Internet Lingo Has To Go

I am getting pretty sick and tired of the internet lately. And I think the IQ level of internet dwellers and message board posters has something to do with it. Most people that can work a computer, have some intelligence but lately it seems to be growing more and more, well dumb. Who is it that came up with internet lingo? Which basically has gone from the simple LOL and BRB to complete sentences, and actual words, which if you think about it have us all talking like god damn 5 year olds. Why do people feel the urge to type TEH instead of THE? So you can look internet cool? If they see something cool on a message board, they will say, "that is teh pwnage" ok now say that sentence to yourself, you sound like an idiot don't you? Also say "I can has cheezeburger". And fuckin shit am I sick of the word epic. Everything thats cool, can't just be cool, it has to be EPIC! or FULL OF WIN! What the fuck?YOU ARE TEH EPIC OF WINNING YOU HAS CHEEZBUGERRZ FOR PWNXORZ? Seriously, it's stupid.

But my serious issue with this, happened over the weekend, when I asked my nephew a question, and he replied with IDK. And we were not talking over the computer, this was in person. People are starting to use internet lingo in real conversations. And it needs to stop.

So anyways people, can we please cut back on the stupid 5 year old misspelling of words on purpose to look cool on the internet? We go to drive thrus, or grocery stores, or call customer service and bitch about people not speaking any English, then we get on the internet, and butcher the English language even worse than Jose at the Taco Bell drive thru. So get your shit together people, or I will pwn you.

Chelsea Clinton will own your face.

Watch as the Clinton daughter puts some asswad in his place on her latest college tour stop, in Indianapolis.

Dirty Harry Returns!!!!!

Man, first we get Rocky back, then we get John McClane back, then Rambo comes back, then Indiana Jones is back, and now Dirty Harry is returning as well?!?! According to aintitcoolnews.com that just might seem to be the case! And yes, Clint Eastwood is returning, no new actors playing Dirty Harry. Aintitcoolnews.com says the plot is....

A thriller about a killer that drives a certain torino. His 1972 Ford Gran Torino is the only thing the police have on him. A retired police lieutenant, one Harry Callahan, makes it his mission to track down the culprit when two young police officers, one Callahan’s grandson, are shot and killed by the guy.

This makes me happy, I don't wanna hear shit about people complaining about how old these guys are, and that they shouldn't be returning. That's just fuckin stupid. I'll take 60 year old actors playing iconic characters that are from classic action films that we will never forget over people like Vin Diesel as XXX. People that complain about original actors bringing back legendary movie characters are the same that complain about the Lost Boys sequel. Would you prefer a remake with some younger shittier actor playing the character? I sure as fuck wouldn't.

Now if we can get John Matrix back one last time, I will be complete.

Famed British Director, Anthony Minghella, dies at 54.

In what can only be described as a shock to the US and UK film societies, acclaimed director Anthony Minghella has passed away. The associated press is reporting the death, but at this time has not released any additional details.

Minghella became well known with his Academy Award winning film, The English Patient. In addition, he directed the Matt Damon thriller, The Talented Mr. Ripley and the Nicole Kidman epic, Cold Mountain.

Minghella has been busy the last few years with several political themed thrillers, including "Iris," "Heaven," "The Quiet American," "The Interpreter," "Catch a Fire" and "Michael Clayton".

He was 54. Condolences here from Devon Lohan to his friends and family.

Boondock Saints 2: All Saints Day.. is on its way!

That rhymed. And it pleases me. What also pleases me is that FINALLY we are getting the sequel to Boondock Saints. Filming will begin this summer which means it won't be out until sometime in 09 hopefully. Unless it turns out like Return To Sleepaway Camp, which was filmed 4 years ago and is still not out anywhere. Sony Picture will be handling the sequel, with the original cast back in action minus Willem Dafoe. If you are wondering what the source is for this fantastic bit of info, it is from Troy Duffy himself. (Writer and Director)

This week on DVD... The Return.

Haven't done a post on new DVDs in a while, but I guess this week is as good as anything to bring it back. Suffice to say, my paycheck is in a lot of trouble, with (count'em) 8 big releases this week!

Starting off, there's the highly anticipated and long awaited 3rd Season of Battlestar Galactica. BSG has long been my favorite show, and I can't wait for the next two months to fly by, so I can watch the 4th and final season in stunning SciFi HD. There's plenty of time before season 4 kicks off to watch the 3rd season, which had it's ups and downs, but ultimately paid off with a season finale that left many jaws on the floor.

After BSG, there comes the release of Greek: Chapter One. If you've never had a chance to watch this show, you must. The second season returns in just a few short weeks, and it's the best way to rehash your old college/high school days and remember all the awkwardy goodness.

On the film front, we get the release of Oscar winner and nominee Atonement. Keira Knightley and James McAvoy star in this epic romance, set against the backdrop of war and many decades.

Also, Richard Kelly's sci-fi epic Southland Tales comes to DVD. I don't even remember it coming to theatres! I know I waited, and waited... so I guess I'm gonna just have to settled for DVD. Loved Donnie Darko, so I hope this holds up to the hype. God knows, I've only been talking about it and waiting for it for about 5 years now.

Will Smith's summer blockbuster, I Am Legend, hits the DVD shelves as well. Make sure to check out the alternate ending, which DL Writer Random Villain wrote about a couple weeks back. It's worth the buy, and makes the movie much more enjoyable.

Last, and maybe not least, is the big money Disney film, Enchanted. I was drug to this one, and ended up actually kinda liking it. The songs are nauseating, but it's overall pretty funny, and Susan Sarandon looks pretty damn good in black spandex... not to mention, she turns in to a dragon.... and anything with dragons is pretty good, right? (Not including D-War............)

So that's it. Head out to your local blockbuster, set up your netflix Queues, or get your asses out to Best Buy. It's a big day for DVD releases.

Kristin Davis.... Did she make a sex tape?

Hollywood, I pose a question to you.

Why do you people make sex tapes?????

It seems like every time someone in Hollywood is stupid enough to make a sex tape, it gets released to the media! We've all seen the Pam and Tommy tape, the Kim Kardasian sex tape, you've probably even been unfortunate enough to see the Chyna and X-Pac tape... *shutters*... but now, I bring to you quite possibly one of the most wholesome actresses in Hollywood...

Kristin Davis has made a sex tape. (Possibly)


The star of Melrose Place and Sex and the City has yet to comment on the tape, but when she does I'm sure she'll deny it's her... but when you see the picture, it's pretty obvious.

The story around the net is that some dude stole the tape (in classic style) and now he's shopping it around (in classic style) and he's provided a nice little image from the tape. I for one would love to see Charlotte York getting it hard, and I'm happy to know that if any of the chicks from Sex and the City are in a sex tape, it's Kristin Davis.

So anyways, on to the seriously NOT SAFE FOR WORK picture.

Clicky, Clicky.

Update: Not even an hour after we posted this, that slut bag Perez Hilton did the same thing! Quit copying us Perez!!

Trailer: The Pineapple Express

If there's two things I like in life, it's weed and movies featuring Seth Rogen. Check out the trailer for The Pineapple Express, in which Seth Rogen is introduced to a violent underworld after he accidentally witnesses a murder while parked on the side of the road, minding his own business... taking care of "business".



P.S. to watch the trailer in HD click the linked name of the movie.

The Peach Pit is open for business again! Beverly Hills 90210 Sequel!?!?!?

That's right. The CW has fast tracked a show that will be a sequel to Beverly Hills 90210. Which in no way will be like The OC, or any of the 27 shows that came after 90210 that was basically the same show....

Anyways, 90210 creator Darren Star is NOT coming back, and instead Rob Thomas, who created Veronica Mars, not the singer for Matchbox 20, I think, will be on board to create this new show, now the important news is.... nothing. No word on what the hell the plot will be, and if any of the original characters are returning, so we shall see what develops from this. Personally, I don't really give a shit, I wasn't really that into 90210, it had it's moments but other than that, meh.

Now watchin the comments as D Money loses his mind over this news.

The Incredible Hulk Trailer!!!!!!!!!

Holy fucking shit ladies and gents THIS is the Hulk movie we have all been craving and wanting since Ang Lee raped his attempt. Fuck it, no words explain how awesome this is, just watch.

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Random Villain Plays Super Smash Brothers Brawl!

Wasn't that big of a fan of the previous games, they were alright, but my nephew was obsessed with them, and he always kicked my ass, so I grew sick of them. Also, and sadly, the Wii is seriously lacking some awesome games and has been collecting dust since Mario Galaxy since I've been playing Call of Duty 4 on PS3 nonstop. So I put Brawl on pre order at Game Stop. And waited...... then Saturday, Midnight, I hit Game Stop, saw the enormous line, walked to the 7-11 next door, bought beer cause Im very manly like that, then walked back to where the line was small, went in, got my game, went home, and began to play....

For 5 and a half hours.

My lame roommate and I played Vs mode for a c0uple hours, and after hearing him complain that the game is fucked up, cause he can't ever win, I kicked him off my Wii and told him to go away so I could begin the story mode, called Sub Space Emissionary. And holy shit. I have to say this is by far one of the most awesome games recently. It goes old school in that it is a side scrolling game. The story is Ganon from Zelda, and Bowser from Mario have teamed up, and with the help of a new weapon, are going around turning all good guys into statues. Well Princess Zelda and Princess Peach are both kidnapped, of course, and Mario, along with Link, Pit, Kirby, and Yoshi team up and head out, while Yoshi, Fox, and Falco get together, and everyone else you could imagine head out to fight the baddies. I never thought I would ever play a game where Link is fighting koopa troopas. It was a geek dream come true. The moment of pure geek out comes near the end WARNING SPOILER where The new Big Bad comes along, and takes out Bowser and Ganon as well as all the good guys that were in the room. Well thankfully, Luigi was far away and he makes his way there, and unfreezes the good guys. Then it gets awesome, when the good guys know they're gonna even need the help of the bad guys in order to stop the new Big Bad. And Link and Zelda walk over to Ganon and unfreeze him and they team up and head up the stairway.

There are many awesome moments in the game, and last night at just under 8 hours I beat the story mode. Now there is still things I have not played yet, like classic mode, and I have yet to dabble in the online matches. But just the things that I have played so far make this the 2nd best game out there for the Wii. Sorry but I don't see any other game on the Wii, or on the PS3 or 360 for that matter, that will out do Zelda Twilight Princess.

So if you have a Wii, this game is a MUST own. If you are not a fan of the crazy Wii Controls, don't worry, you don't use them like that in this game. In fact there are 4 different controller options to choose from. You can use a Gamecube controller, the classic controller, the Wiimote by itself, or the Wiimote + Nunchuck, which is my way to go. The graphics are epic, there is a shot of Princess Peach with a ship exploding in the background that just looks amazing, the music is great as with each character/level is the original theme but updated.

If you have a Wii, get this game, if you don't have a Wii, go get one, then buy this game. Thanks, The End.

Lost Boys: The Tribe trailer is here!

Like any sane movie fan in the world, I am a huge fan of The Lost Boys. When I heard of the sequel, only thing me and fellow writer D Money were concerned about was the Coreys. Well both Haim and Feldman are back. No Haim in the trailer so I'm guessing his role is just a small one. But we get plenty of Feldman and Frog Action, which suits me just fine. Shocktillyoudrop.com has posted the logo for the movie.

And you can click on the SEXAPHONE PLAYER TO SEE THE TRAILER OVER AT MTV.COM!

Oh I Hate Mummy Movies...

God damn. If there is one series of movies that I just can not get behind at all, its the fuckin Mummy movies. The first one was shit, the second one was shit, and then they made the Scorpion King which was even more shit. Now we got a third movie coming out, with more Brendan Fraiser hijinks and shitty one liners. There was one line in the second movie that made me throw my bowl of popcorn at the wall and kick the seats in front of me. When Linkavich Chemolski is on the bus, and the mummys are on their way to attack it, and he says "Oh I hate mummys." Oh my fucking god kill this man.

Anyways, onto the actual point of this shit, Universal for some god damn reason thinks that those 4 movies just won't do. After the new one comes out on August 1st, they are gonna crank out, THREE MORE MUMMY MOVIES! No word is Brendan Fraiser will come back, but Maria Bello will be. Who you ask? Well shes replacing Rachel Weisz in the movies. Since Rachel finally discovered that the Mummy movies suck ass and said fuck this Im out! More than likely Brendan Fraiser will be back, since well he doesn't have much else going on in his career. I still don't think he has done any good work since Encino Man, but whatever.

Want to Be Cast on a Reality Show? Check out HollywoodNorthEntertainment.com!

I'm sure there are plenty of you out there that have always imagined yourself as a reality show contestant, but have never known how or where to go for info. Well Hollywood North Entertainment Castings, unlike other casting or talent agencies, specializes in casting people specifically for reality shows. HNE Castings formed in 2003, and since then have established themselves as the industry leader in reality TV casting. The list of shows that HNE Castings casts for reads like a who's who in reality television shows, from American Idol, The Amazing Race, The Apprentice, and Big Brother, to The Real World, Road Rules, and Survivor, all of those and more work with HNE Castings! On their site, you can simply fill out the form letting them know some information about yourself, what shows you'd like to be on, and upload a picture, then let them assist you in getting discovered. Through Hollywood North Entertainment, you can skip through the process of having to search and hunt for info. on , and have all the information you need in one place at HNE Castings. On their website, you can read testimonials from notable reality TV names such as Tom Floyd, who is ABC's casting director, Howie Gordon from Big Brother 6 and 7, and more who work with HNE Castings. So if you've ever wanted more information on American Idol auditions, figured you could win the Amazing Race, or thought you'd be the perfect houseguest on Big Brother, HNE Castings is THE place to begin your reality TV journey!

I Am Legend Alternate Ending is.... good?!

Obviously, spoilers lie ahead. For those that read my review on this movie, you know that I was not a big fan of this movie, especially the way it ended. It was pretty entertaining and good up until the last 20 or so minutes, and the big finale just really ruined it all for me. And now the alternate ending has surfaced online and has left me confused. From everyone that has seen this ending, agrees with me, it is much much better. It makes sense, and what happens in the alternate ending, is what I was saying SHOULD have happened with the ending they have right now. I don't understand the studios decision to stick with the shit ending and throw away the good ending, but whatever, enough of my blabber just go watch the damn thing.

Head over here to watch the better ending.

Confirmed: Patrick Swazye Diagnosed With Terminal Cancer

It has been rumored all day, no confirmation has been sent in anywhere until now. Patrick Swayzes publicist confirmed today that he does indeed have pancreatic cancer. Although unlike most reports that he might die in the next few weeks, he actually is undergoing treatment, and is doing well. Swayzes physician says "Patrick has a very limited amount of disease and he appears to be responding well to treatment thus far. All of the reports stating the timeframe of his prognosis and his physical side effects are absolutely untrue. We are considerably more optimistic." While undergoing treatment, he will still be working on the films he currently has in production, and will continue his treatment to battle this disease.

This is pretty much the shittiest of the shitty news ever. Most people took Heath Ledgers passing pretty hard and were very shocked by it. As for me this hits harder than Heaths passing does. I have been a Swayze fan ever since I was a little kid and saw Roadhouse at the tender age of 8. I find it kind of strange that just the other day, Jeff Healey the blind guitar player from Road House passed. From the moment I saw Road House I was a big Swayze fan. I went and watched Red Dawn over and over, The Outsiders. I even went back on my word to never watch Dirty Dancing since it was all my Mom watched back then and it drove me crazy. Next Of Kin, Father Hood, Ghost, Tall Tale, City of Joy, Three Wishes, Black Dog, to me, he could never do any wrong, he's the only good thing about Donnie Darko(that's right, not a fan of Darko, most overrated movie ever). I was, and still am, very vocal about how pissed I am that the writers of Fast And The Furious completely ripped off the story of Point Break and never fessed up to it. I remember living in California back in 2000 for a few months with my then girlfriend, and Swayze lived just down the block from her parents house, he had peacocks running around his yard all the time. I always said one day I would get past that gate and meet the man himself, but I never did, I was afraid he'd rip my throat out. But I wish I took the chance.

Here's hoping for a miracle to come along, and keep him around a little longer. And hope that he lives to see that 50 year storm.

Patrick Swayze has FIVE weeks to live?!

What the fuck?!

According to the National Enquirer, Hollywood actor Patrick Swayze is dying from Pancreatic Cancer, and only has 5 weeks to live!

Say it ain't so!
From the Enquirer:

In a shocking world exclusive, The NATIONAL ENQUIRER has uncovered the devastating news that the beloved Hollywood actor and dancer was diagnosed in late January with pancreatic cancer that has spread to other organs.

Full details are in the print edition of the NATIONAL ENQUIRER that goes on sale tomorrow.

For the past month, Patrick, 55, has been traveling to Stanford University's prestigious cancer center in Palo Alto for radical chemotherapy, but his doctors are no longer optimistic that the treatments will be successful.

Patrick and his wife Lisa Niemi — who both have pilot's licenses — have been flying their private Beechcraft plane into Palo Alto's airport, minutes away from the Stanford Cancer Center, where the actor has received outpatient treatment.

He received three doses of chemotherapy and the tumor shrank, but less than his doctors had hoped for — and Patrick was told he should prepare for the end.

"He was told he could have two more treatments, but his cancer was not responding. In short - they held out little hope for a cure," said an insider.

The man who danced into the hearts of audiences worldwide in the 1980s in Dirty Dancing and then broke them in the poignant love story Ghost in the early '90s has lost more than 20 pounds in the past few weeks and is restricted to a liquid diet because he has trouble keeping down solid food, added the insider.

"It's time to start praying for a miracle."

Movie Review: Semi Pro

Once again, I made the grave mistake of letting the girl pick the movie, and in doing so ended up seeing Semi Pro. Not No Country for Old Men, or Vantage Point, or even Be Kind Rewind. Semi Pro...

So anyways, Semi Pro stars Will Ferrell, who usually is pretty funny. I liked Talladega Nights. I loved Anchorman. I even enjoyed Elf and Stranger than Fiction.... but what transpired in Semi Pro was not something you would expect out of Will Ferrell. I honestly did not laugh once. I chuckled at an awkward cameo by Disco legend Patti Labelle, but even that was brought on by how absurd I thought it was. The plot line of the movie is essentially this: Jackie Moon (Ferrell) is a played out Disco one-hit-wonder, who used all his money to buy a minor league basketball team. Basically Moon just uses the team to promote himself, and his own agenda, in a trademark Will Ferrell character oblivious way. The supporting cast is weak, headlined by Woody Harrelson and Andre Benjamin (the skinny dude from Outkast). The entire story is contrived and feels forced, resorting to weaker than usual punchlines and bits.

Usually I'd recommend waiting until DVD, but with this one, I think you can really save your time and money and maybe just wait till it plays 3 times in one weekend on USA or TBS.

Verizon LG Voyager Review

So I have been with Verizon for a couple years now, and I've always been pretty satisfied with their phones. I had their Chocolate phone for about a year, and the first one I had broke. I had to go get it replaced, and then last week, the second one broke too. So I was a bit annoyed but it was alright because I was eligible for an upgrade, and wanted a Voyager, and this Chocolate breaking again gave me the perfect chance. So I have had my Voyager for a week, what are my thoughts?

I really don't see myself getting a new phone anytime in the near future at all. This is the perfect phone. When the iPhone came out, Apple went with AT&T to sell them so Verizon figured they would just come out with their own version of the iPhone, but try and make it better. Here is a list of what the two have, and don't have.

The Voyager has full mms (multimedia messaging) and 2-way sms capabilities.
The iPhone has 2-way sms, but no mms capabilities.

The LG Voyager has a removable and swappable battery.
The iPhone has a fused battery, so it can only be replaced by Apple (for a price)

The Voyager offers VCAST music store.
The iPhone offers iTunes music store on the go.

The LG Voyager vibrates when the screen is touched.
The iPhone does not give any feedback when touched.

The Voyager can record and share video recordings.
The iPhone offers no video recording.

Both have a 2.0 Megapixel camera.

The LG Voyager has text to speech, so it can read your text messages to you w/out installing anything.
The iPhone does not have text to speech.

The Voyager offers a microSD slot that supports cards up to 8GB.
The iPhone offers a 8GB flash drive.

The Voyager has a smaller screen - 2.8".
The iPhone has a larger screen - 3.5".

There is not a 16 GB LG Voyager.
There is now a 16 GB iPhone.

The Voyager's pros: 3g EV-DO network, swappable battery, QWERTY keyboard, GPS, MMS, SD mem, 2 screens, touch screen.
The iPhone's pros: Accelerometer, Multi touch screen, Attractive interface, Pinching images, Visual voicemail.

With the Voyager, you cannot check voicemail if service is unavailable at the time (i.e. on a plane).
Visual voicemail is the new phenomenon with the iPhone. Voicemails are saved to the phone so users are always able to check.

Verizon's service plan starts at $39.99 with $1.99 per MB, or $59.99 with unlimited data, but no texting.
The iPhone has plans that start at $59.99 with unlimited data and 200 texts, or $20 for current AT&T users.

The LG Voyager has an exterior touch screen and opens up to full QWERTY keyboard with a large interior screen and stereo speakers.
The iPhone has only an exposed touch screen with mono speakers.

The Voyager can print using Bluetooth.
The iPhone can't print.

The LG Voyager has mobile TV
The iPhone does not offer TV service

The Voyager has voice dialing.
The iPhone has no voice dialing.

The Voyager has no Wi-Fi, but does have a faster mobile internet network.
The iPhone has a slow internet network, but compensates with a Wi-Fi connection.

Texting on Verizon is free when you text inside the network. It doesn't cost a text.
You only get 200 texts with the original plan for the iPhone. And that's for any network.

The LG Voyager uses VZ Navigator GPS.
The iPhone has no GPS.

LG Voyager users can get a 5-digit code that allows them to upload videos to YouTube.
Users of the iPhone can only watch YouTube, not upload to it.

The Voyager CAN sync contacts, ringtones, pics, videos, mp3s to a PC using BITPIM and can do it wirelessly.
You can only sync your iPhone's calendar via iTunes (not wireless).

The Voyager supports Bluetooth Stereo Headset.
The iPhone does not support Bluetooth Stereo Headset.

The LG Voyager has zoom on its camera.
The iPhone doesn't have zoom.

These are just a small list actually of what each have and don't have. The touch screen on the Voyager is very easy to use, the Mobile TV is pretty cool although Verizon really should come out with more channels, 8 isn't enough. The web browser works easy, the mobile email is easy. Most of all the ringtones are perfect. On the chocolate I had to email the ringtones/wallpapers to my phone and most of the time, they never went through. Now with the Voyager, I can just plug it into my computer and drag and drop ringtones and wallpapers into the phone free and easy. The GPS Navigator works just as good as any other GPS Navigator. There are a few things here and there that I hope they come out with in future software updates, like touch screen games. But all in all, if you have Verizon, you should get a Voyager, you won't be sorry.

UPDATE: While messing around with my phone, I just found out that Verizon, as well as a few other mobile phone companies, now have it set where if you record a video with your phone, you can send the video and have it uploaded directly to your YouTube profile. So if youre at a party, and catch some crazy drunk shit goin down, you can then send the video to youtube, itll upload and be online within minutes. iPhone can not do this.

Jack Nicholson supports Hillary Clinton?!

Apparently so!



It's just a little too early in the morning, but that's pretty fucking funny.