Friday, October 31, 2008

Chupacabra Sighting In Phoenix AZ!!!

The Chupacabra was spotted in Phoenix AZ earlier today shopping at a grocery store, he was caught in some really grainy cell phone camera footage coming out with a case of coronas.



The Top 10 Creepiest Music Videos/Songs For Halloween

Alright first off I know EXACTLY what you're thinking. And sorry but Monster Mash, and Thriller will NOT be anywhere on this list. Why? Well even though Thriller is the best music video and song for a Halloween party, I just wanna shine the light on other good hits that are creepy, or perfect for a Halloween shin dig for people to watch, or listen to.

#10
Rolling Stones - Sympathy For The Devil


#9
Creedence Clearwater Revival


#8
Charlie Daniels Band - Legend Of Wooley Swamp


#7
Genesis - Land Of Confusion


#6
Sam The Sham And The Pharaohs - Little Red Riding Hood


#5
Soundgarden - Black Hole Sun


#4
Aphex Twin - Come To Daddy


#3
Tool - Schism


#2
Marilyn Manson - I Put A Spell On You


#1
Helloween - Halloween


Thursday, October 30, 2008

LOL @ San Antonio Spurs Fans. Suns Vs. Spurs Recap.

Wow, take a look at this tool before the Phoenix Suns Vs. San Antonio Spurs game last night.....



TONIGHT IS THE NIGHT! I GOT THE SAME CLOTHES I HAD ON MONTHS AGO! EEEEEEEE!!

Anyways, here is same douche bag, a few hours later, AFTER the game....



I really like how he goes from this...


To this....


BAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAA..

Anyways, here is the recap of the game...


Samuel L Jackson Is The Shogun Of Harlem! The Last Dragon Remake?!

The RZA from the Wu Tang Clan is producing.

Samuel L Jackson is playing Sho Nuff. The mastah!

Good lord, that is awesome news. See it is remakes like THIS that I can give the thumbs up to. If you're gonna remake something, do it some mother fuckin justice. Before this news broke if someone asked me, "Hey what would make The Last Dragon better?" I would say Samuel L Jackson and The Wu. And well, here we have it. No word on a release date yet or any of that goodness. Watch this to tide you over.



Tuesday, October 28, 2008

Top 10 Things To Watch On Halloween

I have had quite the busy month. October 1st I decided that every day this month I would watch something Halloween or Horror related. And I stuck to it, from the Halloween episodes of Adventures Of Pete And Pete and Roseanne to Addams Family Season 1, I have had quite the fill of horror all counting down to the big day this Friday. So with that I thought I would compile a list to help those out there wondering what they should be watching Friday, October 31st. Except for Halloween, Halloween isn't on this list because well, if you're not watching Halloween before, or on Halloween, then you shouldn't even be celebrating the holiday in the first place. Or reading this.

10. The Crow
Sure it's not really a horror movie, but it is a Halloween themed movie. Shelly and Eric made an attempt to get married on Halloween but are killed the night before. 1 year later Eric comes back from the dead to get his revenge. If you have not seen this movie, you need to. It is one of the most bad ass movies of all time.



9. Beetlejuice
I figured Tim Burton should be on this list somewhere. And the ghost with the most deserves to be seen during Halloween time.



8. Psycho
Like Burton, what is Halloween without some Hitchcock? Psycho is the obvious choice, but there is so many to choose from, Rear Window or The Birds serve as worthy substitutes. But I would say, the shower scene in Psycho is the most famous scene in film history.



7. Universal Monster Movies
Dracula, Frankenstein, Wolfman, Creature From The Black Lagoon, The Mummy, take your pick. They're all good for some late night 2am viewing.



6. Ed Wood Trilogy
Bride Of The Monster, Plan 9 From Outer Space, Night Of The Ghouls
What's Halloween without some cheesy black and white sci fi? And who better than the master of cheese, Edward D. Wood Jr.



5. Monster House
For some strange reason, I held out on watching this for a long time. It wasn't until just recently when I had a coupon for a free Blu Ray rental that I snagged this and I really enjoyed it. It had a very Goosebumps type vibe to it which I dig.



4. Ernest Scared Stupid
Probably the only list in the world where an Ernest movie is rated higher than an Alfred Hitchcock movie, but hey this is a list for shit to watch on Halloween, and this is a movie that takes place on Halloween and is all about Halloween. I am actually watching this movie as I type this article up, seriously.



3. The Nightmare Before Christmas
I know what you're probably thinking, "I thought Tim Burton was already on this list?" Well here is a little known sad fact, Tim Burton did not direct The Nightmare Before Christmas, Henry Selick did. I get kinda annoyed everytime I see Tim Burton talking about this, especially on the Blu Ray, and Henry Selick is MIA. Henry gets no props, no respect, when he is really the man behind this movie, not Tim Burton. Sorry to crush your hearts emo and goth kids.



2. It's The Great Pumpkin Charlie Brown
This is on TV sometime this week, I think Wednesday night. Not too sure, I have the DVD so I really don't pay too much attention to the TV listings, but search around and you will find it. It is a MUST watch for Halloween time.



1. Hocus Pocus
A classic. That's right. Hocus Pocus is a classic Halloween time movie. I saw it in theaters, I own the DVD, and every year, even though I own the DVD, I still catch it on TV a couple times on ABC Family. Which is why Hocus Pocus is to Halloween what A Christmas Story is to Christmas. Plus Sarah Jessica Parker is really hot in this movie.



What The Fuck?

Yeah, strange title for an article huh? Yeah well, read on for the news on two new movies coming out and you will say those exact words...

Zac Efron is going to star in a remake of Footloose....

The Jonas Brothers are going to star in the new Farrelly brothers movies about a farting dog.... which was written by the minds behind Daddy Day Camp and Evan Almighty....

Seriously.

This is happening in our world.

Friday, October 24, 2008

Lindsay Lohan Always Wears Underwear Now

Rumors have been swirling that Lindsay Lohan's acting career is pretty much over. The latest incident is her rumored firing ( or early departure) from the show "Ugly Betty." Apparently her 6 episode guest starring arc was shortened to 4 eps after her diva-ish behavior and feud with series star America Ferrera.

Supposedly there was a scene where Li Ho's character was supposed to depants "Betty," but America turned the tables on Lohan- who wasn't wearing any underwear ( surprise) and was embarrassed.

According to Page Six, One of Lindsay's friend's said "Bull [bleep]! Lindsay wears underwear all the time now."

A Big Black Obama Supporter Did NOT Carve a B in This Bitch's Face


B is for Bitchass Loser. When this story broke yesterday it was definitely some suspicious shit. Supposedly this 20 year old girl was robbed at ATM and the robber ( an Obama supporter- they are all thugs and terrorists, you know) became enraged when he saw the McCain sticker on her car. This lady was a McCain campaign worker, BTW. The Obama supporter, a scary 6'4 black man, carved a B into the bitch's face.

WTF? The first thing I thought was the lady was a liar. But, you really never know. It IS possible someone would do something like that. There are a lot of violent people out there, and well, people tend to believe a young lady who appears to have been mugged. I also thought, where is the surveillance footage?

I wakeup today and go to Drudge- Headline says "She Made it Up." Apparently her story had a lot of inconsistencies, and she finally admitted she made the whole thing up.

Guess what lady? This is NOT going to help McCain. This was a stunt by some individual with severe problems who hoped to capitalize on the uncertain fear and racist feelings that some people hold for Obama. Playing on these fears for sympathy was this young white lady who was attacked by this big scary black man. This incident does not make Obama supporters look like violent thugs. It makes mcCain supporters look like crazy white bitches that are so desperate they make shit up to play on people's fears. Pathetic losing liars.

Thursday, October 23, 2008

Opie, Andy, Richie, and The Fonz all want you to vote for Obama!

See more Ron Howard videos at Funny or Die


Friday The 13th Teaser Trailer

Looks alright. It's produced by Michael Bay, and directed by Marcus Nispel. Both behind the Texas Chainsaw remake, which was ok. It wasn't great, but it didn't suck shit, the sequel to that sucked shit.

This isn't a remake though, but it isn't a sequel. I think they said this takes place somewhere in the middle? Yeah stupid but hey whatever. It's Jason, and he's running around with his machete again, so I am happy.

Friday The 13th


Wednesday, October 22, 2008

Dimension To Release 18 Horror Movies In 2009?!

Fitting for Halloween coming up in just over a week that Dimension has announced a shit ton of direct to DVD sequels, in the mix are Pulse 2, more Feast movies, Children Of The Corn 8, more sequels to the upcoming Piranha 3-D and the strangest announcement being that after the upcoming Halloween "2", which is a sequel to Rob Zombies version, we will get even more Halloweens, all going direct to DVD? Yeah, confused I am. I still see Halloween as a big enough name with Michael Myers a big enough character to still hit theaters. But hey, this is Rob Zombies Halloween sequels with Rob Zombies trailer trash douche bag version of Michael Myers, so whatever. Bring back the story from the REAL Michael Myers.... such as....

Why not make the next Halloween not be a sequel, but not be a remake. There is a comic book that just came out, a 3 issue book called Halloween: The First Death Of Laurie Strode. I picked up the first issue last night and it's pretty fantastic. What is the story you ask? The comic book takes place 1 week after Michael Myers was burned up in the hospital fire. Laurie Strode is at her friend Annies funeral, and after the hospital fire, Myers body was never found. So why not give the fans what they all really want? A REAL HALLOWEEN 3!!!!!!!!!!!! With John Carpenters Michael Myers handling business. Thanks.

Good Morning, here are some Transformers 2 Spoilers for breakfast.

Edited by: RandomVillain

Originally removed by: GC

Why?

Blog:
Definition: an online diary; a personal chronological log of thoughts published on a Web page.

Long ago I stated we would not be posting ANY Transformers 2 news. Michael Bay and Dreamworks have announced they would purposely be leaking out FALSE rumors and tidbits on the movie to throw fans and news sites off. Because of that, we would not be posting any type of Transformers news until a real teaser trailer was released.

Earlier today a writer who has returned from a hiatus copied and pasted a Transformers 2 article from another site. To that site we apologize. Even though he took out a word here, and a word there and replaced them with curse words, (taking out buttload, and replacing it with shitload) we feel it is STILL directly ripping off another writers work, and have removed the news item.

We are not rewriting the news item for reasons above, no Transformers 2 news. So why this instead? Well sometimes I will go to a site, see a news story, then go back later to show someone else and that news item, or I will see a news item and not have the time to read it so I will come back later, and that news item is gone from the site, with no reason why. So I felt there should be a reason why it was removed. So to those people, sorry again. Blame Devon and his supreme and educated writing abilities. Who is a professional and serious writer as we have been told many times by him. Maybe next time, personal thoughts on a new story will be posted, like I, RandomVillain, do.


And here is a hot picture of some chick to make up for no Transformers 2 news.


Also in a DevonLohan.com FIRST. Devon has not quit the blog again. He has been removed/fired from the blog. He has been told time, and time, and time again NOT to copy and paste other sites news stories. We have received many cease and desist emails from all over, even USA Today, about crap Devon has copied and pasted. We refuse to have this blog shut down, and blogger accounts suspended due to this. Devon asked to come back, we gave the thumbs up, first blog back he copies and pastes someone elses work, so he is removed from the site.

Monday, October 20, 2008

Goodbye Backdraft Attraction At Universal Studios....


HELLO TRANSFORMERS RIDE!!!

At one end, I am conflicted. I really enjoyed the Backdraft attraction and I have fond memories of me and my sister riding the Jurassic Park ride, getting soaked and freezing our asses off then running into Backdraft to have the room set on fire and warm up, then running back to Jurassic Park again.

But then again, I fucking LOVE TRANSFORMERS.

With that, in 2011 at Universal Studios Hollywood. Michael Bay and Universal will bring us a ride which will mix 3-D with HD visuals and all kinds of madness and put us right in the middle of a battle between Decepticons and Autobots!

Hopefully this is better than The Mummy Ride because that ride fuckin BLOWS.

Target Is A Big Red Target Fuck Face!

So my wife has worked for Target for 2 years. She works in the photo section and as a cashier sometimes.

She is now 8 months pregnant and it's getting a little harder for her to work a full day. She normally works a 6 hour day. And is on her feet all day.

Well Saturday her shift was to be from 2:30pm till 9:00pm, they called her at 10 in the morning to ask if she could come in. So she would have to work an 11 hour day on her feet. She told them there was no way she could do that, she can barely handle standing for 6 hours there wasnt any way she could pull an 11 hour day.

So Target took this as since she cant work an 11 hour day, she should work hardly any days and cut her hours from her normal 30 hour work week, to a 15 hour work week. Thus also screwing us on handling our bills. That's right. Target has decided to punish a pregnant woman for not being able to handle working an 11 hour day on her feet.

Target.......

That is not very nice.


Half Rock Band 2 Review

Half Rock Band 2 review? Yeah. Basically I didn't buy the big bundle thing, I only got the game itself. And used the guitar.

So here it is in short, the graphics and character creator to me at least, are about the same as RB1. But the set up for the songs and game play are much MUCH better. In RB1 if you started a career with a friend, and your friend went home but you wanted to keep playing you had to start a 1 player career. Now you can go solo with your band or with your friend whenever you want. Also now you can choose to play whatever instrument you want instead of making new profiles. Everything you hated about RB1 has been taken out, or fixed and made much easier.

This is just one big list of newer games to play. With RB1 they released a patch where you could export all the songs off RB1 and they will be playable in RB2, that way you don't have to switch out game disks back and forth. And you can sell your RB1. The only thing I don't like about this, is when you are in your tour and you select a 3 or 4 song setlist for a special promotion or a mystery setlist, you will sometimes end up playing all 3 or 4 songs from RB1, so you feel like you just paid money to end up playing the first game all over again. Also one thing I don't like is everyone plays this game to unlock all the songs, and it's kinda hard to find the songs you unlocked. But these are the only two complaints. This is a big improvement from the last game.

Now if you are wondering why I didn't snag the bundle which included the drums and guitars and microphone it's pretty simple. Guitar Hero World Tour is also coming out with a bundle. And the instruments from RB1 and Guitar Hero 3 are universal. So each games instruments work for the other. I feared buying the RB2 bundle only to find out the drums in Guitar Hero were far better. So I held out and am waiting until everything is out and set up at Best Buy to test drive before I splurge some cash I don't have to pick up a set of drums.

If you liked RB1, you will be very happy with RB2. It's pretty simple.

Thursday, October 16, 2008

Devon Wants To Come Back......

I just received this in my email. It is from Devon.

At what point do I come back?

My self-imposed hiatus has gone on long enough. I'm bored.

I've been toying around with ideas of coming back in more of a character form, still writing like always, but playing up the character in the comment threads. Building on the feud with Random Villain.

I'm not talking about Devon vs. Tony. I'm not interested in that. I'm not interested in having my personal life as a subject in said feud.

Instead, I'm suggesting a make-believe (if you will) feud between the characters of Devon Lohan and Random Villain.



I dunno. Any thoughts?

In which I responded with this email....

You can come back whenever you want, I don't care. You were the one that quit. And the last thing about your personal life stuff was your idea remember? You threw down a challenge, then you go caught posting as anonymous and went insane and left. If youre bored and you wanna come back and write, fine with me, I dont care.

As for a character that you would come back under, thats stupid. This obsession about BEING Devon Lohan is old. I think this whole I WANNA COME BACK AND WRITE AS A CHARACTER AND WORK ON A GIMMICK AND A FEUD thing is really you saying "I wanna come back and write but if I come back under my own name again everyone will make fun of me for quitting and coming back for the 22nd time so if I come back under a new character and name no one will know the difference."

If you wanna write, just come back and write. Don't be a baby about things when stuff blows up on you and you got busted posting as anonymous. Don't make stupid challenges that you won't win. And don't make up some stupid character to hide behind. Make your name, come back, write. Simple. I've tried to do a fake feud with you before and nothing ever came from it but a stupid video with a baby sleeping. There's no point in a fake feud with a make believe person, cause I'll end up just saying "guess what everyone, this make believe person is actually Devon he was too scared to come back under his own name and came back under this name to hide behind." Then feuds over, I win, you look stupid and quit again.

Theres no feuding, its you writing something stupid and I make fun of it then you throw a fit like a baby. If you acted like a grown man and laughed about it or whatever there would never be anything going on. You talk shit to me on there, did you ever see me get all pissy and quit 100 times? It has always been YOUR fault for what goes on on that site with you. You make it all happen. The readers love it, so I push it. It's an entertainment site, I do what I can to entertain. A fake feud is gay. There is no character of Random Villain. It's a username. How I am on there and the opinions I write about are how I really feel about things.

Like I said, if you wanna come back and write articles on the site, just come back on your own name and start writing.


Now I realize, maybe it shouldn't be up to me, maybe it should be up to the readers. Do YOU want to see Devon back here once again? Or do we just leave things as it is. True if he comes back, we will get more content flowing once again, but at the same time, who knows WHAT content we are gonna get. More copied and pasted crap? More pointless crap? Or some stuff that is actually useful. The choice is yours.

ONLY REGISTERED USERS OF BLOGGER CAN POST COMMENTS THAT WILL ACTUALLY MATTER. PEOPLE POSTING AS "ANONYMOUS" AND THAT OTHER BULLSHIT WILL NOT BE TAKEN SERIOUSLY AND YOUR OPINION WON'T MEAN JACK FUCK. (This is to avoid Devon and others posting 1000 times as anonymous saying BRING HIM BACK!!! And yes I know they can still do that if they register a bunch of names on blogger but that just means they have to go through the trouble of making all those names.)

Billy Bob Thornton Is An Ass Face!

So word comes out today that before David Duchovny hit rehab for sex addiction, him and Tea Leoni split up. Why? What does this have to do with Billy Bob being an ass face?

Tea Leoni was cheating on her husband, David Duchovny. With hack actor Billy Bob Thornton. Yeah, Billy Bob goes after mens wives. And he went after Hank Moodys wife this time. And you just don't fuckin do that. Not call Billy Bob, not cool.

What's wrong Billy Bob? Are you pissed your name is Billy Bob? Are you pissed that David Duchovny has one of the best shows in the history of TV and you have an ever growing list of shitty movie after shitty movie? Like The Alamo. Fucks sake. Go fuck yourself Billy Bob, I hope Hank Moody kicks your ass only like Hank Moody would.

Oh yeah, Tea Leoni sucks too she hasn't made a decent movie since Bad Boys.

Tuesday, October 14, 2008

Terrence Howard Out. Don Cheadle In! Iron Man 2 News!

Terrence Howard bitched and whined and wanted more money and more cuts on his end of the deal. Marvel said fuck you we can find another black guy. So they did, a better one. Terrence Howard who payed James Rhodey Rhodes in Iron Man has been replaced by Don Cheadle!

I really don't understand what the fuck Terrence was doing. Like he is going to be paid anything great to be in some other big summer blockbuster movie? Yeah, sure. Go back to makin shitty rapper pimp movies there guy. Don Cheadle owns your fuckin ass.

Monday, October 13, 2008

Review: Jack Brooks: Monster Slayer

This was a weird movie. Not that it didn't make any sense, just that it had the potential, but slipped.

The movie is about this guy, a plumber, Jack Brooks. Plumber by night, college student by day. He has major anger issues, has his entire life after a camping accident in the woods which left his sister and parents dead after being attacked by a troll. He grows up without a family in his tiny town, going day by day doing what he can to get by. Putting up with his annoying girlfriend, fixing leaky pipes in exchange for egg rolls, and all the while his professor is taken over by a demon of sorts.

All of that took me about 2 minutes to write. But it takes the movie about 1 hour and 10 minutes to describe and get to. We don't see any real mayhem begin until around the 1 hour and 10 minute mark. And no monster slaying goes down until around the 1 hour and 15 minute mark. And sadly, the movie is only about 1 hour and 25 minutes. So you really only get 10 minutes of what you came for.

Now I am all for character development, but that can be a tricky thing in horror movies. When I get a movie that reads, Jack Brooks: Monster Slayer, I expect to be watching a movie about a guy kicking some serious monster ass. I get that but it takes almost the whole movie to get there. Which is why it's weird. Because if a sequel does come out, it's all set to go. And a sequel will be exactly what I was hoping the first one would be. And yes there are talks of a sequel thankfully.

Despite it being full of no names besides Robert Englund, the acting is pretty decent. The gore is great. And there is NO CGI!!!!!!!! WEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!! The less CGI in horror movies the better. This movie pays homage to Ray Harryhausen, with the monster we see at the start of the film. The first thing I thought of was Sinbad when I saw it. Other than that, you can tell that Demons and The Evil Dead are a heavy influence on the makers of this movie. The demons running around causing havoc are very, Demons like. And of course, Jack Brooks is no Ash, but since we have no current Ash, Jack Brooks will do just fine.

Over time, this movie will grow on me. I have a feeling the sequel will be much better, which will make me enjoy this movie even more and I will end up with both on my DVD shelf. I recommend this movie, just be aware that this movie is purely set up for an ass kicking sequel we are sure to get.

7/10

#1 Reason Why Halloween 2008 Will Be The Worst Ever.

These fuckers are going to be EVERYWHERE this damn Halloween.

Halloween Video Spooky Time!

Every day, well almost every day, up until Halloween I shall post a little video for everyone to sit back and watch to get them in the mood for Halloween. And I think the video below, is a perfect way to start things off...



JCVD Trailer Is Here! Thats JCVD for... JEAN CLAUDE VAN DAMME!!

That's right, Van Dammage is back mother fucker. Of course it is a movie, about himself, in a self parody, where Van Damme is broke and his career has hit rock bottom, all the parts he wants keep going to Steven Seagal. so he decides to rob a bank. Seriously. I wish Van Damme would come back in some huge action movies, all the old school guys do it so much better than the shitty action stars we have today. Ice Cube? Brendan Fraiser? Fucks sake. If Van Damme was headlining The Mummy movies, they would be so much better. Could you imagine Van Damme as xXx?? Fuck. Yes!

Now watch this trailer and get happy. This movie comes out November 7th. I am gonna watch me some Sudden Death tonight!



Thursday, October 9, 2008

The World Is Stupid

You know what I don't understand?

The term... DRIVE IT LIKE YOU STOLE IT!!! Which is supposed to mean, drive crazy and speed and be a maniac, cause you stole it and you don't care! Cause you are fuckin radical!

When in reality, if I was to steal a car, the last thing I am gonna do is drive crazy, speed, and be a maniac. Why would I want to draw attention to myself when I just stole it? That makes zero god damned sense. Hey! I just stole this car now I am gonna jump curbs and run down telephone poles and go ape poop!!!!!! DRIVE IT LIKE YOU STOLE IT MAAAAAAAAAAAAN!!!

Also, if I stole something, it must mean I really wanted it, and plan to keep it, or sell it. So why the fuck would I wanna risk doing damage to something like that? It would fuck the value of selling it. And it would suck cause I had zero insurance on it, and no way of really getting insurance on it, so wouldn't be able to get it fixed, it would all have to come out of my pockets to fix it. So why would I romp the car that I just stole?

You know what, drive my balls like you stole them you catchphrase makin douche bags.

South Park: The China Problem

For the lame out there that didn't know. South Park started all new episodes last night. And ooooh boy. I think George Lucas gonna sue somebody. And it was great. Fucking great. The sub plot involved Stan, Kyle and everyone except Butters and Cartman who were off doing other business, trying to get over a major traumatic event in their lives. They saw a dear friend of theirs raped. Violently. That friend? Indiana Jones. They went to see The Kingdom of The Crystal Skull, and like most of us that went and saw it, a little bit of us died that day.

If you did not see the episode, you really need to. Click here. Thanks.

Get Some: A Special Message to McCain Obama and 45 million Americans

I'm tired of watching debates and commercials and hearing all the whining from people who want free this and free that, bailout this and bailout that. I'm tired of hearing about McCain's convoluted "health plan" and Obama's "healthcare as a right" ideals. While healthcare is far from the only issue, it is a hot button issue that drives otherwise rational people insane. People who otherwise believe in self sufficiency, markets, and individual rights become raving socialists when it comes to the medical industry.

Here is your reality check. Out of the 45 million Americans without "health care", around half ( yeah, man like 20 million) simply choose not to. Either they can easily afford insurance or they qualify for a government program.

When it comes to "getting some", no matter what it is you are trying to get, the first step is always going out there and trying to get it- and not sitting home crying in your pillow.

This will tell you how to Get Some, though the "some" in this case might not be the some you are looking to get. However, the same principles apply.



Tuesday, October 7, 2008

Review: The Midnight Meat Train

Based on a short story by horror legend Clive Barker, The Midnight Meat Train is about a young photographer trying to find those few shots that will make his career and launch him into being an iconic photographer. One night while following some hoodlums into the subway, he stumbles into much much more. And discovers that there is a killer on the subway. Same train, same time, every single night. And anyone left on the train, goes missing. No remains found, no trace of them anywhere.

This is a strange film, mainly because of its release. It got major buzz on every horror site, but when time came to release it, it went to... the dollar theater? No theatrical release, no direct to DVD. It went straight to the dollar theater. Strange. It still isn't on DVD. And it still isn't in theaters. I don't think it is at the dollar theater anymore either. The only place to find this bad boy is OnDemand on the FearNet channel. And it's free. As long as your cable company has OnDemand you are all set.

This is the best horror movie I have sat and watched since Behind The Mask: The Rise Of Leslie Vernon. The kills aren't smart, or inventive, just extremely brutal. Our unknown killer, who is played by the awesome Vinnie Jones. Basically just uses a giant hammer which looks like something Thor would have let Vinnie borrow, and he walks up and bashes the living shit out of peoples brains. Simple right? Ah but it is where the gore comes into play that makes these simple kills and surprise moments really great. Such as someone getting hit so hard in the back of the head that it makes one of their eyeballs pop out and fly at the screen. For any horror fan out there, the owner of that flying eyeball will please you all, he is also a legend in our little horror world.

The photographer, of course, decides to try and solve this mystery on his own. His camera stolen, and the detective he goes to not buying into his crap, he sets out to try and stop this madness himself, and don't worry, even though this plot sounds simple it is far from it. There is a major mystery surrounding all of this, and you don't find out any of the answers until the very end.

This movie is 100 times better than either Hostel movie. It is better than Saw 2, 3, 4 and 5. Even though I haven't seen 5, I know it can't be as good as Midnight Meat Train. I'd need to rewatch Saw, because Saw was pretty damn good.

So if you are wanting a great horror treat to quench your thirst for upcoming Halloween, this is the one.

8/10

An original sitcom! Coming to DevonLohan.com!!

Where are all the news stories? The blogs? Why is the site lacking? Well I, Random Villain, really the lone writer on this blog, is a very busy bee. For you. I am in brainstorms and pre production on a sitcom that will be brought to you fine people, right here on DevonLohan.com.

It is a comedy, about a chupacabra, trying to live a normal life in the city. That's right, El Chupacabra. Living in the big city. Trying to make a living for himself. I am the brains behind the camera while some real actors will take the stage and bring to you a lil comedy for your viewing pleasure. We don't have an official title as of yet, I was leaning for Everybody Loves Chupa. But we will see what comes together.

Stay tuned, it is coming. As well as an all new RVTV.

As for the lack of news stories, anyone wanna be a writer then step up and say so, well hire you.

To show proof of this show, here is a couple images of the star of the show.



Saturday, October 4, 2008

Naked Gina Carano Strips Nude, Drops Towel, Boob?

I don't really follow this stuff, because I think it's stupid but apparently there is some fighting show on CBS tonight. It's called EliteXC and is one of the 18 million useless MMA things out there. The main event has a dude who used to be a bodyguard for a "reality porno" production company and has been in a lot of internet porn clips. He is going against a dude I think I remember hearing about 10 years ago. Sounds exciting.

But what's more exciting for some people is there is some lady fighter, some broad named Gina Carano. Since she is remotely attractive, a lot of MMA fans probably sit at home whacking to her, hoping she does Playboy. If you are a chick and do anything resembling fighting, whether it's fake wrestling, valet, being a Knockout, whatever- or hell even if you drive a race car- a lot of guys will beatoff to images of your glistening body. And you don't even have to be really hot, a 6 or 7 will do.

Yeah, so if there is any chick right now that guys want to see fight it's this Gina Carano chick. Apparently she has a lot of trouble making weight.

I am seeing pics and videos online about this story now. Apparently Gina Carano Stripped Nude to make weight. She took clothes off while her dad and some other dudes, maybe some other relatives, held towels up to preserve her modesty. Kimbo Slice gets a porno entourage and Gina Carano has her dad cover her boobs up. Cool.

Thursday, October 2, 2008

Don't Vote. Fuck it. Who Cares?

So this video has shit loads of celebrities in it, telling you not to vote. But see, they're really doing reverse psychology. That shit works, I know I used it Devon here tons of times.

Anyways, my favorite thing about this video is 99% are celebrities doing the DONT VOTE, FUCK IT WHY BOTHER? WHO CARES ABOUT THE ECONOMY AND GLOBAL WARMING thing, trying to trick you. While the other 1%.... is Jonah Hill. Who probably really doesn't give a shit, and really did play Halo 2 on drugs.



And anyone else agree that Dustin Hoffman so fucked Julie after they shot this?

Little Mac Returns!! Punch Out Wii!!!!!!!!!

First... just take a look......Yes, yes indeed. Those are indeed screenshots from Punch Out Wii. Yes, you are allowed to flip the fuck out.

What? I can't hear you.... you want video?












The Halloween Countdown: The Evil Dead, Behind The Mask, The Monster Squad

Ah October. The grandest month of them all. It is the start of weather cooling down here, even though were still in the damn triple digits. As well as the start of the major holidays. My 2nd favorite holiday being Halloween.

So here at my work, I watch movies all day while workin, and I figured that every day I am at work this entire month, I will watch only horror. Or something related to it. And share the films/shows that I pop in. For those wanting some good movies to show at your Halloween parties, this may help you out.

Yesterday I dropped the ball, I left my house, driving to work, realizing I had forgot what to bring, but thankfully here at work in my trusty desk drawer I had The Adventures Of Pete And Pete. So I popped in the episode, Halloweenie. That kicked things off. But today, things go into high gear.

The Evil Dead
I am in the middle of watching this right now. I thought it would be appropriate to start off with this movie since this is the one that started it all for me. Before I watched Halloween, or Friday The 13th, or Nightmare On Elm St. I had seen this movie. It is the first horror movie that I can remember ever watching. My brother had sat me down one night as a kid to watch this. And of course, I was hooked. It was the start of the phenomenon known as Bruce Campbell as well, who has now become the King of cult horror. Which is funny because if you think about it, outside of The Evil Dead movies. He really hasn't done anything good. Most of his movies were something that would be a SciFi Channel original movie. But damnit, we all still love the guy. And hope someday we will see Ash return.



Behind The Mask: The Rise Of Leslie Vernon
This was by far my favorite movie of last year. Ever since The Evil Dead, I was sucked in and hooked on horror. And being a huge fan of horror almost my entire life, I was let down lately over the pas few years by the shitfests that had been released. There has been 1, maybe 2 good horror movies coming out every year, with everything else being huge letdowns. It was nice to see a movie that was a breath of fresh air. A movie about a guy like you and me, who wanted to be the next big mass murderer and follow in the footsteps of his heroes, Michael, Freddy, and Jason. See in the world that Behind The Mask is set in, Jason Michael and Freddy are real. And Leslie wants his name up there with those guys. So he hires a film crew to document this and show his arrival to the world, and his training. Such as how hard he has to train to make it look like he's just walking when everyone else is running their asses off.



The Monster Squad
If you are over the age of 20, and have never watched The Monster Squad, and do not know of its awesomeness, then I have no use for you in this world. And you will forever be known as, a homo. The Monster Squad is the Goonies of horror movies. A tale of a group of kids, thrown into hell when Frankenstein, Wolf Man, Dracula, The Mummy, and The Creature all arrive in their small little town. This movie was made in the 80s, back when America wasn't such a giant baby and everyone wasn't bitching and crying over every little thing. This was back when movies had kids that talked like real kids. I don't even know how many times kids call each other faggots in The Monster Squad. Now days if a kid said faggot in the movie, R rating, protests, and all hell breaking loose with parents. God todays world is lame. If you want to cure your homo problems, then I suppose I can let you off the hook if you go out and rent/buy this movie immediately. If not, well then go away, don't like you anymore.



The Monster Squad Fun Fact: Uncle Rico from Napoleon Dynamite plays the Wolf Man.

War Machine in Iron Man 2!

Jon Favreau was on Howard Stern this morning talking about the new Iron Man DVD when Howard asked him about Iron Man 2 and what the plans were. I don't remember the exact quote Jon used, but he all but 100% confirmed the appearance of War Machine in the next Iron Man movie. Which of course would be played by Terrence Howard.

Since Obadiah died at the end of Iron Man, sorry, spoiler, but fuck you you shoulda already seen this movie, the plot of Tony Stark relapsing into alcoholism after Obadiah takes over Stark Industries might be out. Maybe Stark loses the company to the board of directors or someone else? Thus causing him to relapse and Rhodes then taking over the Iron Man suit? We will have to wait and see.

My guess, for the plot is that, much like the comics, Rhodey uses the suit meant for Stark but in doing so causes him to go into a manic state leaving Stark to build a new suit to take Rhodey down. Leaving the two to reconcile and team up to take out............ The Mandarin. Who was confirmed long ago by Favreau to be the films main villain.

Wednesday, October 1, 2008

Devon Returns! Form Of... A Douche!!!

Well since "anonymous" has been craving and needing Devon blogs so incredibly bad. I stopped by the MySpace of Devon to see what he had to offer and what do ya know! Devon copied and pasted some shitty song lyrics into a blog! Yeah, cause, every straight guy, posts blogs that are song lyrics to shitty music......

You wanted the best, you got the best. A Devon Blog For Anonymous.

Current mood: hopeful

These hammers and strings
Been following me around
From a box filled garage
To the dark punk rock clubs
Of 1000 American crowds
And my friend calls me up
She says, "how have you been?"
I say, "dear I've been well,
Yeah the money's coming
But I miss you like hell.
I still hear you in this
Old piano, oh yeah."
She says, "Honey, I know
That we don't talk as much
But I still hear your ghost
In these old punk rock clubs
Come on, write me a song
Give me something to trust
Just promise you won't let it be
Just the keys that you touch."

Give me something to believe in,
A breath from the breathing
So write it down,
I don't think that I'll close my eyes
'Cause lately I'm not dreaming
So what's the point in sleeping?
It's just that at night,
I've got nowhere to hide
So I write you a lullaby
A lullaby

These hammers and strings
Been following me around
Behind passenger vans
Through the snow, dirt, and sands
Of 1000 American towns
And my friend calls me up
With her heart heavy still
She says, "Honey, the doctors
Prescribed me the pills.
But I know I'm not crazy.
I just lost my will.
So why am I, why am I
Taking them still?"

I need something to believe in
A breath from the breathing
So write it down,
I don't think that I'll close my eyes
'Cause lately I'm not dreaming
So what's the point in sleeping?
It's just that at night,
I've got nowhere to hide

To the sleepless, this is my reply:
I will write you a lullaby,
A lullaby.

Give me something to believe in,
So write it down,
I don't think that I'll close my eyes
'Cause lately I'm not dreaming
So what's the point in sleeping?
It's just that at night,
I've got nowhere to hide

To the speepless, this is my reply:
I'll write you a lullaby
A lullaby, a lullaby, a lullaby


There ya go folks. That is what you wanted. And that is what you have been missing. Devon at his copying and pasting pointless shit best! Also don't ask me what speepless is I have no idea.

Till next time. This is Random Villain saying, don't eat poop!