surprises..... if only it was real. But to me, and to Nintendo fans.... it's real enough.

Watch the greatness right here.

Exclusive: "Cloverfield" Poster, Straight from Comic-Con!

Here's a first look at the poster for the still untitled "Cloverfield" project, straight from San Diego's Comic-Con!

The untitled Cloverfield project remains untitled.

Fans were hoping that director J.J. Abrams would release the name of the film that has created so much stir with its trailer, a grainy coming attraction that looks like The Blair Witch Project meets Godzilla on Independence Day. No one is even sure how it become the Cloverfield project.

Abrams wasn't saying much about the picture, which he is producing, though he did offer, "I had taken my son to Japan, and there were all these Godzilla dolls everywhere. I decided we needed our own monster. We're not showing any footage, but we're almost done shooting, and I think you'll love it. We aren't revealing a title today."

The Dark Knight Teaser

In probably the shittiest quality video you could ever possibly imagine. Watch it before its gone I promise this won't be up very long but seriously, even if it is gone we got one more day to wait before the real version is put up online.

UPDATE: Warner Brothers strikes. They took the teaser off the net.... Fear not, as soon as the real one goes up tomorrow I assume in quicktime clear format, it will be posted here. Stay tuned.

Beware - MONSTER SQUAD HAS ARRIVED ON DVD!

The two-disc anniversary edition of The Monster Squad, a cult favorite that hasn't been available until now. At least, it's supposed to be available ...

People have been looking for it unsuccessfully, as it's flying off shelves of store after store as fast as they are put out.

Originally released in 1987, the comedy/horror flick is a must-see for Goonies, monster-movie and '80s enthusiasts. The DVD set includes commentary, deleted scenes, a documentary and more.

And, as soon as I can get my hands on a copy (even Netflix has it as a "very long wait") I'll get up an in-depth DVD report! For those of you wanting to purchase a copy now, you can purchase the 2 disc 20th anniversary edition HERE.

Finally! A release date for Southland Tales.

I know I've been waiting for this, for going on damn near 3 years!

Samuel Goldwyn Films has announced a Nov. 9 U.S. release date for Richard Kelly's SF epic movie Southland Tales, according to a report on IndieWIRE.

The company is releasing the movie in partnership with Destination Films and Sony Pictures Worldwide Acquisitions Group.

Southland Tales debuted at last year's Cannes Film Festival to disastrous reviews and has since been reworked and completed by Kelly.

It stars Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson, Sarah Michelle Gellar, Seann William Scott, Justin Timberlake, Mandy Moore, Cheri Oteri, Kevin Smith and Amy Poehler, among others, with original music by Moby, a music sequence by Timberlake and a soundtrack that includes The Killers, The Pixies, Muse, Black Rebel Motorcycle Club, Radiohead and Jane's Addiction.

Set a year from now in Los Angeles, the film is described as, "an epic story that takes place over the course of three days, culminating in a massive 4th of July celebration."

"The time and additional visual effects that were added have allowed me to achieve my original vision for Southland Tales," Kelly said in a statement. "The fans' response has been overwhelming, and I anticipate that moviegoers will respond enthusiastically."

The filmmaker will discuss the movie at Comic-Con International in San Diego on July 27.

And I say it's about damn time. 3 years ago I was looking at the cool viral campaign he had out to go with the movie, all these awesome websites and stuff. It's nice to see the movie is finally coming out, and I hope it's as good as Donnie Darko, or hell, even half as good.

The Iron Sheik Freaks Out Again: The Ontario Incident

After noticing that my post on the Iron Sheik vs. Ultimate Warrior showdown at a sports convention a few months back has gotten quite a bit of attention from readers, I've to post the latest in the on going Sheik saga, which features the former WWE champion himself, this time showing up to an indy show in Ontario, refusing to enter the building, allegedly wanting everything from his money, to beer, to cocaine. Who knows whats true, but hey, these guys decided to record themselves harassing the Sheik, which leads to a truly, um, awkward/weird/crazy situation that goes on for a good 8 minutes. For all you Sheik fans, if this kind of stuff continues, Ultra Entertainment may have to keep up to date with all the latest from every ones favorite former WWE Champ, the Iron Sheik. Enjoy!

This Week's New Releases

Here are the titles that arrived in stores today
- Zodiac.
- The Number 23.
- Weeds: Season Two.
- Renaissance.
- Live Free or Die.
- Philip Marlowe, Private Eye: Season 1.
- Benson: The Complete First Season.
- The Contract. - The Host.
- Crazy Legs Conti: The Art of Competitive Eating.
- Perfume: The Story of a Murderer.

Also: A Bit of Fry & Laurie: Seasons 3 and 4, Harvey Birdman, Attorney At Law Volume 3, Slow Burn

Who Will Die First? Spears Lohan Death Watch 07

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

Esai Morales Comes Clean

Normally, we don't post this kinda stuff. But this is BOB! And Bob is a fucking hero to us here at UE. So on with the story from Bob himself and tmz.com

Former "NYPD Blue" star Esai Morales has written an open letter to his fans on his MySpace page in response to a lawsuit filed by his former live-in girlfriend, who claims he sexually assaulted her and gave her herpes:


To My Fans,

As you may have already heard, I have been put in a very frustrating situation by some hurtful accusations that were leveled against me in a recent lawsuit. But, because of the nature of the litigious society we live in, my very competent legal counsel is advising me not to comment at this time.

Yet, I need to assure you personally that the charges that have been leveled against me are absolutely false and without merit and I am prepared to vigorously defend myself and my reputation.

You know me. You've known me for nearly three decades. And you know in your hearts that these claims are baseless. This is not the way I live my life and I am incapable of committing these kinds of acts.

I am proud of my humanity, my activism and my respect for fellow human beings. I will continue to be optimistic and I will not let a personal attack deter me from the bigger picture.

I am grateful and humbled by your prayers, well wishes and expressions of trust and support at this time and look forward to the day when the truth will prevail.
Peace,

Esai Morales

So there you have it, whoever it is that is making these claims better watch the fuck out, before Esai goes and gets Mexican Ed to come after them and whoop some ass.

For Love Of Wrestling: A Fan No More

I was maybe 5 years old, flipping through channels on a Saturday morning, the mornings that I lived for. Great cartoons, great cereal, great times. And I happened upon wrestling, Tugboat was wrestling a "jobber" I remember the day clearly. I put it on, my Mom refused to watch it telling me if I was going to watch it, then to go in the other room. So I did. And I was hooked. Most kids in schools were all about people like Hulk Hogan, Ultimate Warrior, and Andre The Giant. My favorites were The Million Dollar Man, Mr. Perfect, and Ravishing Rick Rude. They entertained me the most.

The day finally came that sent me over the top in my love for wrestling, my Dad had gotten us tickets to an event. It was leading into Summerslam and I got to meet The Texas Tornado, got to see Dibiase and Perfect wrestle live. Hogan fought Slaughter. And They also tapped some matches for Superstars. I remember my Dad buying me everything I wanted from the merchandise stand. I got my foam LOD shoulder pads, a foam title belt. A Hogan finger. and a T Shirt with some superstars on it. Michaels and Jannety split up so I took my marker and drew a line between the two on my shirt. I was a kid obsessed.

One day at recess I got into a fight, the kid threw me to the ground and kicked me, I instantly jumped back up, shot up a finger and pointed at him, my eyes wide, doing my best Hogan impression. Waved my finger back and forth and then socked the kid in the nose. Wrestling helped me win many a school yard fights. A knee drop onto a kid from the top of the slide got me detention for a week. Flipping my school bus driver the bird Stone Cold style got me kicked off of riding the bus. Every job I applied for, hours available, any hours except Monday nights. Working at Blockbuster once they actually put me down for working a Monday night, so I quit. Nothing in this world got between me and my wrestling. I never missed a show when it came to town.

John Cena. A name that will stay with me forever, the guy that made me quit watching. Bobby Lashley another name that made me quit watching. But the biggest name of them all, Vince McMahon. All of my favorite wrestlers quit, retired, or were released. And if they werent, then they were just reduced to midcarders and would stay there forever (Matt Hardy). The writing on the shows got horrible, the wrestling got stupid, and everything was so predictable and eye rolling that I just could not take it anymore, and gave up. In the past 4 months, I have only watched 1 full episode of Raw, the episode of Vince blowing himself up in a limo, some saw it as great, I saw it as stupid. ECW coming back was an awesome thing for 2 weeks, then it got stupid and was worse to watch than Heat and Velocity. Smackdown was just a giant piece of crap but I had actually gained interest in it since Edge was champ. Edge was always a favorite of mine. And now, Khali? Give me a break. John Cena on Raw is apparently the greatest wrestler of all time since no one can beat him, not HBK, not Orton, not HHH, no body. So whats the point in watching? None. Because of things like that, I have given up, I can say with a heavy heart that I am no longer a wrestling fan. I read wrestling news every now and then, and will read some of the results of the shows. But other than that, wrestling is dead to me. Thank you Cena, thank you Vince. You have turned away a life long hardcore wrestling fan. Will I ever watch wrestling again? Maybe, but it would take a lot to do so.

Guess what? Suns Spurs Game 3 FIXED.

In the news lately it has been announced that an NBA Ref had been betting on games, and fixing them in his own favor to win. Well it was just announced that he had worked on Game 3 of the Suns vs Spurs. I remember sitting on my couch being more pissed off than ever at a game, watching TERRIBLE calls, throwing shit and even broke my coffee table. The Suns had totally killed the Spurs in game 2, but somehow in Game 3 they just could not catch a break. Made no sense to me. The Suns had beat them by 20 points Game 2, but Game 3, just could not get a call their way. I did not get it at all. Well NOW I get it. Now it makes sense. Because of this fucking asshole right here. Who better pray to god I never meet. The news story is below.....

There aren't many dark days in the Valley of the Sun in mid-summer, but Friday must have been pretty gloomy.

Just when Phoenix Suns fans were moving through the acceptance phase of their grief over last year's unjust playoff exit comes another knee to the groin.
As if the playoff suspensions of Amare Stoudemire and Boris Diaw (in exchange for instigator Robery Horry) hadn't been a big enough miscarriage of justice, now comes news that NBA referee Tim Donaghy is under FBI investigation for betting on basketball. There are even allegations of mob ties.

While those charges have yet to be proven, there is very little debate among the basketball cognoscenti as to what was the most dubiously officiated game in this spring's playoffs. It was Game 3 of the Suns-Spurs Western Conference semifinals on May 12.

It was a bewildering carnival of bad calls, bad non-calls and egregiously late calls.

Who did that game? Eddie F. Rush, Greg Willard and Tim Donaghy.

The Suns' gut-wrenching six-game loss to the Spurs had already plunged their fans into the grief cycle, only then it was due largely to David Stern's failure to insert a measure of mitigating sanity to his zero-tolerance bench-leaving policy.

The pain played out like this:

Denial — This can't be happening. Robert Horry didn't just hip-check Steve Nash into the scorer's table with the result being the suspensions of our only low-post scorer and best low-post passer. This cannot be happening.

Anger — We hate you, David Stern! We'd like to see Charles Barkley throw you through a plate glass window at Dan Majerle's bar!

Bargaining — Please, please, let us squeak out Game 5. Let the series go seven games. We'll forget all about the unjust suspensions.

Depression — We lost. We're doomed. It's over. Our window of opportunity is closing. Nash is 33. That was our shot.

Acceptance — We're down, but not out. We just signed Grant Hill. Stoudemire will be another year away from microfracture surgery. Leandro Barbosa is getting better by the minute.
And then whammo! It looks like the NBA has a dirty ref and he called a pivotal playoff game that the Suns lost. So, for beleaguered Suns fans, the stages of grieving begin anew.


Denial — There is simply no way an official in a major American sport would do this. This isn't Italian soccer, dammit.

Anger — Was Game 3 the game when Bruce Bowen essentially assaulted Nash from start to finish? Was Bowen really whistled for only two fouls? Did Nash really shoot only three free throws? Was that the game where the Suns were in the midst of a run-out when they were interrupted by a foul call so late it just had to be an inadvertent whistle?

Bargaining — Okay. Please, Federal Bureau of Investigation, just tell us Donaghy hadn't bet on that game. Please just tell us that a pile of mob money didn't come down on the Spurs in Game 3.

Depression — Ah, what's the difference? It's not like Stern is going to give us a do-over.

Acceptance — Probably never.
First, Game 3 will have to be put under a microscope. Hard to believe it will look any better under a jeweler's loupe than it did on TV.

Off the top of my head, the worst non-call — after Bowen forced a turnover by chopping down on Nash's off hand as the point guard was crossing over — came right in front of Rush, not Donaghy.

One other critical officiating error was a whistle on a clean block by Stoudemire, who played only 21 minutes due to foul trouble.

And then there was the whistle delivered from Shangri-La. The Suns had forced a miss, secured the ball and were pushing it up court when a foul was called, retroactive to the shot attempt. If it turns out that Donaghy made this particular call — after having a couple of seconds to think about it — it will look very bad.

The Spurs were favored by four in Game 3 and won by seven, 108-101. They shot nine more free throws than the Suns, a perfectly reasonable gap between an interior-scoring team and a jump-shooting team. While the risk of fixing a playoff game is increased by the closer scrutiny of the game, it is easier to place large bets without setting off red flags because there's much more money being wagered on a playoff game than a regular season game.

If Donaghy is convicted of fixing any games over the last two seasons — during which the FBI was monitoring his games — how will Stern, who must have precious little credibility in Phoenix, ever convince Suns fans that they weren't the victims of a fix? I mean, besides the one he himself sanctioned after Game 4. (And if it turns out Donaghy did conspire to fix Game 3, how happy will Suns fans be with the FBI for allowing their team to be an unwitting victim in a two-year-old sting operation?)

For years Stern has been dismissing the cries of conspiracy theorists and fining anyone who dared open his mouth about the officiating. He even went so far as to threaten to throw Jeff Van Gundy out of the league.

If during a criminal court proceeding it comes to light that Donaghy was influencing the outcome of games, is Stern prepared to return any fine money levied against a player, coach or owner who criticized what turned out to be crooked officiating?

Former Orlando Magic coach Brian Hill was fined $25,000 after complaining bitterly about the officiating in a game Donaghy did on March 6, 2006.

Stern could conceivably return that fine money if it turns out Donaghy was in the bag. But what if evidence emerges that Donaghy had money on the Spurs in Game 3?

If that's the case, Stern's refusal to adjudicate the Horry-Stoudemire-Diaw non-fight fairly will have compounded a criminal act. How could he ever make things right in Phoenix?

He might start by awarding Phoenix, one of the finalists, the 2009 All-Star Game. But would he dare show up?

Suns fans may still be grieving.

Trick 'r Treat Trailer

With never even seeing the trailer. I put this movie at #2 on my Most Anticipated Of The Year. After watching the trailer. I can see why, horror movies have been pure shit lately, Hostel 2, and every PG-13 "Horror" movie that has been comin out have really been letting me down. But stuff like Behind The Mask: The Rise Of Leslie Vernon and now this, have my hopes up that at least a few people in the world are making good horror.

Take a peek at the trailer here.

The New Legend Of Zelda Game....

I have been a huge Zelda fan. Ever since I first got that golden cartridge for my NES. All the way up to spending 40+ hours beating Twilight Princess. Well here is a look at the follow up. Honestly I do not know what I think, or what to say about this. I guess we will just have to wait and see but my immediate reaction? I don't like it.....

My New Favorite Show, Friday: the Animated Series!?

OK, i felt compelled to write a blog about a T.V. show i stumbled across last night that took me by surprise. After all, how could I not know that one of my favorite all time movies had an animated series coming out? Well, I'm not sure how or why I didn't know, but as soon as i saw that Friday was on MTV last night, followed my Friday: the Animated Series, I had to check it out, and I was pleasantly surprised! See, when I heard that Friday had a sequel coming out called Next Friday, I thought AWESOME, can't beat an all time favorite coming out with a sequel. Well, when it came out, it fell victim to a problem many sequels do, which was keeping about 3 of the original characters, 2 of which were in the movie for a few minutes at best. So Craig remained the main character, but was surrounded by goofy overdone characters, and forced comedy (in my opinion). THEN we hear Friday After Next was coming out. HEY maybe a Smokie return? A return to Craigs original house? NOPE. We get Craigs mom returning, and his dad once again, and even a couple of characters from the last movie, but eh, more forced comedy, trying too hard to be funny, overdone, etc. etc. The 2 sequels were nothing like the original, the natural humor and great characters just weren't there.

So now, I turn on this new animated show, and WOW, what do I see? The characters! Craig, Smokey, Craigs parents and sister, Debo, Debbie, Stanley, almost ALL of them. This show scored right away with me in the character department. Then, we kick things off on Craigs porch! The legendary spot that had me wanting to grow up and chill on my front porch all day watchin all the happenings of the neighborhood. The stories here also have the Friday feel to them, stuff you'd see in the original movie, with some current events thrown in to keep things current. I almost felt like i was watching a mixture of Friday with a black Beavis and Butthead. The voice actors attempt to pull off the same voices from the characters in the movie, and they met my standard, didn't do a bad job at all. The humor is done well, although of course smoking weed and F-bombs can't be allowed being its on MTV, I'll gladly trade those in exchange for the show sticking with the original Friday story as it is. Overall, this show grabbed me and kept me interested, especially since I'm a huge fan of the first movie but not the sequels. Maybe being that Ice Cube is an executive producer on this one, he was able to do things right, using all the characters this time without having to worry about huge money demands etc.

I'm really hoping this show is a permanent thing, i caught it very late at night, and had'nt heard one word about it until i saw it on the guide, but hopefully it catches on, as it could really do something I think and outdo a lot of the animated crap comedy that's out there today. You can judge for yourselves, as I've provided video below, but for some reason, my attention was grabbed, and this show is def. on my list of favorites. I give this one 2 thumbs WAY up, and you KNOW this.....MAN!

We Miss You: Tom Hanks

I have always been a big Tom Hanks fan. But lets face it, the man is lost. Where did he go I will never know. What am I talking about exactly? It's called Oscar. See Tom Hanks used to make awesome comedies, lets do the list shall we...

All started off with Bosom Buddies
then we got...
Splash
My personal favorite, Bachelor Party
Volunteers
The Money Pit
Nothing in Common
Dragnet
Big
Of course the CLASSIC film, The 'burbs
Joe Versus the Volcano

then all of a sudden... this movie came along, The Bonfire of the Vanities

And since then, he has turned his back on comedies. Sure he still makes "cute movies" like a favorite of mine, Toy Story. But lets face it, the raunchy funny as hell slapstick Tom Hanks is gone. See all was well, He was makin A League of Their Own and Sleepless in Seattle which dont even get me started on that film, well I already did get started on it which you can read all about right here! But there was always that hint of comedy greatness he once had in those film.

But then, Philadelphia came along. And he won an Oscar. And since then, he is a complete and totally different person. Not the same Hanks we once knew and love. I mean sure, he still makes great movies, Saving Private Ryan, Road to Perdition, The Green Mile, Forrest Gump, but seriously, watch those movies, then throw in Bachelor Party and see, not the same Tom at all.

We miss you Mr. Hanks, we miss you dearly and the comedy world needs you back. Please make at least one, more great comedy. Even a Burbs 2 would do. Something, anything. We love your films, but have a deep devotion to your comedy. Come back Tom.

The 2007 Emmy Nominations are in!

Kyra Sedgwick and Jon Cryer were on hand this morning to announce the nominations, and they were as follows:

Best Drama:
Heroes, House, Boston Legal, Grey's Anatomy, & The Sopranos.

My Pick for the win: The Sopranos. The final season was just TOO good to pass up.

Lead Actor, Drama:
James Gandolfini, Denis Leary, James Spader, Kiefer Sutherland, & Hugh Laurie

My Pick for the win: James Gandolfini. His final turn as Tony Soprano was definitely award winning.

Lead Actress, Drama:
Minnie Driver, Edie Falco, Sally Field, Kyra Sedgwick, Mariska Hargitay, Patricia Arquette

My Pick for the win: Kyra Sedgwick. Her show, The Closer, has brought the highest ratings to USA ever, and she's great in the role.

Best Reality Show: Amazing Race, American Idol, Dancing with the Stars, Project Runway, Top Chef.

My Pick for the win: Dancing with the Stars. Amazing race always wins, but I think this year Dancing got the ratings.

Lead Actor, Comedy: Alec Baldwin, Steve Carell, Ricky Gervais, Tony Shalhoub, Charlie Sheen

My Pick for the win: Alec Baldwin. 'Nuff said.

Lead Actress, Comedy: America Ferrera, Tina Fey, Felicity Huffman, Julia Louis-Dreyfus, Mary Louise Parker.

My Pick for the win: America Ferrera. She won the Golden Globe!

Best Comedy: Entourage, The Office, 30 Rock, Two and a Half Men, Ugly Betty

My Pick for the win: 30 Rock. The critics love this show, and I have to admit from what I've seen, it's the funniest of the noms.

Drama, Best Supporting Actress:
Rachel Griffiths, Sandra Oh, Chandra Wilson, Katherine Heigl, Aida Tuturro, Lorraine Bracco

My Pick for the win: Sandra Oh

Comedy, Best Supporting Actress:
Jaime Pressly, Jenna Fischer, Conchata Ferrell, Holland Taylor, Vanessa Williams, Elizabeth Perkins

My Pick for the win: Elizabeth Perkins

Drama, Best Supporting Actor:
William Shatner, T.R. Knight, Masi Oka, Terry O'Quinn, Michael Emerson, Michael Imperioli

My Pick for the win: William Shatner

Comedy, Best Supporting Actor:
Kevin Dillon, Jeremy Piven, Neil Patrick Harris, Rainn Wilson, Jon Cryer

My Pick for the win: Jeremy Piven

So there you have it, the upfront nominations, and my picks. I'll be back in September to see how well I scored!

Big Brother Fans Unite!

One of our recent blogs on all the recent great Showtime shows has brought us some new visitors who we'd also like to know about our Big Brother Coverage over at Big Brother Fans Unite! With the madness of the CBS Show, Live Feeds, and of course Showtimes Big Brother After Dark going on, we're following the ultra popular reality show and posting daily updates on all the goings on, including Head of Household, Power of Veto, and of course nominations being updated regularly. We also throw our famous (or almost) spin on things as we give our uncensored opinions, thoughts, and predictions about everything, and we mean EVERYthing going on in the Big Brother House. So Big Brother fans, please join us at Big Brother Fans Unite!

Premium Channel Shows: Past and Present

When I was kid, the only shows you ever saw on HBO were either on in the early morning, or late late at night. In the morning, it was not uncommon to wake up and watch Babar or Fraggle Rock or even Pippy Longstocking. And over the years, I can remember my parents forbidding us from watching things like Tales from the Crypt, and The Larry Sanders Show. And as HBO evolved, and became more and more mainstream, the shows got better. As the shows got better, other channels like Showtime, hopped on the bandwagon, and before you knew it, we had all these great shows, winning all the Emmy's year after year.

When The Sopranos took off, we didn't have HBO, and even if we did I probably wouldn't have been allowed to watch it. Fortunately, the show took so long to play out, that I had time to tack on a couple more years, and get caught up via DVD and OnDemand. But year after year, these shows would sweep the emmys, and you'd see all the hard working network stars getting snubbed left and right. It was a simple solution for HBO and Showtime studios. They were offering hour long, commercial free, shows - with all the grit, language, and sexiness that the network shows couldn't and wouldn't allow. No way were you going to see girls like the ones on Sex and the City on CBS. There was no precedence for talk of fellatio and promiscuity. You just couldn't get away with it on network television, where corporate sponsorship reigns supreme. You just couldn't.

So HBO and Showtime hit the jackpot. Here they are, offering the shows EVERYONE wants to see, and for people to watch them, they have to PAY. Who needs corporate sponsorship, when you can have paying customers? Ka-Ching, Ka-Ching.

As the notoriety grew, and the numbers rose, the shows got better and better. Instantly, HBO had the highest watched shows in the country with The Sopranos, Six Feet Under, and Sex and the City.

Over the years, those groundbreaking shows came to massively climactic ends, each one setting a new record for numbers of people watching. And in their wake, the new era of premium channels was born. Following in the footsteps of the Sopranos, but not necessarily in the same forumla, is the show Brotherhood. Centering around the relationship between two brothers in Providence, one an up and coming politician, the other, an up and coming mobster, Brotherhood gives a gritty and dark look at life in the Northeast, where most people assume everything is bright and beautiful.

The show stars Jason Issac, who has been a favorite actor of mine since his role in The Patriot, portrays Michael Caffee, the hard-edged older brother, who returns to his Providence neighborhood to reconcile with his estranged family and reclaim his title as underworld kingpin of Providence. Playing the role of his brother is, Jason Clarke, who plays Tommy Caffee, an ambitious local politician navigating the treacherous worlds of Rhode Island politics and organized crime. His determined plans to provide the best for his family, as well as for his decaying blue-collar neighborhood, become more complicated when Michael returns home after a seven-year exile.

On the flipside of Brotherhood, comes the show Dexter, starring Michael C. Hall, who you may remember from Six Feet Under. This time, rather than playing a mortician, Michael plays Dexter, a serial murderer with a bit of a vigilante twist. The show has an amazing supporting cast, including the multi faceted James Remar, and the beautiful Julie Benz.

Hall, who played a meek gay funeral home manager in Six Feet Under, is amazingly evil and charming at the same time as Dexter. Dexter, who lives by a series of rules and principles, only kills those who "need" to die. The first season saw him going back and forth with a second serial killer, and I'm sure the upcoming second season will only be better.

Alongside Dexter, the hit show Weeds returns to Showtime, coupling alongside the newcomer Californication, starring David Duchovny. Both of these shows follow in the footsteps of shows like Sex and the City, and even Entourage, with their hip and witty comedic performances, coupled with the usual sex, drugs, and again sex of these types of shows. Going in to this new season, it seems, to me anyways, that Showtime has the leg up on HBO. Big Love is going great right now, but John From Cincinnati, Flight of the Concords, and even this season of Entourage just aren't cutting it. Whereas Showtimes has Dexter and Weeds returning, Brotherhood coming back soon, Meadowlands (which I really love), Californication(which looks like it's gonna be great) and The Tudors.

I'm really surprised to not see this kind of programming popping up on Starz or Cinemax. Cinemax especially, seeing as how it's now owned by HBO. It would be a great chance for them to air shows they might not necessarily have space for on the main channel.

Either way, paying for them or not, premium channel shows are only getting better and better, and they're certainly worth the extra 15 bucks a month on my cable bill.

My Triumphant Return.

To mark my return to Ultra Entertainment, I thought I'd embark on a series of rants, aptly named Plagues on America...

PLAGUES ON AMERICA: PART ONE.

In life, there are few things more annoying than calling a customer service line, only to be greeted by someone who can barely speak clear English. For whatever reason you're calling, you've obviously had something go amiss with a purchase, or you've had a bad experience, and to call these lines to only be met by someone who won't A. understand your humor, B. understand sarcasm, C. understand any slang, can make for a very long and annoying call. Furthermore, in some instances, you can't even get through to a person, and you get stuck to talking to someone via a live chat, who go figure, is also not American....

I rest my case.

Review: Transformers

HO, LY, FUCK, ING, SHIT.

I have not felt, the way I felt watching that movie, since I was about 10 years old. When it was first announced that Michael Bay would be making a Transformers movie. I was crushed. I fuckin LOVED my Transformers when I was a kid. Transformers, He Man, Voltron, and Thundercats were fucking IT for me. But then along with Bay helming, I heard news that another man would be very deeply involved with the making of it... Spielberg. Thank god. I rested easy, and prepared.

Then came the first teaser for it, and it had me geeking out. And then the waiting game, even longer, until this day, 20 years in the making. People out there are complaining about OH THERE WAS TOO MANY HUMAN CHARACTERS. Yeah well, there was human characters in the cartoon as well. And honestly, who the hell was really paying that much attention to the humans in this movie anyways?

This review is going to be all over the place, because I literally got out of the theater, got home, and sat down to write this bad boy. Because if you are a Transformers fan, you are going to lose your ever lovin mind over this movie. I have not felt like a 10 year old kid in fucking awe and amazed at what I was watching. Optimus Primes arrival made the entire theater geek out, the transformation sound, seeing the transformers move, talk, just like in the cartoons. And I waited even longer, see even though the Decepticons are the bad guys, my favorite character of them all is Starscream, and holy shit I was not let down at all. The human characters work, the transformers are fucking PERFECT. And holy crap the special effects are amazed, not once did I feel like I was watching computer animated robots, they looked, and seemed real in every single way. The cartoon I loved and cherished as a kid was brought to life in front of my eyes. It was like christmas morning, when I was a little kid, and opened up and saw my Optimus Prime toy there waiting for me in a present. This movie made me so excited, and so happy, and so fuckin relieved that it seems like the only thing I can do to really express my happiness is to throw shit around my apartment and scream out my window AUTOBOTS, LETS ROLL OUT! Holy crap, with Prime says those words in the movie, chills baby, fuckin chills.

Michael Bay, you did good kid, ya did good. I am sorry I ever doubted you. But you better kiss the holy ground that Spielberg walks on, because if he wasn't there to keep you tamed and show you how its done, I fear what might have happened. But it didn't. Ladies, Gentlemen, Newton. Transformers is a fantastic ride at the movies. Go and see it now.

P.S. Sorry this review is pretty much just a geek having an orgasm all over the place, I just do not know how to put into words the complete and utter awesomeness that I just saw. I am also eager to hear Newtons thoughts on the movie.

Transformers Eve

It is the Eve of the Transformers. Kind of, tonight at 8pm all over the movie will being screenings. 8pm, and Midnight. But tomorrow is the official release date, and tomorrow is when I will be going to see it.
So far, every review I have read has been positive, saying FINALLY Bay makes a good movie. FINALLY Bay didn't fuck something up. Well what 99% of the morons (ahem Newton) seem to fail to realize that this is not just a Bay movie. But a Spielberg movie as well. How many times has Bay let us down? Damn near every time he stepped behind the camera. But how many times has ol Steve let us down? Rarely ever, save for maybe Twister and Men In Black. But those two movies are nothing compared to all the rest he has given us, like The Goonies.

I have been watching the cartoons lately, have not seen them since I was a kid. And in Newtons hate filled Transformers post, I find even more facts that he got wrong. Where he says something along the lines of, the movie doesn't really resemble the cartoon at all. Well after watching the cartoons recently, I can see that, the movie actually does follow the cartoon pretty well. The human characters from the cartoon are in the movie, the fact that the Transformers can put a hollogram of a human looking like they're being driven by someone in the drivers seat, and a few other things I'll leave as a surprise.

So tomorrow is the big day, and of course I will be here with a review for it. Will it be good? Or will all my hopes and dreams be shattered with a shitty movie? We will see. As for what other people are saying, here are some quotes from reviews for, Transformers.

"Better than sex."

"If it's true that there's an 8-year-old boy inside every man, Transformers is just the ticket to bring the kid out."

"Transformers isn't just dorky, it's gloriously dorky."

"All you can do is grin, shake your head and let Transformers steamroll you into having a blast."

"Has Hell actually frozen over? Are pigs now taking to the sky? I only ask because Michael Bay has achieved the unthinkable: he's directed a crushingly entertaining movie."