Tuesday, September 30, 2008

Rocky Jumped A Park Bench: The Best Documentary Ever

Many people know of The Angry Video Game Nerd. If you don't know of him, or have never watched his videos reviewing old NES games, go take a watch, you will be happy. But not many know that, like myself and D Money, The Angry Video Game Nerd is a HUGE fan of Rocky. And since he took it upon himself to make a documentary about the locations of the Rocky series. Take a look.

Saturday, September 27, 2008

Paul Newman Has Died

Man, it's pretty strange. Here I am, I am up early, getting dressed and ready to head out to my brothers funeral, who just this past Wednesday died from cancer. And to kill a few minutes I jump online to check email and what do I see? One of my favorite actors of all time has died of cancer. Good grief. Cancer is gay. 100 times gayer than anything else there ever is. Except Devon maybe. Devon might be a tad bit gayer.

There's not much to say about Paul Newman that isn't already known. He was a legend. And starred in some of my favorite movies, from The Sting to Butch and Sundance, Cool Hand Luke, Color Of Money, Slap Shot, The Hustler, and Cars which wound up being his last film. Doctors knew a few weeks ago that the end was near for him, so we all knew this was coming, but it still sucks.

So go out, rent The Sting and Cool Hand Luke, have a lil Paul Newman fest. I am.

Friday, September 26, 2008

Sheriff Joe Arpaio Protest At Wells Fargo In Phoenix AZ

So every day, I get in my car, I travel to get some lunch, and I come across these people.

Downtown, every day, these people are outside of the Wells Fargo Building. Protesting the Sheriff. For what I have no idea. Ya see, if you wanna start a protest, get word out about WHY this protest is going on. I searched Joe Arpaio Protest, and Joe Arpaio Wells Fargo, nothing really with any real information came up. So from what I can tell, Joe Arpaio has offices inside of the Wells Fargo building, and they want him to leave! Why? Hell if I know! I wonder where all these idiots find the free time to go and protest, don't they have jobs? Maybe if people would stop protesting like idiots over stupid crap, they would go to work and the economy wouldn't be in the toilet?

So I ask the head person, the top dog behind this protest to kindly, in our comment section, tell us all, what EXACTLY is this protest about?

John McCain ditches David Letterman

For those not aware, John McCain canceled at the last possible minute his appearance on David Letterman the other night. Saying he had to rush to Washington DC immediately to help with the economy crisis..... Then John McCain appeared on Katie Couric.... so yeah. John McCain lied to someone. That is who people are thinking about voting for, a liar. Good idea.

Well anyways, last night Letterman continued his assault on McCain, stating to McCain directly, "You don't come to see me..... well we might not see you on Inauguration Day."

Anyways, if you are smart, come November. You know who you should vote for. If you don't well then guess what? You're retarded. Deal with it.

I Miss Steve Martin

There was a time, when Steve Martin put out comedy gold. I just finished reading his autobiography, Born Standing Up. Steve talked about his days when he first started his comedy craft while working at the magic shop inside of Disneyland. And how he got his first break, how he got into movies, and it got me thinking. What happens with comedians? They're like wrestlers. They are huge hits, then they either die off suddenly (John Belushi, John Candy), or they just vanish (Chevy Chase, Dan Aykroyd, Rick Moranis), or they go from making great comedies, edgy comedies, to doing nothing but hockey kiddie movies (Steve Martin, Eddie Murphy). Steve Martin has become, from what I can see, kinda unfunny. I always see paparazzi chasing him down and talking to him, and he just ignores them and keeps on his way and the paparazzi get all upset and pissy. But once, just once, I wanna hear a paparazzi, after being ignored by Steve, say to him, "Well excuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuse me!" I think that might bring a smile back on Steve Martins face.

Steve Martin, Chevy Chase, Eddie Murphy were among my favorite actors to watch in comedy movies as a kid, and still are to this day. Their movies from back in their prime, are still funnier than most movies put out today. So I figured, since Steve Martin is my favorite, I would compile a list of the top 10, and you could set out to the video store, or netflix, and snag up some of these and relive the good ol days, when comedy movies were funny.

#5. The Man With Two Brains

#4. Dirty Rotten Scoundrels

#3. Three Amigos

#2. Planes Trains And Automobiles

#1. The Jerk

And of course, his stand up. He is one of the all time greats, if not, the best. Watch this clip. Not many comedians today fire off things on the spot, and adapt and make a joke out of the strange things that happen to them on stage. He was a master at both.

Thursday, September 25, 2008

Depp News!! Pirates 4!! Mad Hatter!!! Weeee!!!!!!!!

Disney Studios had a big deal this morning announcing future movies. And most include Johnny Depp. Who could blame them?

So first up, Tim Burton is going to create his version of Alice In Wonderland. This could go either way. I was really excited when it was announced that he was doing Chocolate Factory a couple years ago, I was fuckin PUMPED to see what kind of madness Burton would bring to the scary as ass boat ride from the original movie. What do I get? Bullshit. That is all. A pile of bullshit. But I am a big Wonderland fan, and Depp as the Mad Hatter seems to be a perfect match.

After Depp is done with his tea party, he will be gearing up to play Tonto in The Lone Ranger. I am gonna try to get video because the announcement sounded pretty cool, once announced a marching band started playing The Lone Ranger theme and Depp himself came out in Jack Sparrow gear but sporting a Lone Ranger mask.

After Alice and Ranger are all said and done, he will be hoping back in his tiny boat for Pirates Of The Caribbean 4. Which I am very happy about, Pirates 2 and 3 didn't get much love but I thought they were great, I was very pleased with how Pirates 3 did not give the typical Disney ending and it went somewhat dark.

Anyways, if you need a Depp fix now, go rent Benny And Joon. Trust me.

Thursday, September 18, 2008

Scream sucks! Wanna know why?

I hate the movie Scream. For one HUGE error which causes the "killer" to appear to be a complete fucking moron.....

First, watch this, if you don't wanna watch the whole thing just skip to the 7:10 mark and watch till 7:40.

So..... Jason didn't show up until the sequel?

Hey! Look at that! Jason Voorhees! In Friday The 13th! Not the sequel... but the first... there he is... look at that....... How can Ari Lehman be playing Jason Voorhees, if Jason doesn't show up in the sequel Mr Ghostface Killer?

Abortion Is NOT MURDER. Deal With That.

This is going to be brief, I am on my way out the office but I thought I would touch on this before I left.

People are going crazy about McCain and Obama. McCain is not wanting abortions to be legal. Obama wants it to be legal. And people are screaming to Obama ABORTION IS MURDER! YOU WANT PEOPLE TO MURDER BABIES!!!! BABY MURDERER!!

Guess what morons. Abortion is not murder. Tell me..... how can you murder something that is not born yet? Hmmmmm? Exactly. And don't give me this BUT IT'S ALIVE INSIDE bullshit because not 1 single person on the face of the planet realizes and remembers actually being inside someone. Thanks.

Obama is not saying for people to run out and abort babies. Obama is saying it is your choice. If you want to abort a baby, it is your body, do what you want with it. You know what that is called? FREEDOM. Remember, that word that America is based on? What people died to protect? Our right to choose. Now let's say, Obama does not win, because there is the chance, there are many stupid idiots in America and for some reason want McSame. So alright! Now abortion is BANNED! If you get pregnant and are forced to have a baby I am sure that the baby will be much happier being thrown into a trash can, put into a microwave, or thrown off a bridge. So yes, vote for McCain so more people that lack all parenting skills can have their kids and get pissed off and beat them to death because the baby was crying during their video games. If we ban abortion, we are just going to get even MORE news stories like the 4 I have listed above. Abortions not only prevent unwanted babies, but they prevent unwanted parents as well.

Abortion is not murder. It's smart.

Review: Knight Rider returns to TV

So next week a new show based on Knight Rider begins. If you remember a few months ago a TV movie aired, well this is the series that launched from that TV movie. The movie was OK. And sadly the new series starts off with a BLARGH.

The writing is horrible. The acting is shit. Everything is just ridiculous about this show. I don't see it lasting a full season without Hasselhoff. That's right. If they do not get David Hasselhoff on this show it will fail. He belongs in the world of Knight Rider. His character from the original show appeared at the end of the TV movie, so we know he's around.

Every 5 minutes whenever the action picks up we are treated some shitty techno bullshit song playing. To annoy you more you have a team at Knight Industries who are mostly idiots except for 2 people who are not idiots, just annoying as FUCK. One girl who has to say quirky one liners that fall flat on the floor. And the other guy that's just annoying. Good lord this is a terrible show. If they cut out half the characters in this show and got some new writers there could be some potential.

Until they get the Hoff back, pass on this pile of crap.

Anyways, you can see for yourself right here. Before it airs next week on NBC. Enjoy... I guess.

Top 15 Horror Movie Quotes

I love me some horror movies. The good thing about horror, is even if it is a piece of shit, it is still entertaining. I've loved horror ever since I was a wee lad and my brother sat me down and made me watch The Evil Dead. My mother sat me down and made me watch Halloween, The Hitcher, and When A Stranger Calls. Not quite sure exactly what my family was trying to do to me..... Anyways, here is a list I have put together of what in my opinion are the best lines in horror movies, ever.

"Watch the magic pumpkin! Waaaaaatch." - Season Of The Witch

"We keep odd hours......who ordered pizza?"
(Skip to 7:20)

"Hi kid." - The Hitcher

"The look like psychos? Is that what they looked like? They were vampires. Psychos, do not explode, when sunlight hits them I don't give a fuck how crazy they are." - From Dusk Till Dawn

"Outlander!" - Children Of The Corn

"Groovy" - Evil Dead 2

"Welcome to prime time bitch!" - A Nightmare On Elm Street 3: Dream Warriors

"Don't fuck with the Chuck!" - Childs Play 3

"I have come here to chew bubble gum, and kick ass. And I'm all out of bubble gum." - They Live

"I didn't mean to call you meatloaf Jack" - An American Werewolf In London

"One thing about livin in Santa Carla I never could stomach....all the damn vampires." - The Lost Boys

"Because I love you, and you've got to let me EAT YOUR BRAINS!" - Return Of The Living Dead

"Thanks for the ride lady!" - Creepshow 2

"Wanna see something REALLY scary?" - Twilight Zone: The Movie

"Have you checked the children?" - When A Stranger Calls

Forget Movies Based On Disney Rides. Lets Get Disney LAND Movies!!

The Rock, that's right Dwayne, I don't care how much you say you're not The Rock anymore, you fuckin are, deal with it, THE ROCK has signed on with Disney to make TOMORROWLAND! Disney is denying that it is a movie based off the land, but fuck off it's what everyone is gonna think when it comes out. Plus if it is, this has GREAT potential. If there is a scene in the movie where The Rock goes to throw some trash away and the trash can runs away from him and demands churros, I think I'll shit my pants laughing. I get fooled by that damn trashcan every time.

Wednesday, September 17, 2008

WNBA Playoffs Start Tomorrow!!

The Story Of Carl Winslow

You think you know Carl Winslow? You don't know shit. I have done extensive research on the one known as Carl Winslow. And this is his story.

Carl Winslow married Harriet in 1972 in Chicago. He was training to be a cop. And times were rough. After months of training and hard work, Carl finally made it to being a street cop, making sure the mean streets of Chicago were kept clean. In 1974 his son Eddie was born. They had just moved into their new house and life was good, for awhile. Crime sky rocketed in Chicago, and Carl was worried that after now having a kid, and buying a house, that the crime would eventually get him. He had put away a lot of people in Chicago, and many were gunning for him. So he started taking out of state jobs, flying out on Mondays and returning home for the weekends. He got better benefits for his family, and much better pay taking a low key job as a jail guard in New York.

Skip to 9:51 of this video, to see Carl on the job for the NYPD.

After New York went crazy, and dealing with monsters and ghosts and demons, Carl decided that dealing with the muggers and gangsters of Chicago may not be so bad after all. So, he decided he would quit his job with the NYPD and head back to Chicago with Harriet, who by this time was pregnant with Carls 2nd child, Laura. Things were going fine, Carl made good money in New York and everything seemed to be going smoothly for awhile. Laura was born, things were good. Until Harriet came to Carl with the news that she was pregnant AGAIN. With Carls 3rd child, Judy. Carl didn't know what to do. A 3rd child would put them in a hole. And wasn't sure what to do exactly. Then, one fateful night in Chicago. A call came through. Carl answered the call and responded. He was the first on the scene and saw a kid in the street with a gun. Carl got out and drew his gun, the kid pointed his gun first, but Carl was faster and gunned the kid down. Upon seeing it closer, Carl realized the kid never actually had a gun. Carl was destroyed. Chicago Police put him on leave. Carl was unemployed, and had 3 kids and a wife to take care of. His reputation was destroyed.

Carl got wind that the LAPD was in desperate need, he had a tough decision to make. He had to do SOMETHING, and being a cop was what he was the very best at. So he sucked it up like a man, moved to LA, and changed his name to Al Powell. He was afraid that people would hear the name Carl Winslow and call him a child killer. He did a great job in LA. Became Sgt. Al Powell. One night, Carl was on patrol, boring night, stopped to grab some twinkes and got a call of suspicious activity going on at Nakatomi Plaza. Carl went to investigate, in what would turn out to be the wildest night of his entire life.

After going through quite a night of helping "Roy" deal with terrorists, it was when it was all said and done that Carl got quite the surprise. Carl looked up slowly, and saw "Roy" walking out with his wife. Roy, of course being, John McClane, a cop from New York, looked up and saw the cop he was on the radio with all night, was Carl. His old friend from the NYPD who John had not seen since Carl went back to Chicago. Both looked, recognized each other, and just started laughing. Carl went home that night, and thought long and hard about everything, about how he almost died twice that night, once being from McClane himself! And that terrorist that popped up almost got him if it wasn't for his quick reflex.

One day, he had flown back to Chicago, to visit, and his old boss from the Chicago Police called him up, and offered him his job back. After the fiasco in LA, Carl was recognized by the city, given a medal, and Chicago wanted him back bad. So, knowing he couldn't just quit the LAPD, he had to finish out his job in LA, while also working again for the Chicago Police.

Carl moved back, and one day, Eddie was in the kitchen, cooking when a fire broke out. Their dream home had burnt down. They had to move into an apartment while their house was being rebuilt. Harriet was constantly having to deal with their insane neighbors, Larry Appleton and Balki Bartokomous. One day, before their phone was hooked up, Carl used their phone because they were so close to cracking a huge case against a corrupt politician. Carl was not aware that Larry was a writer for the newspaper. Larry used the information he got from Carl to break the huge story, and almost blew the crackdown on the politician.

Carl later realized that he could not trust that Larry, and word came in that their house was finished being remodeled. They moved back in just as school was starting. A Life calmed down though. No more terrorists. No more ghosts. His job was secure in Chicago after being promoted to Lt. Carl Winslow. But something much worse happened to Carl. A new neighbor. Named Steve Urkel. After destroying his house, getting them into a shoot out, turning Carl into Bruce Lee, Carl punching Urkels Dad in the face, losing Judy upstairs forever, and every other situation you could ever possibly imagine. Carl was faced with news that would make his life a living hell forever. His daughter Laura accepted Steve Urkels proposal for marriage. Carl, even though that damn kid drove him crazy, was finally happy in life.

Devons Ex Girlfriend Out On The Town!!

Ernie Reyes Jr. appeared to the public eye last night, and TMZ got video of it. So what is ol Keno up to these days? From the looks of things he's just runnin around town gettin wasted and trying to karate chop cameras?

Check out the video of him right here.
If for some reason the link doesn't take you to the right video, blame TMZ and their gay video section, not me. But in case it doesn't just browse the right side in the list of videos and it should appear. Actually I can almost make a promise that link won't take you to the right video. TMZ is such a shit ass site. They have LINK TO THIS VIDEO DIRECTLY links but they never take you to the right video. Anyways, go there, look on the right side for NINJA TURTLE and yeah, that's the video. Have a blast. I farted.

Tuesday, September 16, 2008

It's Always Ugly in Philadephia- Philadelphia People are the Ugliest in America

Yep, the city with the ugliest people is Philadelphia. Big Surprise there. I have always known people in Phildelphia are miserable assholes. And it makes sense. Ugly people are bitter and jealous and hate people who are not inbred.

Hey, don't shoot the messenger. I mean, I didn't make this shit up. I just report the news.

This story is coming from Travel and leisure- America's Favorite Cities. Here are Philadelphia's Rankings. You can see where they rank on the list of beautiful cities.

Apparently people in Philly are fat, fucking rude, ugly, and the place is dirty as hell. This isn't my opinion. I'm sure Philly is a great place! I'm just interpreting the data found on Travel and Leisure.

Monday, September 15, 2008

Second Thoughts About The Dark Knight

So, after yet another viewing of The Dark Knight. I have come to realize....

It's actually not that good.

I watched it, and got to actually read into the movie a bit and there was just too many things that made no sense at all to me, so read through them and maybe you can decide. Maybe help make sense of things.... Also SPOILERS AHEAD!

At the party, for Harvey Dent that Bruce throws. When Joker walks in, causes a fuss, how does Batman walk into the middle of that room unnoticed? Wouldn't one of Jokers henchmen warn him?

At the same party, Joker throws Rachel out the window, Batman dives to save her. Soooooo..... what about the murderous Joker up there still with all those people? Did he just decide to stop looking for Harvey and leave?

How come when it came to finding a shitty mob boss, Morgan Freeman was all cool with the sonar phone thing, but when it came down to ending HOSPITALS BEING BLOWN UP and dozens of cops and innocent people being killed, that sonar was the worst thing ever invented?

The main thing that bothers me, the big finale, fight on the building under construction, when we find out that the hostages are disguised as bad guys, and the bad guys as hostages, how come Batman doesn't just tell the SWAT guys? Or tell Gordon? Instead of just kick the shit out of everyone?

Then, Batman throws Joker off the building. Then saves him. If he was gonna save him, why did he throw him off the building to begin with? Also why kill, ok not kill but let Liam Neeson die in Begins but save The Joker?

Then, Batman throws Harvey Dent off whatever it was, a ledge or something. And Dent dies. And then it more or less goes down as... "We can't let Gotham see Dent like this, they need a hero!" "OK. Tell them I did it. Tell them Batman killed him." "Uh well alright but why don't we just tell them that Joker did this since he, actually did in a way?" "NO! TELL THEM I DID IT!" "Alright fine attention whore."

There's a few more things that bugged me, but I can't think of them right now. All this mainly comes about because I am watching Braveheart right now and feeling like a moron for even thinking that The Dark Knight might have been the better movie.

Spaceballs! The Animated Series! September 21st!!

Mel Brooks was a huge part of my childhood. Young Frankenstein and Spaceballs were movies quoted daily in school by my friends and myself. Even though today, Young Frankenstein is my favorite Brooks movie, as a kid, Spaceballs held that top honor. When word came of an animated series, I got giddy. And the fact that Mel Brooks was overseeing everything, and even returning to voice Yogurt and Skroob, I was a very happy lad.

But then nothing. I has been almost 2 years since word came of the show being made. Waiting and waiting forever until this day arrived that not only is it coming to G4. But it will be here next week!

Check out the promo for the series right here.
I'm not sure how I feel about it. Doesn't seem quite like "Spaceballs" but, I shall have to just wait and see when the first episode airs on September 21st. And is that Princess Toadstool?

Also if you are wondering who else is back, it appears that the only other original cast member coming to bring their voices back to their characters is Daphne Zuniga as Princess Vespa. I have a feeling Rick Moranis is going to be missed.

Sunday, September 14, 2008

DevonLohan.coms 900th Article..... xXx 3... with Vin Diesel back?!

Rob Cohen, director of such awesome critically acclaimed works of pure masterpiece such as, The Mummy 3, xXx, Stealth, The Fast And The Furious, The Skulls..... has decided to come back and do xXx 3. And is bringing back Vin Diesel. Now, Vin is back in Fast & Furious, he already brought Riddick back. Are we going to get a Pacifier Two? Anyways I find this odd since according to xXx: State Of Ice Cubes Paycheck..... The character Vin played in the first xXx was killed. Fuck it, it's a Rob Cohen movie meaning all logic and sense has been thrown out.

Anyways, Vin needs to stop fucking around and being a leader of shitty fuckin movies and realize what his fans REALLY want is BOILER ROOM 2!!!! GOD DAMNIT WHAT HAPPENED DID HE JUST STAY SITTING IN THAT FUCKING STAIRWELL?!?! DID HE GO BACK IN?!?! DID HE RUN?!?! IS HE ARRESTED?!?!?!? ARGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Friday, September 12, 2008

Farewell Devon! Devon of Devon Lohan Has Left The Site....

Devon has thrown his final fit. Today he was OFFICIALLY removed from the writers section of the blog. He..... wait a fucking minute....

Haven't I done this before?
<~~ If you can't tell, click on that. So, in the words of Curly Bill....

Top 20 Rock Songs Of All Time

This was a tough, tough list to do. Soooooooooo many great rock songs out there. So little list. So I narrowed it down based mainly on great guitar solos, great vocals and lyrics, and what I listen to mostly. Now some of you might be like, "Hey what the hell no Jerry Lee Lewis?!" Don't worry, I am positive there are gonna be some songs that deserve to be on this list but totally slipped my mind, but they would have wound up in the 5-10 column anyways. So, with that, turn up your speakers, and rock out.

Kansas - Carry On Wayward Son

Guns N Roses - Welcome To The Jungle

Judas Priest - Painkiller

Motorhead - The Ace Of Spades

Dio - Holy Diver

Iron Maiden - Run To The Hills

Ozzy Osbourne - Perry Mason

Rush - Tom Sawyer

Boston - Foreplay / Long Time

Santana - Black Magic Woman

Pink Floyd - Another Brick In The Wall

Led Zeppelin - Stairway To Heaven

Jimi Hendrix - Purple Haze

Creedence Clearwater Revival - Midnight Special

The Who - Baba O'Riley

Metallica - Blackened

Rolling Stones - Gimmie Shelter

KISS - Rock N Roll All Night

AC/DC - Back In Black

Lynyrd Skynyrd - Free Bird

Thursday, September 11, 2008


And yes, that really is him, here is a picture just to compare.(And no, I did not turn it black and white and add all that gay photoshop mess in there. All Devon.)

::waits for Devons gay comment about me obsessing over him::

Indians Are Stupid. Large Hadron Collider Kills Someone!

So, you all know about that crazy experiment in Europe? The Large Hadron Collider? If not, scientist spent billions of dollars building this thing that can recreate what we call, "The Big Bang Theory". To help scientist try and discover how the universe was formed. Well anyways, people went crazy with the thought of this, and word spread that this thing could in fact, end the world as we know it, that this machine would over time create tiny black holes which would end up swallowing the earth, killing us all. Well the scientists said that was stupid and it wouldn't happen. So who would you believe? Crazy people starting rumors? Or some of the smartest people on the fucking planet?

Some 16 year old idiot indian girl chose to believe the crazy people. And she got so terrified that this thing would destroy the world that she KILLED HERSELF. Yeah, no joke. She saw on the news that this thing was being turned on, and it would destroy all life on the planet and even the planet itself that she ran out and chugged a bottle of pesticide! Yeah, cause, that is totally better than seeing if a wild rumor would be true or not.

Spike Lee Is A Cry Baby

You know who I hate? Spike fucking Lee. I always hear how good he is, and how good his movies are. And hell sometimes I'll see the previews for his movies and think, wow that looks pretty damn interesting. And every time, without fail, I will sit down, put in a Spike Lee movie, and either end up fast forwarding through it, turning it off, or attempting to scratch out my eye balls.

Well now Spike Lee went off on Clint Eastwood a few months ago and because of that he thinks he won't ever win an Academy Award. And he also thinks he will never win one because he is from New York and loves the Knicks. Hey guess what Spike, maybe you'll never win one because your movies suck balls? Ever think of that? Have you tried watching The 25th Hour? Holy fucking shit what a pile of crap. Here is what this retard has to say....

“My wife Tonya told me I may have hurt my chances with the Clint Eastwood stuff… They (Oscar voters and Academy bosses) take everything into account with me. They take into account that I like the Knicks or that I’m in New York.”
“If you did a survey, the bulk of the people who vote in the Academy are in Los Angeles. There’s definite bias, considering that my films are typically New York-based.”

Yeah man, actually, you're right, the Academy fucking hates every movie that is based somewhere outside of L.A. Like The Departed, Forrest Gump, Lord Of The Rings, Chicago, A Beautiful Mind, Gladiator, Shakespeare In Love, Titanic, Braveheart, The English Patient, Schindlers List, Unforgiven, The Silence Of The Lambs, Dances With Wolves, Gandhi..... none of those movies took place in L.A. so I guess that's why they never won an Academy Award huh? Oh.... wait a minute......

The Dark Knight Returns

No, that is not the title of the next Batman movie, I don't think it is anyway. It is just my clever way of letting everyone know this strange news...

Warner Bros has decided that The Dark Knight needs some Academy Awards. I don't disagree. So Warner Bros will be putting The Dark Knight back into theaters come this January, which is the height of the Academy Awards voting season. I find it kind of strange that yes, I loved the shit out of The Dark Knight like any other human on the planet with half a brain, but why would I go to the theater and fork over 20+ dollars to see it, when I will have already owned The Dark Knight on Blu Ray for almost a month? (It comes out on DVD and Blu Ray December 9th.) But of course, knowing me, and knowing how other people are about this movie. We will all head to the theater with the thought of seeing some other movie in our minds, then saying, aw fuck this let's go see The Dark Knight. Thus the reason I have yet to see Tropic Thunder. Went to the theater, even had Tropic Thunder tickets in hand, then saw The Dark Knight was starting at the same time. Sorry Downey.

Wednesday, September 10, 2008

Rambo 5 Is Confirmed

Alli Shearmur over at Lionsgate confirmed today that Rambo 5 is ready to go and will be written and directed once again by Stallone.

I am a bit torn with this. On one side, I've loved Rambo films my whole life, and another one wouldn't hurt at all. The more Rambo the better! But then at the same time, the last Rambo was perfect, and had a perfect ending. Rambo finally came home. So why go with another? I was perfectly happy knowing that Rambo went home, to his fathers farm back in Arizona. And was going to live his life there helping his dad out on the ranch. Peace at last for Rambo.

So what will the next Rambo be about? For me I hope that it takes place back here in America like the first one. Here is my dream Rambo 5.....

A sheriff in the Arizona town is corrupt and squeezing the locals out of money and selling off their land and what not. So he gets fired. A NEW sheriff is hired. No, not John Rambo.... but Will Teasle! (Brian Dennehy) Who we have not seen or heard from since the first movie. Will becomes the new sheriff, and is making his rounds, introducing himself to the locals, and comes to the Rambo ranch.... and comes face to face with John Rambo for the first time since that fateful night over 20 years ago. And the former corrupt sheriff is trying to kill Will and this time, Will needs Rambos help.

Yeah, I've put way too much though into this, but it would still kick ass.


This is major folks.

I have got exclusive footage of Devon from yesterday. See Devon had his whole operation of posting anonymously blown, by himself. Realizing his own error, he quits and throws a temper tantrum like a little kid who didn't get the right Happy Meal toy. I have snagged exclusive webcam video of him during this fiasco!!!

Top 5 Best Shows Of TGIF!

Man, Fridays kicked ass. The weekend was coming. No school. And TGI FUCKIN F!!!! The BEST shows we're always on TGIF on ABC. So with that, I give you my Top 5 of the best damn shows that were on TGIF.

5. Family Matters
Everyone did the Urkel impression in school. And god damn it was annoying. This show was cheesey as fuck, but it did have it's moments. They were the last of the few sitcoms left that did the "Very Special Episode" like when Urkel got drunk, or when Laura was called the N word at school. My favorite episodes being whenever Urkel would drink "Bruce Juice" and turn into Bruce Lee and kick bad guys asses.

Step By Step
Man this show was shit until Cody came on it. That guy kicked ass. I remember he was a kickboxer on the show or some wacky crap. He even saved Dana once from being mugged or some shit.

Hangin With Mr Cooper
I've loved basketball my whole damn life. And I always hated when sitcoms would have NBA teams that were fake and all made up. This was the first time I saw a show that actually had real players and real teams. I remember the episode when Cooper made it onto the Golden State Warriors, only to have his ass handed to him by Charles Barkley and the Phoenix Suns.

Perfect Strangers
To me Perfect Strangers started it all. Literally, Family Matters is actually a spin-off of this show. I remember being kids and playing in the street then realizing Perfect Strangers was about to come on and we would seriously attempt to do the Dance Of Joy.

Boy Meets World
This, was the best fucking show in TGIF history. You had Fred Savages little brother, you had KITT, and you had cameos by wrestlers. On top of that, Topanga was off and on hot. But this show got REALLY good later on in the final 3 seasons. Angela was the hottest chick ever, that giant red head was hot as well. Of course, the main reason to watch, was for the funniest mother fucker in Friday night history, Eric Matthews. FEE NAY!

Halloween Is Near. Time To Start Thinking Of Costumes!!

I freakin love Halloween. As a kid, I always had the coolest of all the Halloween costumes at my school. Of course I also did the typical costumes as a kid, like the ninja, dracula, pirate, a ghost, all the typical gimmicks, but then I would bust out a bit of awesome, such as when I was Voltron for Halloween. Yeah, It was the tiger pieces that were plastic and strapped to my legs and arms and chest and even had the helmet, damn it was awesome. I was Michael Myers, Jason, Freddy, all the goods. My friends were always "rollerbladers" ugh, it was so stupid. The worst year ever was when I got grounded so hardcore, my parents even took away going trick or treating. It was a dark year as I had to stay home and hand out candy.

I still dress up, but being a big guy, costumes are a little hard to come by. I can't really be comic book characters like Batman, or Iron Man, or The Incredible Hulk at all, well alright maybe the Hulk. But still, its not that easy to come up with costumes. Here is a picture of me from last year.Yes, you are correct. I was Walter from The Big Lebowski. Being a big guy, I have had to resort to finding other big guy characters to dress up as, or to just dress up as something weird, a couple Halloweens ago, me and some friends hit Savers, a second hand store, and just snagged the most idiotic looking suits we could find for about 20 bucks. And that was our costumes.

Also, another great reason why Halloween is the best day ever....The hot chicks. It is the one day out of the year where hot girls everywhere dress up like every guys fantasy and it's ok. Nurse costumes, Pirate costumes, Vampire chicks, they're everywhere. This year is the first time I have ever had my own house. And I plan on throwing a Halloween Bash. We also plan on turning the garage area into a type of, Haunted House exhibit of sorts for trick or treaters. Watching Halloween on Blu Ray. And of course, ABC Family has them 13 days of Halloween going on where they show Hocus Pocus 14 times a day!

Yeah, I know it is about a month and a half away from Halloween, but for costumes, you gotta start planning early, you gotta get ready. I am still undecided on what to be this year for the party. But I am leaning towards this.....

I Know What Devon Wants For Christmas!

Now before Chrisvision and everyone get their panties in a twist, this is not a blog about Devon. I just couldn't think of a title for this blog because, well if I made the title about what the obvious thing is, no one would believe it. But trust me, this is real, this is very real, and it's fuckin scary. I'm just gonna leave it at that. Holy wow.

Vince McMahon Is A Big Baby! Doesn't Care About Fans!

So next year, the mother of all video games for every wrestling fan in the world is coming out. Legends Of Wrestlemania. I've been a wrestling fan since the late 80's. Up till 1991 I was a moderate watcher, catching it here and there whenever I could. Then the day came for Wrestlemania VII. And it was Ultimate Warrior Vs. Macho Man Randy Savage. Two of my favorites, in a Career Ending Match. The loser, leaves forever. This match went on for nearly a half hour, it was the best match I had ever seen in my life. That match turned from from being a moderate watcher, to religious watcher up till just a few years ago, when one John Cena ruined everything. But, Macho Man and Warrior, a great fuckin match, at a great Wrestlemania...

One that no one will ever be able to recreate on this game. Why? Vince McMahon cares more about his bitter years long feud than he does about giving fans what they want. He has ordered that Macho Man Randy Savage, someone who was in 9 out of the first 10 Wrestlemanias, be removed from the game? Why? He doesn't like him. BOO FUCKING HOO. He has also had Mick Foley removed from the game. Thanks Vince. Way to put a huge dent in sales cause a Wrestlemania game, missing Macho Man? Why bother? Macho Man had some of the greatest matches ever at Wrestlemania. Macho Vs Dibiase at Mania 4. Macho Vs Warrior at Mania 7. Macho Vs Flair at Mania 8. Ugh. UGH UGH UGH. Whatever. Vince. Dickhole.

Tuesday, September 9, 2008

Devon Has Quit The Blog..... AGAIN

So Devon throws down a challenge.

Post pictures of ourselves with our girls, and people vote on who is hotter.

Well for the most part, my wife seemed to be the fan favorite.

Keep in mind, this whole thing was DEVONS idea. So don't get all pissy at me about that blog. DEVONS IDEA.

Anyways, Devon is getting some heavy heat for his clothes and such. So he posts a comment, which read kinda weird since he was talking in third person, again. This is the second time such a comment has been posted. And of course, we see that Devon, being a moron, forgets to hit the anonymous box, AGAIN. Posts it.

Now like I said, we get email notifications of comments as soon as they're posted, and who posted them, and Devon knows this.

So then, immediately after he makes this post, and realizes his error, he loses his fucking MIND. And QUITS, THE BLOG, AGAIN, over something that was HIS IDEA TO BEGIN WITH.

Well, you all can read the madness right here.

I said it along time ago, Devon should check himself, before he wrecks himself. And today, Devon wrecked himself.

and now, a little song for myself....

Guitar Hero III Les Paul Guitars To Work With Rock Band.

A crazy patch is being released this week for Rock Band that will enable use of the Les Paul guitars from Guitar Hero III to be used on Rock Band. This is fucking GREAT news. I hate the Rock Band guitars. With that crazy squishy strum bar.

This patch is being released mainly for the fact that once Rock Band 2 comes out, your songs from Rock Band 1 can be exported to Rock Band 2. So you don't have to switch game disks to play older songs, they will all be available on 1 disk. Hooray.

I believe this patch for the 360 version comes out today. While the PS3 patch will be out Thursday.

Will Smith Is NOT Captain America. Fucks Sake People.

Before Devon posts the news story that Will Smith might be playing Captain America. I figured I would come and let everyone know that Marvel has said today that it was just a retarded rumor. Seriously people.

For those that may have missed it, Derek Luke slipped out that Will Smith was in talks to play Captain America. And every news site except this one believed it. If you are one of those people that believed that Will Smith would be playing Captain America, you are fucking RETARDED. Simple. Sure, there have been crazy casting decisions in movies before, but really? Come on.

Bottom line, Fresh Prince is not Captain America. Put this to sleep. Thanks.

Monday, September 8, 2008

Frank and Beans

C'mon Guys. Frank and Beans. The Fans want to see it. Make it Happen.

Jordin Sparks Is Fat. Useless.

So uh yeah, at the Nickelodeon Kids Choice Awards, sorry, I mean MTV Video Music Awards, I guess host Russell brand made fun of people that wear purity rings? The Jonas Bros wear them? Yeah, I'm sure they do, but do they live by them? Fuck no. Anyways, Brand made fun of them for wearing those rings, then Jordin Can't Take A Joke Sparks comes out running her fat mouth...

Yeah, that's right. If you have sex before you're married, that makes you a SLUT!!!! Sure, Jordin... I think the real answer lies with Jordin wearing a purity ring to give her an excuse as to why she REALLY isn't ever getting laid. The real fact is, Jordin Sparks is fat, and worthless, and will be forgotten about in a couple years. So what guy in their right mind would wanna hit that shit? Not I. So she figures, well fuck no guy wants to do me, so I'll just wear this here purity ring so I don't look like a loser for never getting laid.

Whatever Jordin. See you on The Surreal Life next year.

Remember When The VMAs Were Entertaining?

So the MTV VMAs were on last night. I passed on watching as usual. Some watched, for some strange reason.

But hey, remember when the VMAs didn't have shit like Jonas Bros running around? And were actually fun to watch?

Gay Picture Contest! Vote Now! You're Gay!

So here is what everyone wanted to see, and to some of you, what, Devon challenged me to post? I think. I dunno I can't remember and people are retarded in comments so I can't keep up with who said what anymore. And because Devon is lame and posting comments as anonymous and other people, then deleting them cause even he realizes how gay it is, I figured I would post this. Hey, he said I could, he even dared me to. And since you people demanded to see it, I will post it. Why? Because I give the people what they want. I am here to entertain you folks.And now, for some strange reason, people wanna vote for something that involves a picture of myself and my wife. Here is a picture of the two of us at our wedding.

The Evil Dead Musical: The Movie!............. in 3-D!!

For years and years, up there in Toronto, those wacky Canadians have been running a musical version of the classic horror film, The Evil Dead. Now word comes that next spring, filming will begin for the motion picture version of the musical stage play. And will get a theatrical run. Not much else is really known outside of that just yet. So uh, here watch this.

When Remakes Are A O K! Childs Play Redo On The Way!

I fucking hate remakes, they never turn out better than the original no matter what, so what is the fucking point? Rob Zombies Halloween is a giant pile of dog shit, and Rob Zombie is a hack writer/director who has no original creative bone in his body. House Of 1000 Corpses = Texas Chainsaw, Devils Rejects = Natural Born Killers with the Thelma And Louise ending, and well, I still stand by this.... The Halloween remake came about because he showed his newest script to a friend, and said friend said to Rob "Dude, just like your past two movies, this is just a ripoff of an older movie, this is almost the same shit as Halloween, you might as well just be remaking Halloween." Then Rob threw the papers at the wall stomped his foot and said "FINE! MAYBE I WILL!"

Anyways, Childs Play is being remade, and I have zero problem with it. Yes, Childs Play is a classic horror movie, but of all horror series that went to shit, Childs Play is the worst, Seed Of Chucky was the most retarded horror movie I have ever sat through in my life. But that is not why I am ok with this remake. Don Mancini and David Kirschner, the creators of the original, are coming back to do a reboot. And they admit, Childs Play went to shit, they have some ideas to make it darker than the original, and wanna do a reboot. Cool. If you are the creators of the original, go ahead and remake it. Just as long as some fucktard that used to be in a bad ass band called White Zombie doesn't come along and try to call the shit his "reimagining". Fucks sake.

Childs Play 20th Anniversary DVD comes out tomorrow. As well as Pet Cemetary and Pumpkinhead special edition DVDs. Good day for horror fans tomorrow.

Sunday, September 7, 2008

RVTV Episode 2

This just features a couple small clips from the drunken night I had before the wedding. And then clips of the day of the wedding. Also a short clip from a film I made, which might end up just being RVTV Episode 3. Cause Im lazy like that, and its a cheap excuse to put something else out quick. Yay.

Saturday, September 6, 2008

The idea of a 3rd Ghostbusters Movie excites me.

Random Villain mentioned this a couple weeks ago, and then news broke yesterday nationally, that Lee Eisenberg and Gene Stupnitsky, co-executive producers on one of my favorite TV Shows, The Office, have begun work penning a script to a 3rd Ghostbuster's movie, that would see Harold Ramis, Bill Murray, Dan Aykroyd and Ernie Hudson back together again, reprising their roles from the previous two films.

Obviously the quartet is older now, so it would be really interesting to see how an update not just of the times goes in that movie, but of the characters. Clearly they wouldn't be able to run around and bust ghouls like they used to, so how would they manage to do it now, and what kind of situation would have to draw them out of retirement?

I always loved the Ghostbusters movies. I got really excited last year when I found a special edition box set with the two movies in it. So hearing that a third installment is in the works gets me about as excited as Random Villain does over a Pixar flick.

I can't wait until news starts coming in about the plot of the movie. Hopefully they'll be able to score Sigourney Weaver back, and god damn Rick Moranis. That dude hasn't been in a movie in like 10 years! When was the last time anyone saw Rick Moranis? He was all over the place back then! Ghostbusters, Honey I Shrunk the Kids, Parenthood... anyways.

The only thing that concerns me is that the movie will be too CG'd up. Some of the best shit about the old Ghostbusters movies was the way the ghosts looked more real, because they were actual people, that got super-imposed on the film and faded out. It made it look like they had substance to them, and that shit was freaky.

I love the Office, and those dudes bring the funny, so hopefully they won't disappoint. I'll keep on top of the news as it unfolds, so stay tuned for that. Unless I quit again.

Friday, September 5, 2008

Raimi and Maguire back for Spiderman 4 & 5!

Word is coming from Sony that Sam Raimi and Tobey Maguire will be returning for Spiderman 4 & 5. With a release date for Spidey 4 to be in 2011. No word if Dunst will return but I think it'll be unlikely.

As for the villain, its been said that once the villain has been named, we will know instantly who is playing the villain. Which pretty much 100% locks in Lizard as the next villain since Dr. Curtis Connors, played by Dylan Baker, was in Spiderman 2 and 3.

Stay tuned for more as this comes along.

Also, this may or may not totally throw the 167th rumored Evil Dead 4 plans in the trashcan.

Top Childhood Movie Trailers

So, as kids back in the 80s and early 90s. We really didn't have the internet like we do today. There was no way of knowing what movies were being made, when they were coming out, none of that. The only way we would find out about new movies, was to first see the trailers or posters in the movie theaters. I miss those days. The days when you would settle in for your movie, and a bad ass trailer came on for a movie or sequel that you had no idea was coming out, and you'd jump up and down on your seat throwin popcorn everywhere tellin your parents to "looooooooooooook!!! looooooooooooook!!! oh my gooooossshh!!!!!!"

So with that, I bring to you the top movie trailers that made me mark out in the movie theater as a kid... Except for one. Ducktales: Treasure Of The Lost Lamp. I loved Disney Afternoon. Ducktales, Rescue Rangers, Tale Spin, fuckin greatness. The Ducktales Movie still is one of the best movies from childhood, sadly the DVD is "back in the vault" and I am not about to drop shit loads of money on ebay for a copy. And also, I can't find the trailer for that movie anywhere. But if I could, it would be on this list....

I loved wrestling. And I still love this movie.

I was big into Star Wars. But of course, my parents.... were TREKKIES. So I had a bit of Trek blood in my veins from birth. Then this damn movie came out and blew my mind out of my skull. Picard AND KIRK? TOGETHER!?!??!?!?!?

The Addams Family. Watched this show daily during the summers along with The Andy Griffith Show. This movie is pretty much a classic. I hope they come out with a special edition DVD someday.

Remember how fucking EPIC Jurassic Park was? I remember me and the kid on my block were so fucking pumped for this movie. Going to the theater and seeing a GIANT fuckin line outside for it. Leaving the theater with our minds blown away, wanting to be paleontologists.

Remember as a kid, no matter how stupid something looked, or how retarded it turned out to be, we still loved it? Perfect example, right here.

I don't care what any jerkoff says, this is still to this day one of the top 3 greatest action movies of all time.

Even though this movie is now forgotten about thanks to Heath and Bale, it is still a great film from my childhood that blew my mind as a kid when I saw it in the theater.

With the announcement of the third movie currently being worked on. I figure I would kick things off with this.

This trailer was pretty damn awesome, and funny.

God damn, Back To The Future fuckin ruled as a kid, and when the trailer for part 2 played, I was a happy lil youngster. About three weeks ago, maybe more, I was drivin home from work and on the freeway was a Deloreon, with allllll the stuff put on it to make it look like the Deloreon from Back To The Future, it made me smile.

Before Ninja Turtles came along and pwned my life. He-Man was all there was in life. I wish I still had my Castle Greyskull playset with the trap door and shit. Ugh. Anyways, this trailer made me go fuckin apeshit in my living room at home. Then the movie came out and confused the fuck outta me. Where was Orko? What the fuck was with that weird wizard dude and chicken? Where the fuck is Cringer? Why aren't they on Eternia? Why's Mr. Strickland in this? UGH!! But, even though that movie sucks ass, when He-Man is getting his ass kicked and grabs his sword and says IIIII HAAAAAAAVE THE POWERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR. That made up for everything else in that movie.

Dumb and Dumber came out on video. I sat down in the living room to watch it with my parents. And this trailer came on. Had no freakin clue that this was being made into a movie. I lost my mind. Threw pillows. Got all excited..... then the movie came out, I saw it in theaters, and wanted to cry at what a piece of fuckin SHIT it was.

The. Single. Greatest. Movie. Moment. In. Childhood. History.

Like my kids, I was hardcore mega TMNT fan. I had every damn figure, even the weird figures like, Soccer Player Raphael. I had all the vehicles like the pizza thrower, and the van. I had posters, I had shirts, pajamas, lunch boxes, bed sheets, all the video games, the cartoons on VHS from Burger King, if it was Ninja Turtles, I fuckin owned it. Every, single day, I would come home from school and watch the cartoon in my parents room while jumping on the trampoline. They had this little mini trampoline in there and for some reason every day I would jump on that thing for HOURS and watch TV at the same time. And eat shit loads of pizza. Then this movie came out, and it blew my mind. It was fuckin DARK. I mean, this was no kids movie. It was violent, and dark, and serious. And even Shredder was serious business. No wacky Shredder with Krang. No Krang at all even, and no one seemed to notice. Making it the best movie from my childhood, along with the best trailer.

Surf Ninjas 2?!?!?

Thursday, September 4, 2008

The Most Awesome Commercials From Our Youth Part 1

Alright, well, my youth, and anyone else in their twenties will agree that these commercials would get you fuckin PUMPED.

I live in Phoenix. So EVERY god damn kid had these things in the summer time. Some kids had the cheap crappy versions like, SUPER DRENCHER but they sucked ass.

Me and my friends would always start playing this game, then we'd give up and just put the thing together and watch it go.

hahahahahahahaha this thing brings back so many memories. My parents had a normal tape recorder that they said I could use but for some reason that just wasn't good enough, I wanted the real damn deal. And I got it, the little microphone thing that extends on it never did shit, it was just a plastic piece of fuck that didn't actually increase the sound quality. And I never tricked anyone with this damn thing.

This game was so bad ass but holy shit, by the time it was all said and done I lost almost every single one of those balls that you use to shoot.

All I gotta say, I would ALWAYS start with a tootsie pop to see how many licks it would take, and I would always just get pissed off like the owl and bite into the fucker.

Always saw this commercial on some old WWF tapes in those giant boxes, one of these commercials would always be on.

God damnit, I never knew what in the fuck this guy was saying. All I knew was that those cars were fucking awesome, and I needed shitloads of them. And I did. I had so many of these damn cars, my mom would always step on them and get pissed. I even had the tiny houses with the tiny garages you could park them in. Yeah, they kicked ass.

You know this commercial. If you don't then you're a fucking douche bag and I don't wanna talk to you. Everyone in their right minds knew what this commercial means. No one gave a FUCK about the kid in the field, or the cameo of Goldberg at Pizza Hut. No one cared about the Hut sponsoring little kids baseball, they just knew, that as soon as that commercial ended on their little VHS, it was time for TEENAGE MUTANT NINJA TURTLES to start.


Back then, awesome video games were only in the arcades. The Simpsons game, X-Men, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. The list goes on. Of course turtles finally made it to NES, but the game all kids lost their minds over, was Mortal Kombat. So when the day came, that I was watching TV on Saturday morning, and this commercial came on, I jumped outta my chair, ran outside, to see if any other kids were running to where the sounds of MORTAL KOMBAT!!! were coming from. Of course, it was the American commercial I saw, which is the same thing pretty much, but hey I cant find the American version on youtube so fuck you.

That's all for now. If you can think of other awesome commercials from the early 90s and the 80s comment about them and I might include them in Part 2.

State Of The Lohan Address

So what has been going on lately? This site has been slow, lack of posts, lack of comments. Things are a little dead around here lately.

Well the truth is, it's not our fault, its the worlds. Just nothing that interesting going on. New Orleans was about to be wiped off the face of the planet, news hyped it up to be the biggest storm ever, but New Orleans didn't get touched.

Celebs are kinda keeping a low profile on everything, and just playing it cool. Britney is somewhat hot again, Amy is still alive, and the movie voice guy died. Shit even the new Metallica album leaked onto the internet and not even Lars seemed to give a shit. Things are odd.

As for with us, well last week I was sick and didn't feel like moving, let alone coming on here to post stupid news stories. D-Money never posts. GC came along with his monthly random ass blog. And of course, like predicted, Devon never really quit the blog, like he says he will for the 67th time. In fact Devon is doing quite well, and has found himself a nice chinese girfriend.

So in closing, if you are wondering why the site is so slow with the stories, its just that nothing all that interesting to us at least is happening in the world. Or there might be something interesting happening, but it's just rumors. And I stay away from rumors as much as I possibly can. So don't worry kids, we are still here, just waiting for something interesting to happen.

Liar Liar: The Sarah Palin Story!

The Associated Press closely watched Governor Sarah Palin, the GOP's VP pick, at last night's RNC convention and has outlined the many ways she exaggerated and lied.

This right-winged bitch is a whack job!

Check the facts!

PALIN: "I have protected the taxpayers by vetoing wasteful spending … and championed reform to end the abuses of earmark spending by Congress. I told the Congress 'thanks but no thanks' for that Bridge to Nowhere."

THE FACTS: As mayor of Wasilla, Palin hired a lobbyist and traveled to Washington annually to support earmarks for the town totaling $27 million. In her two years as governor, Alaska has requested nearly $750 million in special federal spending, by far the largest per-capita request in the nation. While Palin notes she rejected plans to build a $398 million bridge from Ketchikan to an island with 50 residents and an airport, that opposition came only after the plan was ridiculed nationally as a "bridge to nowhere."

PALIN: "There is much to like and admire about our opponent. But listening to him speak, it's easy to forget that this is a man who has authored two memoirs but not a single major law or reform — not even in the state senate."

THE FACTS: Compared to McCain and his two decades in the Senate, Obama does have a more meager record. But he has worked with Republicans to pass legislation that expanded efforts to intercept illegal shipments of weapons of mass destruction and to help destroy conventional weapons stockpiles. The legislation became law last year. To demean that accomplishment would be to also demean the work of Republican Sen. Richard Lugar of Indiana, a respected foreign policy voice in the Senate. In Illinois, he was the leader on two big, contentious measures in Illinois: studying racial profiling by police and requiring recordings of interrogations in potential death penalty cases. He also successfully co-sponsored major ethics reform legislation.

PALIN: "The Democratic nominee for president supports plans to raise income taxes, raise payroll taxes, raise investment income taxes, raise the death tax, raise business taxes, and increase the tax burden on the American people by hundreds of billions of dollars."

THE FACTS: The Tax Policy Center, a think tank run jointly by the Brookings Institution and the Urban Institute, concluded that Obama's plan would increase after-tax income for middle-income taxpayers by about 5 percent by 2012, or nearly $2,200 annually. McCain's plan, which cuts taxes across all income levels, would raise after tax-income for middle-income taxpayers by 3 percent, the center concluded.

Obama would provide $80 billion in tax breaks, mainly for poor workers and the elderly, including tripling the Earned Income Tax Credit for minimum-wage workers and higher credits for larger families.

He also would raise income taxes, capital gains and dividend taxes on the wealthiest. He would raise payroll taxes on taxpayers with incomes above $250,000, and he would raise corporate taxes. Small businesses that make more than $250,000 a year would see taxes rise.

The AP report also showed how Palin's champions have exaggerated the Alaskan governor's 'acheivements':

MCCAIN: "She's been governor of our largest state, in charge of 20 percent of America's energy supply … She's responsible for 20 percent of the nation's energy supply. I'm entertained by the comparison and I hope we can keep making that comparison that running a political campaign is somehow comparable to being the executive of the largest state in America," he said in an interview with ABC News' Charles Gibson.

THE FACTS: McCain's phrasing exaggerates both claims. Palin is governor of a state that ranks second nationally in crude oil production, but she's no more "responsible" for that resource than President Bush was when he was governor of Texas, another oil-producing state. In fact, her primary power is the ability to tax oil, which she did in concert with the Alaska Legislature. And where Alaska is the largest state in America, McCain could as easily have called it the 47th largest state — by population.

MCCAIN: "She's the commander of the Alaska National Guard. … She has been in charge, and she has had national security as one of her primary responsibilities," he said on ABC.

THE FACTS: While governors are in charge of their state guard units, that authority ends whenever those units are called to actual military service. When guard units are deployed to Iraq or Afghanistan, for example, they assume those duties under "federal status," which means they report to the Defense Department, not their governors. Alaska's national guard units have a total of about 4,200 personnel, among the smallest of state guard organizations.

FORMER ARKANSAS GOV. MIKE HUCKABEE: Palin "got more votes running for mayor of Wasilla, Alaska than Joe Biden got running for president of the United States."

THE FACTS: A whopper. Palin got 616 votes in the 1996 mayor's election, and got 909 in her 1999 re-election race, for a total of 1,525. Biden dropped out of the race after the Iowa caucuses, but he still got 76,165 votes in 23 states and the District of Columbia where he was on the ballot during the 2008 presidential primaries.

FORMER MASSACHUSETTS GOV. MITT ROMNEY: "We need change, all right — change from a liberal Washington to a conservative Washington! We have a prescription for every American who wants change in Washington — throw out the big-government liberals, and elect John McCain and Sarah Palin."

THE FACTS: A Back-to-the-Future moment. George W. Bush, a conservative Republican, has been president for nearly eight years. And until last year, Republicans controlled Congress. Only since January 2007 have Democrats have been in charge of the House and Senate.