Thursday, May 29, 2008

The Next Coen Brothers Movie. Burn After Reading Trailer Looks Funny!

This movie looks pretty damn great. John Malkovich plays a CIA agent who loses a shit load of CIA information which falls into the hands of two gym owners played by Brad Pitt and Frances McDormand. Hilarity ensues. From the looks of things the Coen Brothers seem to be back on track with their comedy movies after their last couple tries at comedy were, well shitty. The Ladykillers and Intolerable Cruelty were horrible. But when they do it right, we get gems like Raising Arizona, and The Big Lebowski. And for some reason, whenever Brad Pitt is put in a comedic role, that mother fucker is GOLDEN. Like, Ponyboy GOLDEN.

Click here to check out the redband trailer. George Clooney and the, strangely hot, to me atleast, Tilda Swinton also star.

Headey, I mean, Hedley Lamarr has passed on, R.I.P. Harvey Korman

Another great has passed on. But I never got too much into Sydney Pollacks work. Harvey Korman on the other hand, I was a very very big fan of. I remember being in my early teens, and my Dad coming up to me one day and asking, "do you wanna watch the funniest movie you will ever see in your entire life?" "Of course." I said. And we went into the living room and he popped in the LASER DISC, thats right, we had the giant discs, for Blazing Saddles. And my life was forever changed. And my Dad was not lying, still to this very day, more than 10 years later, I still have yet to see a movie funnier than Blazing Saddles. And even when I see a comedy, and I think it is good, I compare it to Blazing Saddles, it set the benchmark for comedy for me, and my nephew who is also a huge Blazing Saddles fan. Harvey Korman played the films villain, Hedley Lamarr, one of the best comedic villain roles in any movie ever. He was by far, my favorite character in that movie.

He appeared in many more Mel Brooks comedies, like High Anxiety, History Of The World, and Dracula Dead And Loving It. He was also on the Carol Burnett Show, and did voice work for Disney and on The Flintstones. But to me, it will forever be his role in Blazing Saddles that I will never forget.

Harvey had suffered complications related to the rupture of an abdominal aortic aneurysm he experienced four months ago. And it finally caught up to him and ended his life. Now go and pledge your allegiance to Hedley Lamarr. And Harvey go do, that voodoo, that you do, so well. R.I.P.

Zack And Miri Make A Porno Teaser Trailer

Just kidding, well kinda. Unless you're reading this blog on May 30th then just click the image below. Anyways, since today is May 29th, here is the scoop. The TEASER trailer will be online at midnight, west coast time over at

Kevin Smiths latest movie stars Seth Rogen and Elizabeth Banks. Since getting into Freaks and Geeks finally, after borrowing the DVDs from a friend, I am an even bigger Seth Rogen fan than before. And with him teaming up with one of my all time favorite directors, I put this as the most anticipated Kevin Smith movie to date. I can't wait for this flick. Click below to go to the official site to see the teaser.

Fred Durst Made A Movie.... And It Doesn't Look Half Bad!?

So Ice Cube stars in one of those, kid sports movies. About some girl that can throw a football good, and Ice Cube helps her join the high school football team. Big deal right? Well two things are kind of surprising about this.

Limp Biscuit, thats right, I didn't spell it all hip like the actual band does, singer Fred Durst, DIRECTED this movie. WTF right? Major WTF. Capital letters and all.

On top of that, this movie actually doesn't look half bad. I won't be rushing to the theaters to watch it, but when it hits DVD I'll give it a go.

Also does the movie voice over guy remind anyone else of the movie voice over guy from the episode of South Park with all the Rob Schneider movies?

Axel Foley Returns! But..... Along With Sad News.....

Well just the other day I posted a blog about movie icons making their returns in their older age. And now comes word that yet another is coming back. Eddie Murphy has signed on with Paramount to return as Axel Foley for Beverly Hills Cop 4 for 2010. This is great news if the movie is done right. I pray for an R rated return for Eddie Murphy, and coming back as Axel is the best thing to happen in a long time when it comes to Murhpy who has had nothing but shit movies for quite awhile, except Daddy Day Care, I kinda enjoyed that movie, plus Lacey Chabert was in it and she's fuckin hot.

Oh yeah, I know you are probably hyped about this news but guess what. I am about to ruin your mother fucking day. You ready to jump off a bridge? I forgot to mention to you what mother fucking piece of god damn shit is in negotiations to direct the return of Axel Foley...


Yes, RUSH HOUR Brett Ratner. X Men Franchise Killer Brett Ratner. Sweet jesus fucking christ WHY GOD WHY?!?!?!? Please for the fuck of all that is holy do not let this idiot hack of a director make this fucking movie. The somewhat good news is, he is negotiating, so things could change and we will get someone in there that actually knows how to make movies.

Either way, Axel Foley returns in 2010.

Wednesday, May 28, 2008

Music Video of the Day: Kiss "Sure Know Somethin"

Today our music video of the day features a classic that is rarely heard compared to most classics from Kiss. "Sure Know Somethin" is an all time favorite for me personally, even though it came from a period in Kisstory when some fans weren't happy, as Kiss had decided to be a little more "glam" in this era, and the "Dynasty" album was considered something of a Kiss "Disco" album, with more upbeat songs and colorful outfits. Even though many fans hated this period, I think it was a great change of pace, and Sure Know Somethin is a energy filled song that kicks ass. Unfortunately, I hardly EVER read that kiss performs this song live on any of their tours, they DO perform it at their huge shows that they do for DVD and such, and apparently Sure Know Somethin is a huge hit, as is the entire Dynasty album, in Australia, so Australian concerts get the song live. So the chances of ever seeing this performed live are slim, but here is the classic video that rules all:

Tuesday, May 27, 2008

New Step Brothers Redband Trailer!

If I wasn't excited about this before, I sure as hell am now.

Click here to watch the Redband version of the trailer for Step Brothers, starring Will Ferrell and John C. Reilly.

Looks fucking hilarious!

In The Return Of Old Icons. Rambo Is Tops.... But Who's Next?!

We had Arnold return for Terminator 3. We had Stallone return for Rocky Balboa. We had Bruce Willis back for Live Free Or Die Hard. We had Stallone back again for Rambo. Then we had Harrison Ford back for Indiana Jones And The Kingdom Of The Crystal Skull. Shit we even have Corey Feldman back for Lost Boys 2. Who next?

I find it, somewhat odd, and quite awesome at the same time. That Steven Spielberg, and George Lucas, the two biggest film makers of our time, if not of all time, return with one of cinemas biggest icons, Indiana Jones, and even though it is financially so far making a killing a the box office. The movie itself was pretty weak. Yet, Sylvester Stallone, returns with Rambo. And to me, and to others, Rambo is a far better movie than the new Indiana Jones. Why?

The fans. Lucas and Spielberg don't give a damn about their fans. They do what they want, and just look for them dollars signs and box office numbers to light up. As for Stallone, he gave the fans what they wanted. When the new Rambo was being made, he often visited message boards to read what fans were saying, to make sure he delivered what everyone wanted. And what we got was one of the best action films in YEARS. If more film companies cared about the fans, and less about just producing shit, we would get more movies like Rambo, and less movies like Meet The Spartans.

The Crystal Skull is pretty divided. Most people HATE it. Others like me, think it had potential, but failed left and right with idiotic action scenes and way too much CGI. Then there are the retarded people of the world that claim it to be the best, even better then Temple Of Doom! To which if I ever met a person face to face that says the words, Crystal Skull is the best of the 4, then I will have to kick them in the shin and laugh at their idiocy. Everyones entitled to their opinion, unless it's fuckin stupid. Now if someone was to say, Rambo is the best of the 4 movies. That is a good argument, because it just might be. To me, Stallone did a better job at bringing back an icon, than Steven Spielberg did. Stallone, did better then Spielberg. Now this may sound crazy to some of you, but keep in mind, he has himself a couple Academy Award nominations himself. For a movie that won Best Picture. Something I don't see George Lucas doing. Stallone 1, Lucas 0.

And even though Rambo did not make nearly as much as Crystal Skull, Rambo is a far, FAR, superior movie. If you don't believe me, go get Rambo, it hit DVD today. So, in the return of action movie icons, who should be next in line to return? Who is the next icon of film that is now aged and old, but should still return for one last movie? I have my pick, and I am sure you will agree. That there is only one man that needs to return, one last time.

Monday, May 26, 2008

RIP: Sydney Pollack

Sydney Pollack, who won an Academy Award as best director for "Out of Africa," died Monday of cancer at his home in Pacific Palisades. He was 73.

Pollack also was nominated for a best director Oscar for "Tootsie" and "They Shoot Horses, Don't They?" Pollack won an Emmy for his direction of "The Game" in 1965, starring Cliff Robertson. Film. In addition to his Oscar for "Out of Africa," which also won best picture, that film also earned Pollack the best director honor from the New York Critics Film Circle for that film.

Among the 100 best American love stories ranked by American Film Institute in June 2002, Pollack is the only director credited with two films near the top of list: "The Way We Were," at No. 6, and "Out of Africa," which is ranked No. 13.

Pollack died only hours after the Saturday night premiere of the HBO film "Recount," which he executive produced. Pollack also was to have directed the movie about the 2000 presidential election, but pulled out in August due to his health.

Our thoughts and condolences to the friends and family of Mr. Pollack.

On a creepy side note, I have a Page-A-Day calendar at my desk at work, 365 movies... and Monday's movie was Tootsie...

Devon's Review: Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull

This blog may contain plot-related spoilers.

I should preface this post with saying it had been years since I'd seen the other three Indiana Jones films. As a kid, I remember seeing them once or twice via VHS, but never really much since. I honestly couldn't tell you anything about the first movie other than the fact Indy runs from a giant ball. I only remembered bits from the second movie, like the annoying Asian kid from The Goonies. The third movie... I was pretty sure I had never even seen it. So last weekend I made the effort to sit down for 6+ hours and watch all three films, to really get ready for what I was going to see yesterday.

Watching the classics made a true fan out of me, because now at the ripe old age of 23 I could truly appreciate them for what they were, a good classic adventure film. That was the mindset I took in to Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull.

Crystal Skull begins several years after the The Last Crusade, obviously, and finds Indy in the clutches of evil Russians, led by Cate Blanchett, looking for an artifact that will bring them ultimate power. Really from the very beginning of this movie the pace is set, for what ends up being (to quote cliche TV spots for movies like these) "a nonstop thrill ride." Not once in this entire film did I find myself feeling bored, or feeling like I was missing out.

Personally, I think a lot of fans of the classic feeling are going to get bent out of shape over this movie, see: Random Villain's review of it. However, I walked in to this movie expecting to see something over the top. I expected Lucas and Spielberg to go all out, using all of their expertise and plenty of expenses to make a big, beautiful, movie... and that's what they did. Crystal Skull is a GORGEOUS film, hands down. The landscapes, the scenery, the set design, all of it. Everything looks so polished and undisturbed by modern day pollution and ecocollapse. It's not hard to believe that it's 1957. Do you not think that if they had the resources and abilities they have now, back in the 80s the other films wouldn't look this way? Why do you think Lucas redid all the Star Wars films? They were incredibly limited 20+ years ago... so this was clearly their way over using what they now have to deliver, and I feel like they delivered a solid knockout.

For his age, I have to give props to Harrison Ford. He kicks serious ass in this film, even though there are several times when it's obvious the use of a stuntman is being used. I can overlook that. Shia Lebouf, in the unsurprising role *SPOILER ALERT* of Indy's illegitimate son with Marion Ravenwood (Karen Allen reprising) - now married and going by Mary Williams - lends the talents of comedic relief, but even most of that comes as setting up Ford for his trademark Indy one-liners. There's a really good scene towards the end of the movie that reminisces The Last Crusade, and the relationship between Indy and his father. Sean Connery opted out of returning to the role in a flashback scene, but that's explained off quickly with a mention of Dr. Henry Jones being "lost", as you'll remember from the previous film.

The actual plot of the movie would be my only gripe. Now why I didn't mind the idea behind it, I felt the way it panned out was a bit passe, and I can see why the classic fans are up in arms. In past Indy films, there was a great sense of mystery and intrigue, not always answered, with the artifacts Indy discovered. I feel as though Crystal Skull over indulged in this sense, maybe giving a little too much. The idea of the Skull belonging to Mayan Gods (the same Mayans who vanished from the Earth) and turning out to be an actual alien's skull... that's fine... but leave it at that. Leave it at Indy and the gang speculating, assuming even, but don't give me damn aliens. That's a bit much.

Overall, I would have to say I was thoroughly entertained, as were the 4 people with me. The morons in the theater actually gave it a standing round of applause... even though there was no one there to clap for... but I digress... I went in to Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull looking to be entertained, and that's exactly what I was. It's a fast paced action adventure, that delivers when it should, and doesn't hold back when it might need to. It leaves the series open to continue, which may or may not happen... Lucas hasn't penned another film at this point.. but if he did, you can expect it would make millions, as this one has this weekend, and I'd be right there to see it.

Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull: 8/10 stars.

Saturday, May 24, 2008

Indiana Jones And The Kingdom Of The Crystal Skull: Review

Let's just say, I am deeply, deeply, depressed. Like any human in the world, I am a big fan of Indiana Jones. I grew up watching the movies, love the damn ride at Disneyland, went and bought a whip and couldn't figure out how the hell he could get it to stick around beams and crap and swing from it. Love, Love, LOVE the Indiana Jones movies. So when news of the 4th movie broke, I was pretty damn pumped, as was my nephew who also is a huge Indy fan.

Indiana Jones And The Kingdom Of The Crystal Skull RUINS the series. It barely feels like a real Indiana Jones movie. And at points, Harrison Ford doesn't even seem like he's playing Indiana Jones. And it is really sad, because the movie is there somewhere. Somewhere in this movie is an Indiana Jones movie wanting to burst out, but it doesn't. And for some reason, I think three letters have something to do about it. C G I.

I am so fucking sick of CGI in movies. I understand that SOME shots require CGI, but now it's to the point that EVERYTHING has to be god damn CGI. And it has gotten to the point that there is so much CGI going on, it makes the entire experience of watching movies unbelievable to the point of losing the heart of the movie. My main gripe with Crystal Skull is the action scenes. There is no amazing action scenes, because every single last action scene is a green screen CGI heavy bullshit fest. I rolled my eyes, groaned, and even once said "give me a fuckin break" at all the action in the movie. It is damn near the rediculousness of the Charlies Angels movies. Fuck at one point if Shai Labeouf called out god damn Bumblebee to help him and Indy out, it would not have phased me, it would have seemed like it belonged in the movie. I am really tired of over the top action, and it KILLED Crystal Skull for me.

Another thing that killed it, WHERE THE HELL IS EVERYONE?!?! There are logical explainations for the reason why Indys dad and Marcus are not in this movie. But no reason for Shortround or Salah to appear, ESPECIALLY in the end scene because it would have made perfect god damn sense. And it would have made it much better. But nope, all we get it Marion from Raiders Of The Lost Ark and another cameo from Raiders that pops up at the beginning which I thought was awesome.

Lastly, the storyline, it was a little much. The end finale, or as I called it, using every last source of CGI they had left over to make it, was much. Way too much. They managed to take the mystery and supernatural elements of Indiana Jones and turn them all into a fuckin joke. This movie was a mistake, and it's depressing. Crystal Skull has ruined the series.

This movie was directed by Steven Spielberg, and at no point, did I feel like I was watching a Spielberg movie. At all. On top of taking my die hard Indy fan nephew, I also took my other nephew. Both 13 year old kids, seeing a summer blockbuster, seeing a Spielberg summer blockbuster, seeing a new INDIANA JONES movie. Both kids, hated it.

Friday, May 23, 2008

Music Video of the Day: Delinquent Habits "Tres Delinquentes"

Alright this is a feature that we got going awhile back, and it never got off the ground. So who knows, it could become a feature, daily, weekly, who knows. But it's here today, the music video of the day, is the old school classic "Tres Delinquentes" from Delinquent Habits. This was good shit back in the day, around 97 i do believe, around the summer. This song was the jam, and even if you weren't, it made you want to be a bad ass vato when you heard it. When I heard it, it definitely brings you back in time to that era of life, good times. Funny that this is a pretty Hispanic song, but really caught on and all races remember this song. Check it out, and travel back in time, or if you haven't heard it, have a listen and enjoy some old school 90's Mexican gangster rap, or whatever you call this, its definitely a different sound, and not your typical "rap" sounding song. Hell the guy doing some of the rapping considers himself a "blackxican" yeah, this is not typical, but still good old school shit.

Thursday, May 22, 2008

Where To Find Wii Fit? I Have The Answers!

Wii Fit came out yesterday and people everywhere are snatching them up and selling them on ebay for almost twice as much as they cost in the stores. Pretty much every Best Buy, Wal Mart, KMart, Target, Circuit City, Game Stop and other major electronics stores are sold out, gone, done, and no one knows when the hell they are gonna get more.

Well I got me a copy last night. Review coming in a few days after I've had some time to spend on the game. After 1 day though, I am quite enjoying it. And surprisingly it does give you quite a good workout. Devon can't play it though cause it has a 330 pound weight limit for the board. Sorry guy.

ANYWAYS. Here are some tips for those still seeking the game.....

BLOCKBUSTER. Yes, many people are unaware of this fact, but Blockbuster video now sells new release video games. And they are selling Wii Fit. Call them up, ask if they have one, then run down and snag it.

SAMS CLUB or COSTCO. Most places are sold out because kids are going out and buying them, or making their parents. Then theres places like Sams Club and Costco where you have to have a membership to shop there. And not that many people have memberships and also are demanding Wii Fit. I went to Sams Club last night at 7:30pm and they had 16 copies left. ALSO. The bulk buyers, the people that go in and buy every copy to sell on Ebay, can't go here. Since you need a membership, they have it set to where only 1 membership per day can buy 1 copy of Wii Fit. Thus giving them many more in stock.

GAME STOP TONIGHT OR EARLY TOMORROW MORNING. They haven't publicly said this, but those that preordered the game only have until tonight to pick up their copy. Then all copies left over from people that failed to come pick up their copies, will go on sale to the general public. So hit up your local Game Stop tonight just before they close and hope for a copy. Or go to Game Stop first thing in the morning before the open and get your copy then.

Good luck.

American Idol Is Stupid, And So Are You. David Cook Wins.

American Idol is an obsession for some people. They go crazy over their favorite, and lose their fucking minds when they're voted off, but why?

As for me, I watch the auditions like every other sane person in the world. And for those insane people, they watch it all. Which for me, after the auditions are all over, and they narrow the final people down, the show is pretty much POINTLESS.

Every year, thousands of people try out, and only a tiny portion make it onto the show. Past the auditions, and past all the cuts. It gets down to the true people that can sing, I guess. To me they all sound the same, singing the same tired songs, over and over. But here is the real reason as to why most sane people don't bother to watch past the auditions. And why this show is fucking pointless.

Win or lose, everyone gets record contracts. Shit from what I have seen so far, if you go on Idol and fuckin LOSE you end up doing better than the winners. Seriously. Look at Jennifer Hudson, she went on Idol, lost, so what does she do, goes and wins a fucking OSCAR. Chris Daughtry loses, and goes on to sell millions of records and become the new Nickelback. Out of the past 6 seasons, so far only 2 of the winners went on to do great in their careers. Carrie Underwood being the best. Kelly Clarkson being second, I guess. Then theres people like, Ruben, and that Fantasia chick that looks like Chris Tucker, I think shes doing some show on broadway now, woop de fuckin do. Oh and of course Taylor Hicks, yeah man, he went places. And last years winner Jordin Sparks uhhhh, yeah well alright.

So to me, this show is fuckin pointless. If the person you are rooting for loses, you should cheer! That means they are getting a damn record contract anyways, and might end up doing better than the winners. And from what has been rumored, but never really said, the losers are sometimes paid better than the winners. This year Jason Castro was seen on live television mouthing the words "dont vote" and many believe he wanted and was hoping to be voted off, due to being offered a record contract that squashed what he would have received for winning Idol. Daughtry himself has said that he is very very glad he did not win Idol.

Most of all, people complain about these kind of shows, much like they complain about the whole, crappy spoof movies that are coming out. They don't want to see anymore, they hate them, wah wah wah. Well you know how to stop it all from happening people? STOP FUCKIN WATCHING!

Wednesday, May 21, 2008

Reminder: Save your money, Rambo is next week! And John Rambo soon!

Stallone mentioned on Leno last night that later this year, he will release a directors cut of Rambo, and give it the original title of, John Rambo. Fine with me, I'll own both versions because this movie kicked so much ass. So save your money kids, next Tuesday Rambo comes to DVD and Blu Ray. Go buy it. Thank you.

Oh and if you have yet to watch Rambo, here is sample of what you're missing.

If you had no interest in The Happening before, you just might now!

So M Night Shamlalamadingdong has a new movie coming out. His movies have always let me down. They start off interesting, and some even give me the willies, like Signs, but then the movies finale is always a let down. Even Sixth Sense big huge twist left the movie with so many plot holes it was insane. Such as, if Bruce Willis is a ghost, and only the kid can talk to him, who the fuck told Bruce Willis that the kid was in the hospital after getting locked in that closet?

Anyways, his new movie The Happening is on the way, and I had a small interest in it, but after watching this new teaser trailer today, I am fucking THERE. I had no idea that this is Mr. Shamlalamadingdongs first R rated movie! So I am very, very interested to see what he can do when he is not tied to the confines of staying PG-13. Here is a small taste of what he has in store for us.

Tuesday, May 20, 2008

Lindsay Lohan Bikini Nipple Slip

Even though our site is called Devon LOHAN, we really don't write much about that Other Lohan- Lindsay Lohan. I guess it's because we like Lindsay Lohan and don't have much shit to talk about her. Apparently a lot of people are interesting in seeing pics of Lindsay Lohan, especially showing her breasts.

We remember when Lindsay Lohan was just a freckled Disney actress and not the firecrotch she has become. Oh well. We like her just the same.

We are only posting this because it's kinda big news now. We don't really post sexy pics of celebs here on DL, but we know some of our readers are looking for this kind of stuff.

Apparently while vacationing in the Bahamas with some dude, Lindsay Lohan was wearing a bikini and had a nipple slip.

Yep Lindsay Lohan wore a bikini to the beach ( why would any lady do that?) and some stalkerazzi caught a flash of nipple. As you can tell this looks like a huge news day here on Hopefully later we will run into Pauly Shore at Starbucks.

Monday, May 19, 2008

Where is Devon? A.K.A. California Lifts Ban On Gay Marriage!

So we have wondered, where exactly has Mr Devon gone? I miss his Kevin Costner blogs. Well some have their theories, and I have mine....

The California Supreme Court has given the big gay boot to the ban on gay marriage. The big bad Chief Justice says that "responsibility to care for and raise children does not depend upon the individual's sexual orientation."

Now this ruling will not take effect for 30 days, which gives someone enough time to pack up their shit and head out to California, just sayin.....

San Fransisco is going to hold HUGE parties everywhere and invite bands like Nickelback and Panic At The Disco to come and play their gay music at gay wedding parties. As for if any other states are following behind California in lifting the gay ban, none so far.

Especially where I live. Arizona. They actually said FUCK NO to lifting the gay ban. So gay cowboys will just have to wait longer for the ban to be lifted here. As for my personal thoughts on the whole thing, I could give two fucks. I don't see why such a ban is needed. If two dudes want to get together and get married, go for it, it has zero effect on my life. So why the hell should I care? That goes for everyone else throwing the ban down. Just lift it already, who cares? You realize that if you lift the ban, gay people would stop throwing gay riots and having gay parades and starting gay protests don't you? They would mind their own business, just like you should be doing.

That's right, Random Villain is back from his honeymoon, and back in full force. Fags.

Friday, May 16, 2008

Yeah, The Eva Mendes Nude Tits Pics pretty Much Sucked

Yeah, so it seemed like it was kinda a big deal when Eva Mendes posed nude in the Italian Vogue. Eva Mendes finally showed her nude breasts ( ok, I know about Training Day, but I mean in HQ still pictures)- tits with no covered nipple bullshit. Great right?

Well not really. Because the Eva Mendes nude pics pretty much sucked.

As random said in the comments of the post: Nude Eva Mendes. Well, I'll let him sum it up for you:

"Why in the fuck does it have to be all these weird fucked up photos? You have to be a shitty photographer to get one of the hottest women in the world to get naked and STILL fuck it all up."

Fucked up Indeed. Those weird fucking Italians and their fucked up Eva Mendes nude pics. What was that? All the pics were well, WEIRD. And not in a weird/trashy but still hot sort of way. Maybe it was an exercise- they wanted to make a very sexy woman lose all semblance of sexyness while having her tits out. Well, they succeeded. Eva Mendes has probably never looked less sexy than in her naked breast spread crotch photoshoot. Go figure.

Thursday, May 15, 2008

The New Taco Bell Items Put To The Test!

Like any other red blooded American male in their 20s, I am a die hard Taco Bell fan, have been my whole life. And any time a new item hits the Bell, I must check it out. Well Taco Bell has just released 5 new items on their menu, and I skipped breakfast this morning, to put them all to the test to inform all of you, what is good, and what should go.

1. Fruitista Freeze. Mango. Strawberry.
I have waited awhile for Taco Bell to beef up their dessert menu. Only thing they ever had on there was the caramel apple empanada which is alright I guess. And then of course on their dessert menu is potatoes? Whatever. Now we get a fruit freeze drink. And it is great. Real strawberries thrown into the mix at that, which always pleases me.

Final Verdict. 5/5

2. Cheese Roll Ups.
I can do without these things. All they are is exactly what they are named. Shredded cheese melted up and rolled up in a tortilla. Meh, I'll stick to the quesadilla.

Final Verdict. 2/5

3. Triple Layer Nachos.

Nachos are my favorite snack. So to see something besides a tiny bag of chips and a cup of cheese on the value menu, pleases me. Sauce, cheese, beans, on the chips, for only 79 cents? Boosh!

Final Verdict. 4/5

4. Cheesy Double Beef Burrito.
Not bad, but nothing new. Just some beef rice and nacho cheese. Could be better.

Final Verdict. 3/5

5. Big Taste Taco.
The best, saved for last. The name is no joke, this taco has big taste in it. And even though it is brand new, I have to say, it is the best item on the entire menu. Go get it. Baja sauce, lettuce, cheese, beef, crunch strips. OOOOOOMMMMMMMMMM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM.

Final Verdict. 10/5

Goosebumps The Movie!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

There was two things in life I loved as a kid that came in the form of books. One was Calvin And Hobbes. And the other was Goosebumps. Now Bill Waterson, creator of Calvin and Hobbes didn't want to pimp out and commercialize Calvin and Hobbes, thus the reason for no TV shows, movies, figures, nothing, just the books. All the stickers of Calvin you see on cars, are not the real Calvin. My dream would be for one day, Pixar to talk him into it and make a Calvin and Hobbes animated movie, that would sure destroy box office records.

But thankfully, R.L. Stine has no problem at all whoring out Goosebumps. I owned every damn Goosebumps book as a kid, well of course once I got a bit older, I turned to Fear Street and stopped collecting Goosebumps, but the love I have for it is still there. I was really excited about the TV Show that came out in the 90s but it just wasn't that good. I expected more. But now Columbia Pictures and Neal Moritz, producer of I Am Legend and a slew of other Hollywood hits, have quired the rights to Goosebumps to turn it into a film franchise. The rumor is they will cast unknown kids but fill in the adult roles with well known veteran actors, much like the Harry Potter movies.

The movie has been put on the fast track, and I could see it coming out Fall 09. Which book will be turned into a movie has yet to be said, or even if the movie would be based off a book or if it would be a stand alone movie. Now lets get some Fear Street movies goin!

Wednesday, May 14, 2008

Buy Follow That Bird Right Now!!!

I just caught Follow That Bird on cable tonight and god damnit is this movie still awesome. Waylon Jennings drivin the truck singin with Big Bird. Dont get no better than that.

So since this site doesn't have enough ads on it, here is one more.

Click on Big Birds awesome face and you can go buy a copy of Follow That Bird right now! Go do it you sorry son of a bitch! Relive your childhood!

Tuesday, May 13, 2008

Grand Theft Boring

So, I have put a good 2 hours worth of playing into Grand Theft Auto IV. Holy crap this is the most boring game ever. Basically, it is the same exact shit as the previous Grand Theft Autos, just with some enhancements, none of which related to actual gameplay. Nerds everywhere are going on about the graphics, true, the game looks great. And oh wow instead of seeing the car bouncing now when you get a hooker you can see her fucking you! Yee fuckin haw kids.

So far the most thrilling thing in the game is I drove somewhere, and threw a brick through a window for one of my missions. WEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Other than that, I've had a few annoying car chases, and I've had to shoot some guys. All of which I did in the first damn GTA game. Yee haw. Boring.

And of course, I voice my opinion on this to a message board full of GTA nerds, in which they reply with.

"Dude, you've only put 2 hours into a 30 hour game. I'd say you need to play a little more to get to the good stuff."

I have heard the similar quotes all over about this game. And no one realizes how fucking stupid this sounds. What kind of sensible video game player, wants to play a boring game for 3 hours to wait for it to get good? That is the most retarded thing I have ever heard of on the planet. And proves my point even further that 360 and PS3 may have the graphics, but Nintendo will always be king of gameplay entertainment.

On top of GTA being boring, and taking 3 hours before the STORY gets good. It is also easy. It is the easiest damn game I have ever played. There is zero challenge. But of course, maybe after 19 hours of playing, something challenging may happen, yay.

As for me, I will be trading in this pile of crap for some store credit later this week. And will find a game that is good from the beginning. How fuckin stupid does it seem that, todays day and age we have Playstation 3 and x Box 360, and we have a new Grand Theft Auto game out. But Super Mario Bros on the NES rivals it in entertainment, gameplay, and challenge? Seems kinda crazy to me. I didn't have to play Mario for 3 hours before it got fun.

WTF Speed Racer. Why the bomb? Speed Racer Is GOOD!

Sorry for the lack of news and what not kids, I've been a busy lil guy. Gettin married, closing on a house, and being sick as fuck, but I'll try to pick up the pace, just for you. Onward!

I saw Speed Racer this past weekend with a couple other people. And by couple other people I don't mean I went with them, I mean that's all that was in the theater that night with me and the wife. And I sat there and watched this movie and was pretty entertained. It was a good movie. But where was everyone?

How can the creators of The Matrix, turn Speed Racer into a movie that is visually stunning. Like something I've never really seen before. Completely fucking BOMB? It made 18 million at the box office, coming in third place behind the new ASHTON KUTCHER CAMERON DIAZ MOVIE. What the fuck?!!? Here are my thoughts....

Speed Racer is rated PG. Which might have been a turn off for older viewers not wanting to go see some kiddie movie, which it really wasn't honestly I don't see how the hell it was PG but whatever. On top of that, parents wanting to take their kids to go see it, see the 2 hour 15 minute running time of the damn thing and realize sitting in the theater for close to 3 hours (counting getting there in time for seats, watching the 20 minutes of previews, then movie) is not gonna happen with their kid who is hopped up on dippin dots. Mix all that in with the fact that, even though it is a good movie, rated PG, primed for the kids, the plot is fucking confusing as hell. The movie, Speed Racer, rated PG, for kids, is about corporate corruption in the world of racing and about some new engine this evil company makes and some chinese dude is trying to be killed by Racer X saves him and him and Speed have to race with the chinese dude and win the race all while the audience is like WTF is happening in this movie? I didn't fully understand the plot or story until the movies finale. Anyways, seeing John Goodman beat the living shit out of ninjas made my night and immediately gives this movie my two thumbs up. If you plan to watch Speed Racer, go see it in the theater, the visuals are insane and will not hold up on DVD sadly. See it in the theater, or wait for Blu Ray. Also, if you are epileptic, do not go see this movie for you will fucking die.

With that, with my feelings that the movie was just good, not great. And with no one showing up for it, and with Ashton and Cameron Diaz beating Speed Racer. Who the hell is really behind all this?
Yeah, that's who. I believe after last weekend of seeing Iron Man that it will be hard for any movie this summer to get past "it was good" status. Everything will measure up to Iron Man. After we left the theater, the wife and I both said the same thing. "Good, but it's no Iron Man." Robert Downey Jr and Mikey from Swingers single handedly destroyed the Wachowskis. And to me, that is money, because The Matrix Trilogy fucking sucked.

Monday, May 12, 2008

Rocky 3 and 4 Movies in Action Figure Form!

As a Rocky fan, these videos made my day recently, so I can't help but share them here on For anyone that is a Rocky enthusiast, we were overjoyed with the news that Jakks would be releasing a complete Rocky line of action figures a couple of years ago. Their line was awesome, and had some great figures that went deep into the movies, featuring characters that you REALLY had to be a Rocky movie enthusiast to know (Even Frank Stallone got a figure!) But these videos take it to the next level, a complete overview of Rocky 3 (my personal favorite Rocky movie of all time,) and Rocky 4, with the Jakks action figure line! The music is there, the multiple looks of the characters from different points in the movies, and even the legendary Rocky montages are there. When i see Rocky and Apollo figures running on the beach and training, and when I see a bearded Rocky figure climbing mountains and training in the snow, its a true feel good moment for Rocky and even action figure fans. The time and effort that went into this had to be huge, so a huge thumbs up to the creators on these classic creations. So sit back, and enjoy, the greatness, that is Rocky 3 and 4, in figures!

Get your own Rocky Figures at Best Selling Toys Rocky Action Figure page!

Wednesday, May 7, 2008

Nude Eva Mendes has me doing "The Fast and Furious"

What the Hell? I've been a big fan of Eva Mendes since Training Day. I remember scouring the internet for the little nude stills of her from that movie. She has had a lot of sexy roles since then and done some sexy posing in pictures but we haven't really had very many quality Eva Mendes nude pics. Maxim type stuff just doesn't do it for me. For a busty babe, I need to see the breasts and all of that stuff.

Well, guess what? Eva Mendes is nude and shows her breasts in Italian Vogue.

Yep, none of this "cover up the nipples" stuff. We want to thank the Italians. For some reason in the Goood Ole USA if you want to see Eva Mendes nude breasts or the nude breasts of any hot babe you gotta look at smut mags, get a DVD ( if she does nude scenes) or find find the pics online. Of course looking at Eva Mendes nude online will work fine if it's decent quality. And that's why you are here. Excuse me while I blow these up on my 30" widescreen monitor.

Heath Ledger Joker Action Figures are Flying Off The Shelves!

Were you looking to buy Heath Ledger Joker figures at your local toy store? It turns out The Dark Night Heath Ledger action figures may be hard to find. The Dark Knight hasn't even hit theatres yet, but the fact that we know going in that this will unfortunately be Heath Ledger's only appearance as the Joker has sparked a huge interest in his newly released action figures. We've got a few reports that the figures are nowhere to be found in various big cities across the country, and they're obviously already being looked at as major collectors items. We're not sure how widespread the production of the Ledger Joker figures will be, but if they keep selling so fast, they may be really hard to find once the Dark Knight has run it's course in theatres. This is a winning situation either way, as the Dark Knight will be a bad ass movie regardless, and the Joker is always an awesome character to see in the movies, so a Joker figure is already cool to begin with, but now the hunt is on for Heath Ledger Joker figures that are going to be nearly impossible to find by the sounds of things. One of our friends said he was able to buy Heath ledger Joker figures over at Best Selling Toys, who claim they are keeping up with available Heath Ledger Joker Figures, so check them out there if your unable to find this figure from the Dark Knight in stores.

Is anyone out there finding any actual stores where you can buy the Heath Ledger Jokers? Let us know!

Grand Theft Auto IV fixed. No more freezing.

Rockstar released a patch today for Playstation 3 and X Box 360 users who bought GTA IV and encountered freezing problems. The patch released fixes those bugs as well as some of the online problems. Go, play, enjoy.

Tuesday, May 6, 2008

Batman The Dark Knight: Is this Two Face??

Check out these pics that hit the web today. The first one definitely looks like legit, where as the second one looks a little photoshopped to me. Either way, ring in and let us hear what you think about Aaron Eckhart portraying the iconic Batman badguy.

Thanks Heath. No Joker for Batman 3. Thats right, I said BATMAN 3!!!!!!!!!

So here is the word about Batman 3.

The Joker was originally supposed to be back in Batman 3. Somehow, someway. But due to Heath clocking out early this year, things went into a tailspin. And Warner Bros had to come up with something. And that something is The Joker has now been written out of Batman 3. Heath was due to return as The Joker, but Warner Bros decided writing The Joker out completely is a much better idea than recasting him. And I agree fully. Which means there will just be even more Two Face. And much like how The Dark Knight is based off the graphic novel The Long Halloween. The third Batman will be based off of Dark Victory. Which..... introduces Robin. So the Boy Wonder may appear in Batman 3. Christopher Nolan and Christian Bale said they would both be back for a third movie but ONLY, a third movie. After that they are putting their Batman Trilogy to rest.

Grand Theft Auto IV Vs. Mario Kart Wii

Grand Theft Auto has taken over the world. Game nerds, and game sites are praising it as the greatest game ever made. 10 out of 10. A pinnacle in gaming history. And many people fail to see the fact that on the same weekend, another sequel to a classic franchise was released. The new Mario Kart game for the Wii. I own both. And I have spent time playing both. But which has gotten more of my attention? Read on.

Grand Theft Auto IV is a beautiful game. The graphics are top notch. The targeting system is a handy feature. And all the crazy little mini games, like bowling, are pretty cool. But other than that? Meh. People are going on and on about how great the storyline is. Yes, story lines in games are pretty damn cool when you get to play them. But when I'm sitting for 15 fuckin minutes, watching a game, instead of playing it, I start to get a little annoyed. I didn't pay 60 dollars to watch a game. So if there's gonna be a cool storyline, how about letting the actual player get involved. On top of this, the game itself gets pretty repetitive. Watch a 5-10 minute long scene, go get in a car you are given, drive somewhere, beat up someone or kill them, drive back. Go pick someone up, drop them off. Over and over. Now I am sure things get more interesting down the road, but how about something that hangs onto my interest? GTA IV is pretty much just the same ol same ol when it comes to the GTA games. Nothing really NEW is brought to it. I tired the multiplayer and it just seemed kinda crappy. To me, it's a GOOD game. That is it. No 10 out of 10, and far far FAR from the greatest game of all time. I also enjoyed buying this game, when I pretty much punked the crap out of the guy at the counter who said. "Dude do you need anything else for this like a strategy guide?" To which I replied, "Why the fuck do I need a strategy guide for a game that gives the player infinite lives?"

Mario Kart Wii. Well we go back to where GTA is, control wise nothing new. Some new characters, and new tracks. A couple new multiplayer options and motorbikes. And you can also now do tricks in midair to get a speed burst when you land it. No sitting for 15 minutes watching a story and crap. You get in, go, and race your ass off. The Wii Wheel that came with it is a little annoying, but thats where Nintendo is great with the Wii. Like Super Smash Brothers, if one control option is annoying, there are about 4 others. Don't like the wheel? Use the Wiimote and Nunchuck, don't like that? Use just the wiimote, or the classic controller. Shit you can even use a Gamecube controller. Along with that are of course some new characters. And my favorite part being the Retro Classes. Where some tracks from previous Mario Karts are playable in the cup series. And for the first time as well, Mario Kart is online, so you can race with friends from anywhere. And it also has CO OP online. Which I have been praying for. There are online tournaments held by Nintendo as well. So much more with the online features I have not even tried everything out yet.

So, which game gets more of my attention? Mario Kart Wii. Hands down, much, much more fun to play alone, or with friends, or online.

P.S. To the game nerds saying GTA IV is better than Ocarina Of Time, you are mentally challenged.

Monday, May 5, 2008

Geekgasms. The Avengers are coming! Iron Man Thoughts, and More about Marvel!

I'm just gonna get straight to the point. I saw Iron Man over the weekend. And it is hands down the BEST comic book movie ever. Better than Spiderman. Damn right. And we now venture to Spoiler Land so beware. If you stayed after the credits for Iron Man, you would have seen Mr. Samuel L. Jackson appear as Nick Fury. And he has come to Tony Stark to talk to him about The Avengers Initiative. Indeed. Geek out all over the chair in front of you kinda moment.

Now, many questions blew into the air, and yes, all answers are here.....

The Incredible Hulk as we all know, comes out in a couple months. Tony Stark, makes an appearance, and yes, it is Robert Downey Jr.

April 30th 2010, we will have Iron Man 2 which in that movie, will introduce Thor, who will have his own movie June 4th 2010.

May 6th 2011. We will get Captain America!

And what does this all mean? It means we will be headed towards The Avengers in July 2011.

God damnit this is awesome news. Thank god Marvel started their own studio so they could get shit done right.

Alright, now go run around like a maniac.