Tuesday, February 27, 2007

You know what.... Fuck You K Fed.

Ive had time to think about this. And one second thought. Fuck you K Fed. Thanks for nothing. Want proof and want to know why???



So thanks alot you fuckass. You came along and ruined one of the hottest pieces of ass that I loved to look at. Thanks buddy, thanks alot.

Thursday, February 22, 2007

Team K Fed

Britney is out of her fucking mind. Shes been in and out of rehab about 10 times this week, and lately these pics surfaced of her outside of K-Feds house! She went over there and he refused to let her inside which led to.........

This bitch is clearly out of her fucking mind. She needs alot more than rehab. Because of this, and many other reports of her mind loss, K-Fed is suing her for 100% full custody of their children.

Now, let us weap as we look at pictures of what we would have cut our arms off to fuck.......

And now..... what she is currently..... kiss your boners goodbye.....

Burger, Fries, and VENGEANCE!!

A little back story....

Here at my work, I am usually the first or second person here, one of my co-workers, well call him, Stoner, for obvious reasons. Hes the guy that says dude and like in every sentence. Anyways........ Stoner gets here later than me....

Well this one week, for about 3 days of that week, Stoner parked on the driver side of my truck EXTREMELY close, I had to squeeze in, and even one time, had to get in through the passenger side door. It was then that I vowed, to one day have my vengeance, which after weeks of waiting, came today!

I come back from lunch, knowing hes going to lunch later, and finally, see an empty spot next to his car. I pull in as close as I possibly could, came into my office and sat and waited for him to leave. Lept from my chair like a boy on christmas morning ran to the window and watched him struggle to get into his car, oh, the glorious day had arrived and I jumped for joy.

Monday, February 19, 2007

48 Hour Film Challenge

Recently I took part in a 48 Hour Film Challenge for the Almost Famous Film Festival. What is it?

Well starting on a Friday at 7:00pm teams are given a theme, prop, and line of dialogue. They then have 48 hours to write, film, edit, and submit a short film. This years theme was Heroism, the prop was crumpling up a piece of paper, the line was I dont believe you.

Well we made our film, we thought long and hard of many ideas and decided on a short film about a person that is in NEED of heroism and gets it from someone he least expects. So here is the film, we find out Saturday if we made it into the film festival, stay tuned.

Saturday, February 17, 2007

Britney Spears is now Sinead O'Connor

Speaking of bad music, Prince, Feder-Spears,etc. Have you seen Britney Spears lately? She is now completely bald. Supposedly she checked herself into rehab and left after 1 day. She emerged bald at a tattoo parlor.

In pics I have seen she looks like an uglier Sinead O'Connor.

But Sinead O'Connor could actually sing and she became famous from covering a song written years earlier by musical genius Prince. And that whole Pope thing,etc.

I have the feeling Britney's career won't be as fortunate.

Friday, February 16, 2007

Shawn Michaels: The Definitive Blog

So continuing with our "Road to Wrestlemania 23" theme, I viewed Smackdown tonight and the Wrestlemania vibe is in full swing. The RAW guys were on the show and it definitely made the show feel bigger. As i saw Shawn Michaels in action tonight, I'm still getting the good feeling that he finally truly is getting back to his REAL self, the showstopper, the main event star who's main goal is to main event every show, and steal the fucking show, and win the damn WWE Title. Ever since HBK returned in 2002, I was thrilled that he was back in action. In the late 90's, Shawns run as WWE champ was no less than awesome. Shawn was a champion that could have the expected 5 star classics with guys like Scott Hall, Bret Hart, or The British Bulldog, but could also go out with virtually anyone and still pull have a great match with anyone from The Undertaker, to Vader, to Sid, Mankind. Basically anytime Shawn went out, some sort of special match was going to happen. That is how he gained his reputation as the show stopper, the main event, etc. etc. The other part of Shawns great run in the late 90's, was the fact that he was one of the most unpredictable guys away from the ring as well. The stories of Shawn taking on 10 marines and getting his ass kicked in New York, losing his smile and randomly walking away from wrestling for months, forming the Kliq with Kevin Nash, Scott Hall, Triple H, and X-Pac, backstage fights with Bret Hart and the eventual "Montreal Screwjob," and even backstage affairs with Sunny. There was obviously never a dull moment in that era of the Heart Break Kid!

It all ended in 1998 when Shawns health had deteriorated to the point where his back just couldn't handle it anymore, and was forced to retire. He had just re-invented himself yet again, forming DX with Triple H and Chyna, and bringing edgy TV that was a major part of the "WWF Attitude Era." During this era, the stories of Shawns backstage antics took center stage, as he basically brought the character everyone read about backstage to live TV, and the results were must see TV! His last match at WrestleMania 14 with Stone Cold Steve Austin was a passing the torch moment, and HBK was gone for over 4 years besides a few appearances. Then in 2002, I was there live when Kevin Nash announced the returning HBK as an nWo member. I was shocked and thrilled, but even more pumped a few months later when it was announced Michaels was returning to the ring.

He had a good run with some good matches and even a short World Title reign. HBK was back full time, everything seemed good, and then.......it all came crashing down. The Shawn Michaels i knew, who went out and did and said whatever he wanted, didn't give a shit about who got pissed. The guy who would get pissed off in the middle of a match and start cussing his ass off if he felt like it, or who would go out in Madison Square Garden and do a curtain call with his buddies on their last night before leaving for rival WCW, was suddenly coming out and talking about finding God, and how the lord was on his side. Was saying he loved his wife and kid, and in more than one of his last few matches over the past few years, it seems like he went out there with the attitude of "I'll just go out and do my best, and if I lose, oh well, I still have God." This guy who's bad ass attitude made me his biggest fan, is out here being the biggest pansy asses I've ever seen. This was like a totally different guy here, he fell victim to WWE's unwritten rule that "good guys" have to be pansy ass goofy fruits. When DX returned this past summer, i figured "WOW ok NOW we get the old Shawn Michaels".....nope, we get Shawn Michaels and Triple H being goofier than ever, and Shawn Michaels leaving during any scene that would be deemed "Unholy." Then, just a month or so ago, Triple H's quad tear caused Shawn Michaels to be put in a different situation. Suddenly he was on TV saying the "Old" Shawn Michaels was back, and suddenly all he was interested in was winning the WWE title, one last time, and getting there by any means necessary! Now THIS i can relate to, THIS is the mindset of the OLD Shawn Michaels. And now, for weeks, I've seen the evidence as Shawn hasn't been John Cena's best friend, he's reluctantly teaming with him if he has to, but the bad ass attitude is creeping back in, thank.....God.
So here we are, on our way to WrestleMania, where John Cena defends the WWE Title against the REAL Shawn Michaels. Shawn has been to the big dance b4, and now he has the chance, to be the showstopper one more time, and to steal the biggest show of the year, and to be the guy to beat John Cenas ass at WrestleMania, and give the fans what they truly want. Last year we had to sit through Cena beating HHH and ruining WrestleMania along with Rey Mysterio winning the World Title. This year, hopefully the old HBK shows up, and gives us 1 more great WrestleMania Moment as should be expected from one of the greatest in ring performers of our time.

Random Villains Thoughts On Music Today


The following blog has many, many bad words. If you are sensitive about music and are easily offended, do not read because you will get your panties in a wad. These are the thoughts and opinions of Random Villain on todays music scene and other music as well.

Emo. What the fuck? Seriously everywhere I go I see bands like, My Chemical Romance, Fall Out Boy, AFI, and other bullshit. A bunch of fuckin soon to be has been fags. I would like for a fan of this type of music to tell me one really unique thing that makes these bands different from the others. Theyre all the same band, a trendy piece of shit that is here now and will be gone tomorrow. Its a SCENE, just like Boy Bands. A trend, something that morons think is cool now but will be gone later. I can not fucking stand these bands. The make up, the hair over their eye. And dont give me this HEY MAN LOTS OF ROCK BANDS WORE MAKE UP! Yes they did, but they also put out GOOD MUSIC. Seriously emo fucks cheer up, stop crying, stop bitching, stop whining about everything. You are popular now but some of you will hopefully soon commit suicide once your shitty careers are over. Want proof that these morons are not original and their own bands? Take a look below.... they even LOOK like the same fucking bands.

My Chemical Romance

Green Day

Green Day fucking blows. They do, seriously. Theyre in their god damn 30s and 40s and singing about the same shit they used to about how the world sucks and OMG IM LIKE AN AMERICAN IDIOT fucking blow me you douche bags. Your gimmick is retarded. Just like Blink 182, you know why they quit? Because someone finally said, hey guys youre hitting your 30s and youre still singing songs about how it sucks being grounded. Grow the fuck up and stop being whiney assholes.

Kurt Cobain fucking SUCKS. Ok? I got into an argument the other day over who was better, my idiot friend thinks Kurt Cobain is a musical genius and is a god while I said dude, Prince is way better. Im so sick of people saying KURT AND NIRVANA CHANGED MUSIC! No they didnt, bands JUST LIKE NIRVANA even from SEATTLE AS WELL! Were around too, Pearl Jam, Soundgarden, both from Seattle, both the same type of music, and all were around at the same time. The ONLY reason, ONLY, reason, Nirvana is popular now is because Kurt was a whiney moron and was the original emo and shot himself. Want proof? Rolling Stone magazine gave Nirvanas Nevermind horrible reviews, once Kurt killed himself, Rolling Stone praise it as the best album ever. Proving Nirvana sucks, and Rolling Stone is full of morons. Kurt Cobain did nothing but have a few hits and then offed himself cause Courtney Love smells. Prince has been around for years, Prince revolutionized music, thus the name of his fucking band THE REVOLUTION. See the Super Bowl halftime shot? Do you think Kurt Whiney Bitch Cobain could have pulled off a show that awesome? I dont think so. He would have sat there, mumbled lyics like he always did, sang monotone, and then shot himself after the show was over. Sure, SOME Nirvana songs I like, but to call the shit CHANGING MUSIC! And saying Kurt CHANGED THE MUSIC SCENE FOREVER! is fucking retarded. Prince found Apollonia which put out SEX SHOOTER. Kurt found NOTHING.

My Chemical Romance, Fall Out Boy, why dont you DANCE DANCE your way off a fucking cliff? Take all emo bands in the world with yout, you are all nothing, and are hot now, save your money because just like Boy Bands, I garauntee in a couple years when emo kids finish puberty and realize this isnt cool anymore, they will stop combing their hair over their eyes, painting their nails and will listen to GOOD music. This is why I have stopped listening to the radio all together. Thanks asshole for ruining music.

And here is something for all you Emo fags to watch and learn something!

On a final note.

Thursday, February 15, 2007

My Favorite Way to Make a Baked Potato ( in the Oven)

So I really like baked potatoes. I like them plain, with butter and/or sour cream, "loaded", "deluxe", whatever.

It's a simple and easy thing to make, and cheap. I mean you can get a 5 lb bag of potatoes for maybe 3 bucks or a very nice loose Russet for less than a buck.

You can even microwave these biotches. But sometimes the potato doesn't come out right. You might cook it for an hour and it's still raw. Then a few minutes later it's overcooked.

In future posts we will discuss all the great toppings ( broccoli and cheddar, chives/sour cream/bacon/cheddar/butter, creamed chipped beef, you know, whatever).

BUT right Now I'm talking the basic baked potato. I will talk about Microwaves ( remember, times vary!) but this is how I cook my perfect baked potato in the fuckin oven.

1. Pre-heat oven to 450 degrees
2. Rinse the potato and rub coarse salt all over the skin
3. When the oven is ready just sit the potato right on the rack. It should take about 45 minutes for a medium potato. The skin should be crisp and the inside should be soft. You will be able to push through it.

Very Important Step: THE DROP
When you take the potato out.. Well I worked in a restaurant for many years and I am used to sticking my bare hands in ovens and broilers. So I will just grab it. You may need an oven mitt or some tongs or other utensil. If you have sensitive hands, playing "hot potato" may also accomplish this, especially if your floor is very clean. But, the way IIII do it is: I take the potato out and wrap it in foil or securely in a paper towel ( for reasons that will soon become obvious the potato should be covered).

Then from a height of about 5-6 feet I drop the potato directly on the floor ( I guesss you could put some wax paper there or something). This step is crucial to making an awesome potato because this smashes it and makes it very fluffy. It breaks the skin and the spuds splatter out.

ALTERNATE: If you don't want to drop it or have dirty floors or prefer hitting things, you can do this another way. Take it out and sit it on a plate/counter/cutting board. Put a couple paper towels on top and start "chopping" or beating it. I would say 2-3 swift blows are sufficient. I can best describe the proper strike as a "karate chop" but with fingers bent/half-closed. This will create the same effect as the floor drop.

Season and Eat: For the basic potato I will stick to salt, pepper and butter. After dropping it the potato skin may open on its own. Or you may need to tear/cut it down the middle. It should be fluffy enough. If not, flake it some with your fork. You know how Thomas's English Muffins have nooks and crannies for the butter to seep in? A good potato is kinda like that. It will have lots of little cracks and fissures where toppings will sink. if not, you want to make some wth your fork. Then I sprinkle salt. Then pepper. Then butter. I find this order of condiment application to be crucial.

Then you eat it. I won't tell you how to enjoy your potato, but I eat the skin( usually first just like I do with Birthday cake) and then scoop out and mix up the insides. I like to save the most buttery pices for last and rub them around in any salt and pepper residue.


Update: Random Villian from Bunch Of Jerks has his "lazy cooking" take on the dropped baked potato: Random Baked Potato Recipe Video.


Fuck Potatoes, thats all Im going to say.

A Random Villain blog, G.C. Style.

Many of us have wondered, what the fuck is up with the blogs that G.C. post? Well, Im going to do one, just like he would......


Corn is really good, not corn on the cob, or cream corn, but the corn kernels in a can. Throw some butter on it, microwave it, throw some salt and pepper on it, fuckin GOOD EATS!

The Nintendo Wii: Going Wiitarded

X Box 360, Playstation 3, Nintendo Wii....
A few weeks ago, I decided it was time to get a new console, I got NES, SNES, PS2, Gamecube, and even a fully working Intellevision. I needed something new. But which?

The Wii appealed more but I was worried about the game play. Moving the controllers to control whats going on in the game seemed annoying, X Box didnt impress me at all so I didnt see why the 360 would. And PS3 is awesome but way too expensive. So after weeks of thinking, I finally found, and bought, the Wii. What did I think?

Ive gone Wiitarded, I have coined this phrase, use it and you owe me a nickle.

Not a day goes by there I dont play some Wii. The sports game that came with it is great fun with some friends, the Warioware Smooth Moves game had to have been made by a game developer that was on something at the time. And Zelda is probably the most awesome stuff I have played in years. Sure PS3 and 360 look good and the graphics rule, but what else? Thats it! Ive played 360 games and PS3 games and its just the same ol shit. Just prettier looking. Nintendo is the one that has taken video gaming to the next level. Nintendo even said they were not concentrating on improving their graphics, but improving the experience and game play, and they succeded. So whats great? Whats not?

Virtual Console: Whats this? Well the Wii can connect to the internet, either plug it in, or if you got a router, youre all set because the Wii can go wireless. The VC is where you can go and buy old school games. For the NES, SNES, N64, Sega Genesis, or Turbo GraFX. I have been looking everywhere for Kid Icarus for NES and recently it was released on the VC. All you got to do is by some points, then download the game you want. Not many are out now for this, but every Monday Nintendo releases 3 or 4 games for the VC for you to download.

The Controllers: Not as bad as I was expecting. In Zelda you really only do motion control if you want to slice at someone with your sword, or aim to shoot something with your bow/slingshot/boomerang. And if you are fishing, in which you use your controller exactly like you would a fishing rod, which is quite fun. With the sports game, its the same, playing tennis, just make the movements like you would playing tennis, same with boxing, bowling, and all else. I played Cars and the driving was fun, you steer the remote as you would a steering wheel. If you are going to play a VC game you either can use the Wii remote, or you have to buy a Wii Classic Controller. But the other cool thing is....

Gamecube Ready: The system takes Wii discs, and Gamecube discs. You can insert your Gamecube memory card, and you can even use the Gamecube controllers on the Wii system to play the Virtual Console games!

The Games: I have only got my hands on a couple so far, but I have not been let down. Zelda is freaking phenomenal and I always hate picking it up and playing for the sole reason that once I do I know I will spend a couple hours on it.

The Leisure: Sitting on the couch but dont want to get up to turn the Wii on? Its ok, you can turn the Wii on using the wireless controller and start playing. I love this feature. You can also turn the Wii back off after you are done.

Overall, if PS3 wasnt expensive, and the 360 had better games, I would still go with the Wii first. So many different options to do on it, you can even surf the internet, I was on MySpace the other day on my Wii. The Virtual Console is fantastic, I now have Kid Icarus thanks to it, as well as a couple other timeless classics. Even Mario Kart 64.

But on March 6th, the fun begins with Mario Party 8 comes out on the Wii, I cant wait to see what they did for this game for the Wii. It will indeed be a party.

Wednesday, February 14, 2007

Flashback: Hulk Hogans Rock N Wrestling!

With the Road to WrestleMania 23 in full swing. I've been thinking about some great old school moments from the glory days of wrestling in the 80, and will be doing a series of blogs on some events that had a great impact on my own experience as a young wrestling fan. In the next few days I'll be taking a look at the first Saturday Nights Main Event that I watched on TV back in 1986 and how exciting the event was for me as a 6 year old experiencing the wrestling explosion in the 80's, and HulkaMania.

Speaking of Hulkamania, one of the coolest things for me as a kid who was just getting big into wrestling, was to find out that Hulk Hogan had his own cartoon! Hulk Hogans Rock N Wrestling was definitely one of my favorite cartoons in the Saturday Morning line up. It basically followed the basic formula that most of the 80's cartoons followed. Hulk Hogan led the good guy group of Andre the Giant, Jimmy Snuka, Tito Santana, Junkyard Dog, Hillbilly Jim, Captain Lou Albano and Wendi Richter against Roddy Pipers bad guy group of Big John Studd, Iron Sheik, Nikolai Volkoff, Mr. Fuji, Bobby Heenan, and the Fabulous Moolah. Very little actual wrestling took place, it was more about the good guys solving a mystery about stolen jewels or a some sort of competition between the good and bad guys. I've read some reviews online, and most are not good, saying that the voice acting is bad (the wrestles did not use their actual voices), and that the storylines were generic (hey maybe they were). But at age 5-7, I wasn't critiquing cartoons on their voice acting, I was just all about fun, and this cartoon provided plenty of it. But personally, I like Retroland.com's look at Rock N Wrestling

In between cartoons, they would have live segments usually hosted by Mean Gene. Sometimes they provided an interview with the actual wrestlers, and sometimes there were some antics like going car shopping with Andre. I seem to remember Andre finally picking a car and having to cut a hole in the roof so his head would fit....can't beat that for entertainment. I was sure to catch this every Saturday morning, and even the commercials for the big rubber LJN WWF action figures were awesome, they sure had some of us in the stores buying away!

I read about a year ago that a company had bought the rights to release Hulk Hogans Rock N Wrestling on DVD, and I sure hope its true. No matter what the reviews say, I loved seeing the WWF superstars in cartoon form, and the cartoon gave me some great memories. There are some Rock N Wrestling video tapes out there for sale still if you just can't wait for the DVD's to come out. I'll even provide you the awesome intro to this cartoon, which is the same music Hulk Hogan used as entrance music for a while in 84/85. This song got me pumped up every Saturday and ready for some Rock N Wrestling.

Saturday, February 10, 2007

One of My Favorite Movies

I am watching one of my favorite movies right now.

Friday, February 9, 2007

Over 20 Years Late, But Goonies Toys are Coming!

As an avid collector of the WWE Classic Series and Rocky figure lines, I've been keeping watch over the big Toy Fair going on this weekend to see what the 2007 lineups will bring. To my surprise, I caught a tidbit from ActionFigureCollectors.com when I was looking over the news from Toy Fair. The news was that after over 20 years, the Goonies are finally getting their own action figures. After thinking about it, it's hard to believe that one of the most well known cult classics of all time never got action figures. Well now thanks to Mezco, we will finally see a Goonies line of action figures. Series 1 will include Mikey, Mouth, Chunk, Data, and Sloth. And there is already talk of series 2 featuring the Fratelli's and all the other main characters, as well as accessories like treasure maps and One Eyed Willy's ship! This is awesome news to me, I rarely find a series of figures to collect, but this is definitely one I'll be picking up. It's great to see these movies finally getting a great toy line, and just like Rocky, I'm sure this collection will be truly awesome to see in action figure form!

Wednesday, February 7, 2007

America Online ( AOL) Paid Surveys Suck

When I signed on to AOL, it asked if I wanted to make up-to $4.50 for a short survey. So I thought "Sure, Why not?"

After answering some demographic questions it said "Congratulations. You qualify for a 15 minute survey that pays $2.25."

Well, it seemed like this shit took about 2 hours ( though probably closer to 35-40 minutes). I don't know if they are purposely lying or if they just assume most people are unaware idiots. See, if you lie or just are not aware of have not heard of anything, it will be very fast.

For example, this one listed about 200 different car makes and models and asked if I had heard of them. Most were easily recognized ( Mustang, Accord, Civic, H2, Camry, Focus,etc). So I truthfully said "Yes." However, the next step asked for every single car if I knew the manufacturer, if I would ever consider buying it, my impressions, if I knew the differences from last year's model,etc.

Realizing this would literally take about 2 hours to answer for every single car, I did what any reasonable person who wanted to make $2.25 for a "short" survey would do: I hit the "Back" button and changed my answers to "No" for all but a handful. A "Mustang"? What? No, never heard of it.

The outcome of this is: You would think either some marketing agency or dealer is paying to have these surveys done ( or AOL is just doing them and then selling/renting the data), and they expect respondents to be reasonably honest. However, if you tell me a survey is going to take 15 minutes and there is no way unless someone in unconscious and has never heard of anything- If I really want the measly 2 bucks, you can bet I'm going to lie on my answers and not take HOURS filling out this thing. So whoever pays for this survey is going to get bad data.

Sunday, February 4, 2007

Don Swayze and Dawson will fix your computer and Slice You Up

So I watched the Super Bowl. Not much to say about that. I mean it was OK and the Colts won. I tend to leave the TV on and not pay too much attention or care to change the channel.

So after the Super Bowl, this show Criminal Minds comes on. Anyway, it's kinda fucked up. It's about killers of Se7en "sin" variety. You know, these people are rich and greedy, this woman is a whore, let's kill them for their sins.

The psycho killer is fucking "Dawson" James Van Der Beek. And his dad, shown in flashbacks BRANDING a cross into Dawson's forehead, is Don Swayze.

Don't ask me how this works, but Dawson, I mean "Raphael" is a computer support technician. When people call him for help, he establishes a remote connection with their machines, then he uses their own computers to monitor and tape them. When he sees a housewife fucking the handyman- well he goes and slices them up, feeds them to dogs, whatever.

This was more exciting than the Super Bowl.

SuperBowl SuperBlog....or Maybe Just Some Reminiscing.

I've never really been BIG into football for any length of time apart from a few exciting times here and there. Not enough flash and excitement for me, pro wrestling has always been my number 1. But being it's Superbowl Sunday, I think back to times when i was a football fan for short periods. When the Dallas Cowboys were awesome to watch back in the 92-96 area, I was big into it. The Combo of Aikman, Smith, and especially Michael Irvin, and later Deion Sanders, my attention was grabbed especially by the latter 2 mentioned due to their extreme attitude and cockyness on the field. For some reason they reminded me of characters you'd see on a wrestling show rather than football. So as many people hated Irvin and Sanders, they were the ones drawing me in to watch football during the period and really want to follow things and play the Sega games, etc.

But as I look back, my first draw to football was in the mid 80's. At the same time I was getting into wrestling, and I loved anything or anybody that was involved or similar to wrestling. So when i first rented WrestleMania 2, aside from the big Hulk Hogan vs. King Kong Bundy cage match for the WWF title, my attention was also grabbed by the headline: "WWF vs. NFL Battle Royal." Wow, what a concept at the time, NFL players wrestling in a WWF ring. I was a huge fan of battle royals anyway, but being able to see the 300 pound now WWE Hall of Famer William "Refrigerator " Perry hit the ring and go at it with Big John Studd, was something that made me take a big interest in the Chicago Bears team. From that time until the Cowboys glory years hit, the Chicago Bears were my team based on the fact that the Fridge played for them. Jim Mcmahon was their QB at the time, and was probably looked at as a loud asshole at the time by sports purists, but he was another guy who's antics made me want to watch more Bears games.

So now, in honor of Superbowl Sunday, I give you a flashback to something that epitomizes the NFL vibe of the 80's...the one and only, Superbowl Shuffle!!! (Get up and do it, we know you want to!)

Saturday, February 3, 2007

Live Blogging Super Bowl XLI ( 41)

So I was thinking about Live-Blogging the Super Bowl, but honestly, I'm just too lazy. Well, I do have a lot of stuff to do anyway, and I'd rather spend that time eating pizza and watching Prince.

Friday, February 2, 2007

The NFL Hates Jesus and his 100 Inch Screen

Apparently it is a violation of the NFL's copyright to broadcast any games on any screen larger than 55 inches ( know anyone with a big screen bigger than that?). It would be considered a "commercial theater."

So they shut-down one church's Super Bowl party. Apparently another Indianapolis area church has decided to defy the NFL and will show the game on a large projection screen.

I will be watching on my old cheap 25"

Brett Favre Farewell Tour Enters 17th Season

In an unusual move, Brett Favre has told a paper and his General Manager that he is going to "give it a shot" for his 17th season. This deviates from previous seasons because he is actually letting the team know BEFORE the Draft and the heavy Free Agency period. Ted Thompson now knows he has an old interception machine he can build around.

Meanwhile, now that Brett has made a decision, he can spend the next several months fishing with the boys and downing Prilosec.

Irrelevant "Truth"- Suck it!, Al Gore!

At no other time has "Global Warming" been such a "hot" issue. Al Gore has a "documentary" about it. There have been meteorologists advocating that "deniers" ( WTF, this is the weather -not the Holocaust) be stripped of National Weather Service certification. The Delaware state climatologist and several scientists claim there is little proof that Man is directly responsible for Global Warming. Honestly it's hard to know who to believe, because almost everyone has a a political and financial stake in the issue.

One thing I DO KNOW: It's fucking COLD. My local weathr just said we expect the coldest temperatures in a LONG DAMN TIME. The forecast for Tuesday is a HIGH of 8 degrees and a low of -2. Tommorow we might top 11 degrees. At least it can be fun when it snows, but there is little snow to speak of. Just flurries and annoying ice.

All I'm saying is it's hard to talk about "warming" when people are freezing their asses off ( And no I don't live in Alaska or {insert cold place here}).

The "Uh Huh" Award goes to...

The award that recognizes those attempts at musical achievements that just make you sit in your chair, stare at your screen, and say "What in the F'n Hell is this?" And the first award here at Ultra Entertainment goes to the only and only.......Corey Feldman!!! This is truly a "WTF" moment.....as in "What the fuck was he thinking"....Please be warned.....this is bad, VERY VERY Bad. And now........it's time to get down with Corey........UH HUH!

Thursday, February 1, 2007

I'm Mike Ditka- Here to Talk to You About Toilet Safety


I hate to go on a rant here, but... When did ESPN interview shows turn into one big fucking commercial? Especially about "products" that already run constantly in the commercials and have nothing to do with sports fans.

I guess since I work at home, I tend to watch TV during time slots aimed at "housewives" but I figure ESPN should be a safer choice than Dr. Phil. Then again a lot of this shit is also on the radio, and these promo spots are probably more normal there, but what the fuck ever..

The first clue something was wrong was when Legendary Don Shula started appearing in weightloss ads with some other NFL football greats like Dan Marino and not-so-greats like Mike Golic ( of Mike and Mike fame). It was bad enough when the bitch from Joe Millionaire ( who had no weight to lose in the first place and now looks weird) and her fugly friends started appearing in all these Nutrisystem commercials 24/7, but do I really need to know that Dan Marino lost 22 pounds and it apparently helped his erectile function?

COMMERCIALS are one thing, but when I watch a Sports Interview show and the guest is a Hall of Fame legend, I expect to hear about sports. I thought I was fucking high ( and I dont use drugs) when I saw Mike Ditka one morning wearing a SCOTT shirt saying "I'm here to talk about toilet safety"..Then he proceeded to say that millions of people take a shit at Half-time during the Super Bowl and SCOTT tissue "degrades" better...umkay. I have seen him appear in the same shirt and do the same shit at least twice since then. This shit is painful to watch.

Then I saw Archie Manning. Kids probably know him as Eli and Peyton's dad. Apparently he works for either ( or both) the PR departments of Mastercard or Sam's Club. He was overjoyed at the great news that SAM'S CLUB NOW TAKES MASTER CARD CREDIT CARDS! Oh boy. I mean that is cool news, but they have always taken Discover, Sam's own branded card, debit cards, Wal-Mart Gift Cards ( go buy one at Wal-mart with your credit card and use it next door), and that Cash stuff. Despite not accepting MasterCard, somehow millions of people have managed to pay for their 80 lb. jars of pickles and 72 packs of Scott toilet tissue without any problem. Apparently Peyton's mom "had to always write a check there." Now she can join last century and pull out one of them shiny plastic credit cards. I can just see her shopping for 10 pound bags of Lays and 5 gallon jars of onion dip for the Manning Family reunion.

Don Shula couldn't win a SuperBowl with Dan Marino, but apparently they go to Weight Watchers together..err, I mean Nutri System. Dan lost 22lbs ( doesn't everyone?) and implores guys to lose weight and improve their sex lives. I'd rather not picture Shula's sex life, but apparently the program helped his wife a lot also. "Welcome coach Shula, you once led the Miami Dolphins to the only perfect season in the history of the NFL, but I can't help but notice you are a little tighter around the middle. How did you lose all that weight? Do you and Michael Irvin get together and snort coke off a hooker's ass?"...