Thursday, May 14, 2009

We Are Moving

Pack your things kids, we are headed out of this joint. I mean this place, not weed Devon. Calm down.

So while making little blogs, we tend to wanna make a little money on the side, that requires search engine results, ads, and all kinds of goods that are fucked now on this site.

So with that, we are basically starting over on a new site, new blog, similar look, just no more pink. And a new name.

The site is still very much under construction, but by tomorrow everything should be cleaned up and fixed up on there.

So, if you are wondering what the new blog site is called, we took our cue from what you fine readers and one former writer love to think of us as...

A bunch of jerks.

Like I said, it is still very much under construction. So relax.

Wednesday, May 13, 2009

Classic Devon Blogs: He'll Contact His Attorneys

Oh man, this was a good one. Yet another time when Devon stormed off and quit. See we had his face as icons on our message board, and he then said if they were not removed, he would be contacting his ATTORNEYS. Oy vey.

You know what bringing all these old blogs back reminds me of? The episodes of Saved By The Bell, when Zack would sit on the stool and tell us about the good ol days and what were about to watch.

Dearly Departed, We are gathered here today, to bid farewell, to this roody poo, candy ass. Devon was a whiney little bitch, he posted, random blogs about, Kevin Costner, Rosie O Donnell, and his friends crappy short films. He claimed shit was his own, even though we thought of it first. He was against posting smut, until I created the NSFW forum and was bringing in hits, he jumped and grabbed onto my coat tails and started posting "smut". And well, he tried to deny all this but, you can not hide from the truth. Facts hurt, truths hurt, and for the 47th time since this blog has been opened, Devon has "quit". See Poor ol Devon would get mad cause I would make fun of his double chins, he would send messages to the other members of this blog crying and complaining about me. No one would care. So as usual, he would quit, cry, take down images, run away, cut, drink wine, listen to shitty emo music. Then come back the next day.

Well this was mostly seen by other members last night, as I was MIA playing in GameSpot tournament for PS3, which I will post about later, as a warning to all to never do a tournament for these retards. But last night the entire blog shut down. Blogger had to restore all our blogs. Images were lost. The annoying part was a major ad company had finally picked up our blog yesterday. Our first night with said company, was lost due to SOMEONE deleting everything. Well all fingers point to someone, but I wont name who, but their name rhymes with Bevon. Devon, Bye you tubby tub of gooey goo. Smooches!


Devon and DMoney who runs the site, just had a little convo. Read on for some hilarious things, such as, Devon claiming his pink face on our message boards has somehow brought us money. Read on for a good chuckle.

Devon: Obviously I have no say over you keeping my name in your site, since it's with a different last name. But legally you're not entitled to use my image on your message board, especially not without my consent, since your message board is a subsidiary of your blog, which does turn a profit.
Devon: I'm parting ways clean. Dunno why I was deleted, or any of that shit... but whatever. Devon: I just want my face off your board.
DMoney: u werent deleted.....whatever u did deleted urself
DMoney: when i got the blog restored u were gone
DMoney: so dont come at me with shit
Devon: I didn't do anything. That's my point.
DMoney: then talk to gmail or blogger about it
DMoney: i didnt do a fuckin thing to take u off, u were gone......period
Devon: You and I weren't the only admins on that blog.
DMoney: on UWR?
DMoney: yeah we were
Devon: DL.
DMoney: well ALL the blogs u were on got deleted
Devon: either way, I'm over it.
DMoney: and someone cannot delete ur gmail
DMoney: or take your images off photobucket
Devon: Some dude who was about to do a link up with you is IMing me asking me to come write for him.
Devon: I took my images off after the fact.
DMoney: why? Guilty?
Devon: OF WHAT?! More like pissed off and betrayed.
DMoney: lmao.......for WHAT?
DMoney: MY blogs were deleted......I had to have google fix shit for me.......when it was back you were GONE
DMoney: period
Devon: like I said man, just take my fuckin face off your board, and we go our separate ways. Otherwise I'll take legal action. It's part of an income producing website, and you're using my image without consent. Period.
DMoney: my board doesnt make jack shit
DMoney: think b4 u speak
DMoney: i'll have obj look at everything
DMoney: you dont want to go there with us
Devon: right, but it's a subsidiary of your site.
DMoney: its linked to it, not a subsidary of shit
Devon: I know what I'm talking about. It's under the same name.
DMoney: it is? funny i read BOILER ROOM BOARD
Devon: Why the fuck would you want my face all over your board anyhow?!
DMoney: no one fuckin knows its you, its a pink fuckin face
DMoney: get over yourself
Devon: Because you all didn't have jack shit without my image to sell.
DMoney: your not a god damn celebrity cause a fuckin site has your FIRST NAME
DMoney: wow
DMoney: WHAT????
DMoney: your image sells shit for us? LMAO
DMoney: i'm sending that to RandomVillain and GC RIGHT away, EVERYone needs to know that
Devon: Go for it.
DMoney: good god, u've got MAJOR issues
Devon: I'll have my attorney contact Blogger and Proboards. Ciao.

Devon signed off at 2:22 P.M.

Oh that wacky Devon.

Tuesday, May 12, 2009

Classic Devon Blogs: The Survey

Here we will take a look back at

The Devon Blogs.

Blogs written about Devon, for Devon.

Since this site is in the shitter, I figured we should do a BEST OF... kinda thing. Here we go! Also this is a nice look back at exactly how many times Devon has "quit" or got so pissed and claimed hell never read or bother with this site again.

Tuesday, August 19, 2008
Wanna Know More About Devon?

I'm bored. Which only means, it's time to pick on Devon. Devon posted one of those damn MySpace surveys in it he talks about, ah fuck it I'll just post it, WORD FOR WORD UNALTERED so you can see for yourself.... Proof of gayness are in bold......

Have you ever kissed someone whose name started with a R?
Not that I can think of. But you never know, since I am a huge whore.

Have you ever been with someone longer than a year?
Yes, and thankfully the lease was up.

Who was the last person you talked to on the phone?
On the phone... hmm... Nichol I think. I don't remember talking to anyone else after I talked to her and when the phone rings here it's usually my roommate's wardens [parents], so I don't answer anyway.

Whose bed did you sleep in last night?

Have you kissed anyone in the last week?

Do you miss anyone?
I miss a bunch of people, particularly of the Arkansas variety.

What are you doing tomorrow?
I think we're planning to go to the movies, cuz it's 5 bucks all day, and we can get caught up on what we've missed.

Do you like to cuddle?
Oh sure. Unless it's really hot, cuz then I only want to cuddle with a fan.

Whats your hair look like today?
At the moment, it's bed-head. One side is sticking all up, and the other is all matted down with pillow imprint.

Do you have a dog?
Nope, I have a cat. I'm totally that guy.

When was the last time you talked to one of your siblings?

Have you ever thought you liked someone, and then found out that you really didn't?
I thought I was in love with someone, and then as soon as I got out in the world and met people, I realized how much I didn't.

Will you be in a relationship 4 months from now?
We'll see.

Do you fall for people easily?
Nope. Well... I befriend people easily. I don't love people easily.

Does the last person of the opposite sex you shared a bed with mean anything to you?
Sure. We're friends.

Who do you blame for your bad mood today?
I'm not in a bad mood yet. Notice how I said yet. Heh.

What was the first thing you did this morning?
Turned the air up cuz it was freezing in this bitch.

Today, would you rather go back a week or go forward a week?
Neither, I'm on vacation, and either direction would take me off vacation.

Do you like someone?
I guess you could say that.

Have you ever had a surprise birthday party?
Nope. I'm way too much of a control freak to not be in on the planning of my own party .... unless it was held at a swank banquet room or something. In which case, plan away.

Are your parents in love?
My parents haven't even spoke in years.

Where are you right now?
At my computer desk.

Do you think you have made a difference in anyone's life?
I do. I try to. Even if it's minute.

Who is your last text message from?

What are your plans for Saturday?
I don't know yet.Any takers?

Do you like your life?
It's okay.

Can you handle the truth?
No, I don't want to install your truth box application.

Last person you were in the car with besides your family?

If you're being extremely quiet, what's it mean?
I am PISSED and trying not to say things you will regret making me say.

Last beverage?

Do you think you're a good person?
Eh, I have my moments of clarity.

If someone were to tell you they like you right now, would you care?

Do you still talk to the first person you fell hard for?
Yes, actually. Years later though.

Do you have a best friend?
I do, she's sleeping like a hibernating bear right now though.I should go do something horrible and film it *LIGHT BULB*

Do you remember what you were like a year ago?
I was more or less the same I was now, but probably not as fat.

Who was the last person you cried in front of?
Um, probably my roommate.

Where are you right now, and how do you feel about where you are?
I'm at home and I feel good about that. It's nice to have my own place, with no worries.

What are you listening to?
My new neighbors STILL moving in to the apartment upstairs. Sounds like goddamn Minotaurs moved in.

Who was the last person to call you beautiful/gorgeous?
Lisa. She always calls me beautiful.She's so full of shit!

Ever have a sleepover with the opposite sex?

Where did your last hug take place?
Um, probably at work on Friday leaving before my vacation.

Last place you took a plane to?
Arkansas, but I flew in to Tulsa, OK.

How do you feel about the person who texted you last?
She's spectacular.

Who was the last person you went out to eat with?

Do you have unlimited texting?
I have 2000 texts, which is more than enough.

How old will you be in 13 months?

Do you wear glasses?

What is your favorite Beatles song?
Eleanor Rigby if I have to pick just one. Otherwise I could list like 10 more.

Last thing you bought?
A catnip toy for my little puss-puss, cuz she got her vag nipped yesterday.

If someone looked on your bed, what would they find?
A mess of blankets and sheets and pillows. I tossed and turned like a mug last night.

What would someone find UNDER your bed?
Empty shoeboxes that I think will come in handy as soon as I decide what to put in them.... maybe I'll find a turtle.

Who will you see the most this weekend besides family?
My roommate.

What is the last movie you watched?
ummmm.... High School Musical 2. Yeah..........

Do you drink tea?
All the time.

Who taught you how to ride a bike?
Here's the thing, I grew up on a hill.

Have you ever blacked out at a party?
Party -no. Sarah Hughes concert - yes.Hello iPod!

Who do you trust most in your life?

What's the number one thing in your life right now?
Probably my job.

What were you doing at 11 AM?
[Yesterday] I was at Bed, Bath, & Beyond pricing knives.

Have you ever made out on a couch?
Oh sure.

When is the last time you cried?
You ask too many questions about crying. Men don't cry, we leak at the eyes.

Are you scared of spiders?

Have you ever been on a horse?
No, that would not be fair to the horse.

Is it cute when a boy calls you baby?
Um... no.

What's irritating you right now?
I'm out milk, and I really want a bowl of Corn Pops.

What's the taste in your mouth?
Morning Breath.

Do you like feet?
Only my own. Keep yours away from me.

Who was your last IM from?

What type of music could this world live without?
I was going to say Polka, but when you think about it, and listen to Polka, it's actually entertaining. So.... not polka. Maybe Christian Rock. What an anomaly that is. Weirds me out to the nth degree.

Have you ever waxed your eyebrows?
Hah, twice. That shit hurtsssssssssss.

Do you think professional sports players are over paid?

Are you worried about anyone right now?
Yeah, I am. I'm trying to be here for her though, cuz I know she needs a rock, and I'm pretty solid.

Do you snort when you laugh?
I have to laugh reallllllllllly hard.

How many people are on your myspace friends list?
Like 170+

What was the last website you visited other than myspace?
my email.

What friend haven't you seen in a while that you'd like to see?
Cole. Pestering him for drinks out.

When is the next time you'll kiss someone?
I dunno. We'll see.

When was the last time you were in a car and where did you go?
Last night, out to dinner.

Name three things around you:
Printer, router, fan.

Who can you go to anytime of the day for anything no matter what?
My bfff. Best fucking friends forever.

Are any of your pets overweight?
Dude, she's got a pot belly. Total pig. Always tries to steal our tacos.

Have you ever kissed someone who's name starts with a C?

Who was the last girl you talked to?
Heather I guess, before we went to our rooms.

And just for shit's and giggles, here are some childhood Halloween pictures.

Here is me on Halloween.

Here is Devon on Halloween......

And until Devovision Episode 1 comes.... I will post a blog about Devon, once a day. Maybe twice..... maybe thrice!!!

The last movie I watched....

The last movie Devon watched....


Anonymous said...

OK I admit I usually stand up for the kid, but I no longer can. Any supposed STRAIGHT guy that has a "BFF" and talks about his pussy wussy, then broadcasts it for the world to see....can no longer be defended. I am sorry Devon, good luck with Devovision, I'll still watch.
August 19, 2008 4:32 PM
The Random Villain said...

No no, he has a BFFF! Not just a best friend forever, but a best FUCKIN FRIEND FOREVER!!!!!!!!!!!!
August 19, 2008 4:35 PM
Devon Lohan said...

Then you're gonna be posting a lot of videos. I'm done with all this shit.
August 19, 2008 4:55 PM
Anonymous said...

JUST when this site starts posting descent stories again, we get this crap taking up half the site again.....WE GET IT, Devon's in the closet...this dead horse has been beaten WAY too much.
August 19, 2008 4:56 PM
Devon Lohan said...

August 19, 2008 4:56 PM
The Random Villain said...

And with that, I direct you fucks here.....

That's right. I told you Devovision would never happen, and it won't! Devon tapped out!!!!!!!!!!



August 19, 2008 5:00 PM
Devon Lohan said...

Yeah. This guy just told me he's "in the air I breathe, the wind around me"...

Dude, you're seriously fucking warped. You post that shit out of context, then comment it yourself as anonymous. It's so fucking stupid.

Jesus fuck, grow up. No one actually finds this shit entertaining. Everyone knows it's YOU posting as anonymous and giving yourself kudos. It's so goddamn blatant.

You're a cancer. You're a disease. You've ruined and will continue to ruin this site, and the site owners are foolish to keep you around. You lost us adsense, you lose us readers, and now you're losing us/them a writer.

Grow the fuck up.
August 19, 2008 5:05 PM
The Random Villain said...

Post what out of context? Its word for word exactly what YOU posted.

And dude, seriously, I am not posting as anonymous so get over that mess already. I no longer need to do that, you take care of people insulting you on your own.

I've ruined this site? Let's take a look at the front page of the site.... oh 2 blogs from you... which are all full of false stories or rumors that proved FALSE.

Way to post FALSE news all over the site while I post REAL news. Brilliant move. Yeah owners! Fire the guy that posts real news and keep that guy that copies and pastes false rumors on here!

I thought you were done? What are you still doing here?
August 19, 2008 5:09 PM
The Random Villain said...

Wait are you saying Im a cancer and disease to the site???

::Walks in with Scott Hall and Kevin Nash::
August 19, 2008 5:17 PM
The Random Villain said...

"Things Devon is guaranteed to do when he throws a fit."

1. Remove you from his MySpace Friends list.

2. Block you on AIM.

3. Quit the site.

4. Accuse you of posting comments as anonymous.

5. Throw giant temper tantrum.

6. Comes back and continues writing for the site.

7. Unblocks you from AIM.

8. Adds you back to MySpace.
August 19, 2008 5:33 PM
phil said...

All I can say is for someone who loves to throw the "fag" word at Devon you (RV) sure do sweat his nuts a lot.......FAG!!
August 19, 2008 6:56 PM
The Random Villain said...

Raise your hand if you watched High School Musical 2....


Now you know what this blog is? What its called? Its called... fuel to the fire. What is Devon so pissy about? God only knows. Maybe its because now people know he calls his cat, puss puss... and watches High School Musical 2.... hey didnt he make fun of me for watching Disney movies too? I watch the classic Disney movies, Snow White, Sleeping Beauty, Robin Hood, mother fuckin SWORD IN THE STONE! Not... High School Musical 2.....

Anyways, this was supposed to be built more towards his big debut with Devovision... supposed to give him a bit more inspiration for his video! But of course, instead he yells YOU RUINED IT!!!!!!!!!!!! And ran off like a little kid, aaaaaaaasssssssssssss usual.

Oh well, all it did instead was further prove my point that Devovision IS NEVER HAPPENING!! BAAAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAAA!!!
August 19, 2008 7:02 PM
Anonymous said...

I dont understand why some people get so pissed off at these blogs. if you dont like what is posted, then dont read it. these are the same people that get angry at violence on tv instead of just changing the channel.

I think this entire thing is really made up by random villain and devon lohan for whatever devovision is gonna be.
August 19, 2008 7:07 PM
Devon Lohan said...

BFFF is a direct quote from Pineapple Express, btw.
August 19, 2008 7:13 PM
Anonymous said...

August 19, 2008 7:37 PM
Apollo Greed said...

Gimme fuel, gimme fire, gimme that which I desire.

The only reason I come here usually is for these type of posts, or to read the hilarious comments. And seriously, to all you dickwads that are STILL crying you pansy ass eyes out, how long has this been going on? If you haven't smartened up by now, you're all fucking retards. Complain all you want, and you still come back for more. THAT makes sense. Idiots.
August 21, 2008 4:38 PM
The Random Villain said...


Yeah. And the only reason I post shit like this is to watch everyone lose their god damn minds over it crying and bitching. Never fails.

August 21, 2008 5:07 PM

Saturday, May 9, 2009

Devon is gone again, this time for good.

Sorry Devon fans. I know you all love his blog posts but we have decided enough is enough. After recently threatening to quit again, we said, hey, we will help you out the fuckin door.

Telling me to be NICE to him or he won't post? HA. What the fuck ever. Last time Devon was gone, like almost every time, he sends us emails, asking us to let him back on. Well unfortunatley for you, he will not be back this time. Were grown men, we don't have time to baby some idiot and kiss his ass and be nice guys and give positive comments and shit, this isn't a fuckin self help group.

Again and again this happens. Devon gets negative comments on a blog he posts, and he loses his mind over it, like a little kid. So, fuck it. We have new writer. Johnny Aguilera will be replacing Devon as one of the top writers of this site. If you are sad and don't wanna read this site anymore now that Devon is no longer a member, bye.

Oh yeah, and as you noticed, I didn't refer to him as Devon Lohan, because his name is fucking Devon. Don't go from being all pissy in the beginning over us calling you Devon Lohan and threatening to sue us and shit for using your fat pink face then going and crying about it being your GIMMICK and shit. Yeah, its true, the first day that Johnny Aguilera showed up we got emails from him saying WHO IS THIS GUY AND WHY IS HE STEALING MY GIMMICK?!!? Give me a fucking break.

Go smoke pot and drink some jager, you know if you were still in high school you might be pretty cool, but guess what, you're a grown man. Grow the fuck up and act like it.

Friday, May 8, 2009

The Devon Lohan Review: Star Trek

So where do I start, because this one is epic... or at least the movie is epic, so epic that I'm not sure how to even put it in to words. I probably won't do my usual style of review, because I really don't want to give anything away. I just want to stress to you, rather you be a fan of Star Trek or not, that this movie is all kinds of awesome. It was the complete package, hands down. I don't have one single complaint, except that maybe there just wasn't enough Simon Pegg... but that's not even a big deal. He just took a bit to show up. This new-ish guy, Chris Pine, just solidified himself as a major movie star I think. He held up to the job and did a really superb job. He's absolutely believable as Kirk. Zach Quinto as Spock... holy shit. Zach Quinto is nuts. His Spock is nuts. I mean, in all reality, everyone in every role was fantastic. Simon Pegg was spot on Scotty, Anton Yelchin was great as Chekov, fucking John Cho was the shit as Sulu... but Karl Urban... that dude NAILED Dr. "Bones" McCoy. I mean.. every nuance and maneurism was SPOT ON. It was a lot of fun to watch! Eric Bana is pretty one dimensional, and his Nero isn't that dynamic, but he's a decent enough villain with a decent enough reason to be. Not many chicks in the movie, just Uhura, who doesn't serve too much of a purpose for the most part, she's here and there, but didn't feel all that integral to me. Her stuff with Spock could be I suppose. Solid cast though, hopefully they're all back for any sequels that will surely get made.

Saw the movie in IMAX, and I can't imagine seeing it any other way. You could literally feel the warp drive scenes, so suffice to say it was intense. The plot is really strong and consistent. I can't complain at all about any kind of continuity issues or plot holes. It's all done so masterfully, it's kind of funny to think that these are the same guys working on LOST and Fringe.

Maybe tomorrow I'll get up a full review, but I don't know that I can say much else other than this movie is a MUST SEE event for everyone, not just the Trekkies. I can't wait to see it again!

We Received An Email From Devon Lohan...

The other day, the writers here received an email from Devon Lohan. Here is what he had to say...

You may notice the influx of content this morning. I hope to try and keep up this pace. I have stepped down from running my e-fed and won't be using up my free PC time over there, so that I can dedicate myself more to the blog. Things have been going very well lately, and I'd like to keep that up.

Well, that morning we did see an INFLUX OF CONTENT, 3 blogs. That was an INFLUX OF CONTENT, 3 blogs. Wowza.

Since then, we have seen a startling number of blogs from him. 5.

So, if you wanna bitch about lack of content, or whatever, let Devon Lohan know that he is a failure. He hoped to keep up the pace of 3 blogs a day. And failed. Miserably. He dedicated more time to you readers, by posting 5 blogs. In 9 days.

Yes, things have been going well, but Devon Lohan attempted to make sure everyone had new blogs to read, and he failed you all. And he has not been seen on this site, in 4 days. But he has been on Twitter, letting the whole world know how stressed life can be,

Meanwhile, our new writer is proving quite interesting, and continues a steady pace of posting something new and different every night.

Keep up the good work Mr. Lohan. Mayor Of Failsville.

5 Rules Of Visting Disney Theme Parks

Here are the rules of what you should NOT do at Disney theme parks.

This is mostly brought upon by the Flash Mountain post below, because look, I like topless girls, but when it comes to being at Disneyland, that is not the time, or the place, for boobs. Not at all. So here is the rules.

NO BOOBS: Yep, I said it. Disneyland is a magical family friendly place, there is no reason, or need, to show your boobs to the rides cameras. Most of the time the picture gets "washed away" and no one ever sees it anyways. So don't do it. I know you are a huge slut and you just HAVE to flash your boobs at every camera you see, but don't do it at Disneyland, if you wanna do that shit go be trendy and hit Cancun or some fuckin shitty spring break lake. Sluts.

NO CUSSING: Yeah, guess what, most of us civilized adults, like to raise our children right. Now as you can tell from reading this site, I have a filthy fuckin mouth. But I also have a kid, and when I'm around him, I don't cuss. It's called being mature, civilized, responsible. So when I'm at Disneyland, and I hear some fuckin fuck cussing his ass off, I say some shit to him like HEY, DO YOU MIND THERE ARE KIDS AROUND. And if fuck face says YOU GOT A PROBLEM?! Then guess what, I will have a problem, cleaning the shit off of my shoe after pulling my foot out of the fuckers ass. I will throw down at a Disneyland to protect children from the harsh language of douche bags. Try me.

NO GANGSTER WANNABE FAGS: Yeah. None of that please. You have no interest in Disneyland, you just go and sit around and act like idiots and usually break the above rule and then I gotta deal with your hip hop ass. So just stay home, or go chill in front of a movie theater. Back in the 70s, Disneyland actually had a rule that if you were a guy with long hair, they wouldn't let you in. They should make this rule for mexican gangster wannabe fags now as well.

NO CRYING: Kids listen, I know you love to throw temper tantrums and shit, but you are at Disneyland, the most magical place on this planet earth, there is no reason what so ever you should be crying, and if you are crying, that might be because someone broke THE NUMBER 1 RULE.... which is...

NO YELLING AT YOUR KIDS: Listen parents. Realize where you are at. You have taken your children, to the one place in the world that every kid wants to go to. Of course theyre not gonna listen to you too well. Of course theyre gonna mark out and lose their minds over shit. Of course they will not behave properly because god damnit theyre at DISNEYLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAND!!!!!!!!!!!! If you yell at your kid, or drag them around by their arm screaming, see the no cussing rule, because I will stand up for that kid, and I will say some shit to you. Leave the kids alone, theyre at Disneyland, you should not be spitting out rules, and this and thats, just let them do their thing, and monitor the shit. If they start going into a place theyre not supposed to walk just tell them not to do that and guide them away. Dont act like some fat mom and say DAMNIT! YOURE NOT SUPPOSED TO GO THERE!!! And grab them by the arm and yank them away. Because I will kick you in the shin if I see that shit. Seriously. Theyre kids, at Disneyland, they dont give a fuck about anything but Disneyland. And if youre thinkin YEAH HAVE YOU EVER TAKEN KIDS TO DISNEYLAND AND HAD TO DEAL WITH IT?! Yes, I have, Ive been taking my nephews to Disneyland for years now, and I have never once had a problem with them. So parents, YOU are the ones who should behave, and make sure your kids have a blast at the LAND, or the WORLD.

Thursday, May 7, 2009

Ever Take a Ride On...Flash Mountain?

Apparently there's a "phenomenon" of sorts out there that's been going on for a while now, and it involves some classy women taking a Disneyland Trip, going on the famous "Splash Mountain" ride, then when it's drop time, they pull out their boobs and get a nice pic to remember the experience by. "Flash Mountain" is the name given for this act, and a website has even been dedicated to it. Disney is very aware of it, as it's been reported that they hired a special team just to watch for boobs on the ride, and make sure no inappropriate pics make it through, even though some have apparently slipped by. And they've even got a policy for people who gets stuck with some flashers on the ride and are stuck with unwanted boobs in their picture. The party can report the incident to a cast member, and they will be escorted to the front of the ride so they can ride again, boob free. Word has it that recent budget cuts have forced Disney to scale back on their flash watch team, so Flash Mountain could soon be back in full force. The bad part about this is, after viewing the site, it doesn't seem that there are any super model types taking part in the flashing. It's either some large women who otherwise wouldn't be asked by anyone for a boob shot, or else it's an unsuspecting wife or girlfriend who's man decided to pull her boobs out right at just the right moment. This whole idea isn't really fitting for a Disney theme park, and might be one of the only times I'd say boobs are inappropriate. Talk about the most family friendly place in the world, being brought down by some attention starved losers. Nothing better than taking your 6 year old on a dream vacation, only to see some 300 pounders boobs hanging out. The website is, which ensures that these peoples super cool prank has lead to their boobs being shown to millions on the net, and no doubt gaining much...respect...right?

I Want To See The Hangover. Here Is Why.

Oh, you gotta be older than 18 to watch this trailer, or be younger than 18 but smart enough not to enter your real date of birth.

Top 5 Funniest Movies Of All Time: #2 and #1

Well here we are, the final 2. So what is the second funniest movie of all time? Without a doubt...

Young Frankenstein

In the group of my sister, my dad, and my brother and myself, this is the most quoted movie of the household. I throw quotes from it to normal people, half of them don't get it. Especially when someone mentions Underworld, or Twilight, or some bullshit and they say werewolf, and I say there wolf.

The stand out of this movie has to be without a doubt the great Marty Feldman. Every line he utters in this movie is comedy gold. I could probably watch this movie 100 times and still find something new and funny in what he says or does.

Of course, the rest of the cast have brilliant moments as well, mostly from Gene Wilder, Peter Boyle, and Cloris Leachman. It is really hard for me to give this movie #2. But the funniest movie of all time barely, just barely edges it out. I recently rewatched this movie the other day after buying it on Blu Ray, and still laughed my damn ass off.

Interesting Young Frankentstein tidbits:

Rock band Aerosmith took a break from a long night of recording to see "Young Frankenstein" in 1974. Steven Tyler wrote the band's hit "Walk This Way" the morning after seeing the movie, inspired by Marty Feldman's first scene, the "walk this way... this way" scene.

The film was shot with many of the same props and lab equipment as the original Frankenstein (1931).

The skulls that Freddy and Inga find under the castle were real skulls.

The shifting hump on Igor's back was an ad-libbed gag of Marty Feldman's. He had surreptitiously been shifting the hump back and forth for several days when cast members finally noticed. It was then added to the script.

And with that, it brings us to...


Which, earlier this week, I had already mentioned what it was, which is....


With Young Frankenstein, it is quoted quite often between my sister and I... but Blazing Saddles is quoted constantly by everyone I know.

When my nephew is sitting around, and he gets a text message on his phone, his ringtone for it is... "Where all the white women at?"

I remember in my early teens, my Dad having me sit and watch two movies with him. One being It's A Mad Mad Mad Mad World, and Blazing Saddles. I didn't really get most of the jokes at the time, being only around 13 years old, but now that I understand them, I still find something new with every viewing.

Like I mentioned earlier this week, Dom DeLuise has my favorite scene in the movie, with his character of Buddy Bizarre. I wish Mel Brooks would make one last comedy. His most recent ones were pretty dull. Dracula Dead And Loving It I have never managed to get through in its entirety, I give up half way through. Robin Hood was probably his last good comedy. But thats fine, because to me, the man made the two funniest movies, of all time.

Blazing Saddles - The funniest movie is here. Find it

Interesting Blazing Saddles tidbits:

Richard Pryor came up with the character "Mongo".

One day in the Warner Bros. studio commissary, Mel Brooks and the other writers were seated at a table opposite John Wayne ("the Duke"). The Duke turned and said he had heard about their Western, the one where people say stuff like "blow it out your ass". Mel handed the Duke a copy of the script and said, "Yes, and we'd like you to be in it." According to Brooks, the Duke turned down the offer the next day by saying, "Naw, I can't do a movie like that, but I'll be first in line to see it!"

A television spinoff series was originally proposed, but never aired. Called "Black Bart", it starred Louis Gossett Jr. (billed as "Lou Gossett") and Steve Landesberg. The show never aired, but the original pilot can be found on the 30th Anniversary Special Edition DVD.

Mel Brooks also asked Johnny Carson to play the Waco Kid; he refused.

Wednesday, May 6, 2009

Why Sucks #278

Click to Enlarge, duh.

Either we need a time machine and missed some shit, or we have a loooooooong wait.

Top 5 Funniest Movies Of All Time Countdown: #3

Sorry it has taken me awhile to get back to this. But blame this movie. #2 and #1 are already planned, but I had no idea what deserved the #3 spot. So in that case, here are a couple honorable mentions....

Shot In The Dark
The Jerk
Animal House
Top Secret
Naked Gun

All, great, great comedies, but there was just one that I always watched just a bit more than those that still gives me a few laughs.

Monty Python And The Holy Grail

As a kid on PBS they would sometimes show Flying Circus after Mr. Bean. And I would laugh my ass off and none of my friends could ever understand why, of course now that they are all older they understand, I guess I just understood shit better back then. I think it also had to do with the fact that I loved You Can't Do That On Television, and Flying Circus reminded me of that show somewhat.

There are many Monty Python movies but this one is by far the best of them all. And it was a hard choice to not put this any higher than #3, since many do consider this to be the funniest movie of all time and the greatest comedy ever made. But, on my list, it will rest at 3 and it will probably stay there for many years to come.

Monty Python And The Holy Grail - Click here for this week’s top video clips

Interesting Holy Grail Tidbits:

In the original draft of the script, Arthur and his knights end up finding the Holy Grail at Harrods, a famous London department store.

Sir-Not-Appearing-In-This-Film is Michael Palin's infant son Tom.

Throughout the movie, the knights galloped--with their "bearers" clapping coconut halves together to simulate the noises of the horses' hooves--to pretend they were on horses. This was not, however, part of the original concept. Before filming began the budget was cut, and there was no money for renting horses.

Terry Gilliam was supposed to direct the film, but during filming he became exasperated with the actors, and they with him. At one point he gave up directing altogether and took a nap under a nearby tree. At this point Terry Jones took up directing in his stead, which is why they are both credited as directors.

Fan Strolls On Stage at Britney Spears Concert

Here's a pretty funny clip I ran across from the recent Britney Spears concert in Connecticut. As she's performing "Womanizer," some guy just decides to take a stroll on to the stage and do a little dancing with Britney, or maybe have a little chat, who knows what this guy was thinking. Somehow the guy just walks right up to Britney and scares the shit out of her. She can be seen screaming (which suspiciously can't be heard on her mic) before dancers casually lead the guy away after which he no doubt was tackled and seen out of the building by security. Britney then stumbles around a bit, trying to remember her robotic moves that go with the music. I guess no one expects Britney to actually be really singing at these shows anymore, but yet it's still a funny site to see Britney scared out of her mind and screaming, all while the music and "singing" doesn't miss a beat.

Tuesday, May 5, 2009

A Dom DeLuise Post From An Actual DeLuise Fan

Fucks sake. Who gives a flying fuck about COOKBOOKS?? NOT MEN! SINCE MEN ONLY READ THIS SITE! FUCK COOKBOOKS.

I am here to talk about the COMEDIAN. The ACTOR. One of the funniest men of all time.

Below this one, you will see a pathetic tribute to the great Dom DeLuise. A brief mention of some of his movies, well here is a take from someone who has watched his movies, and loved them.

This may spoil things, but fuck it I doubt anyone other than Devon was really that interested. I am currently in the middle of a countdown of the funniest movies of all time. And #1 is planned to be Blazing Saddles. To me, Blazing Saddles is the funniest movie of all damn time, and many people will agree with me on that. And my favorite scene from the funniest movie of all time, happens to feature none other than Dom himself.

I grew up watching tons of movies, but I remember seeing, or hearing, Dom DeLuise in most of them. From the Muppet movies, to Cannonball Run. Haunted Honeymoon, and most Mel Brooks movies, and even An American Tail and All Dogs Go To Heaven. He was always the standout in all those movies I saw as a kid.

I had always hopped that someday, Mel Brooks would pull out one last great comedy. And reunite most of the surviving members of all his old films, but without Dom DeLuise, it just wouldn't be the same. You will be missed greatly sir.

R.I.P. Dom Deluise

This one makes me especially sad, as one of my most prized cookbooks was not only written by Mr. Deluise, but I was fortunate enough to meet him and get it autographed. Dom wasn't just a great chef (he often played on how much he resembled famous chef, Paul Prudhomme) but he was also a hilarious funny actor, and is most known from roles in Cannonball Run, Spaceballs, and Robin Hood: Men in Tights. Dom passed away in his sleep at a Los Angeles hospital on Monday night. He was 75.

First Bea Arthur, now Dom Deluise... who's next?

Review Update: X-Men Origins: Wolverine

I wrote briefly the other day about the new X-Box 360 game, X-Men Origins: Wolverine, and noted that I was only about halfway through the game or so, so now that I've played a considerable amount more, I wanted to take another quick minute to tell you how you must try this game.

Spoilers ahead...

You battle a fucking SENTINEL man! A full size Sentinel. On a roof, and once you've damaged his feet to where he can't stand up, he does what any Sentinel would do, and takes off in to the sky... with you hanging on for dear life. Once you hit an extreme altitude he swats you off of him, and you begin to sky dive (sans parachute, natch) and you have to duck debris falling away from him, until you land on him and rip off another piece. Repeat process a couple times, and you get an awesome cut scene, in which the Sentinel hits the ground, and then to disable it for good, Wolverine turns himself in to a skydiving bullet and shoots right through it's head.

Not even a couple quick scenes later, and you're fighting The Blob in a grocery store. Now this fight... it's awesome. Blob will try to splash down on to you, and when he does you have to evade and then hop on his back, and then ride him around the grocery store crashing through EVERYTHING. When all was said and done, we were in a huge empty room. It was awesome.

Oh, I wanted to mention the costumes. Throughout the game you'll find Wolverine action figures. Get 3 of each and you unlock the chance to get various costumes. To get the costumes you have to battle different versions of Wolverine in a sort of simulation chamber, and once defeated you unlock the costume he was wearing. I'm currently playing the game with him wearing the classic Yellow & Blue attire and it's bad to the bone. I also unlocked the Legendary Red & Yellow attire.

So, long story short, I still haven't beaten the game. I'm currently battling Gambit throughout a Vegas casino, and it's just as awesome as the rest of the game. I didn't even want to wait til I finished it to write a follow up, just to let you know that I am officially changing my rating to an 8.5 out of 10. This game is WIN. If you liked Star Wars: The Force Unleashed, then you will like this game. SWTFU is one of my favorite games on 360, so it's no shock I love this one too. Check it out!

Monday, May 4, 2009

Hot Music: Black Eyed Peas "Boom Boom Pow"

Here we go with a feature on some hot music of the moment, music that will spice up the vibe here, being the little music that's been covered, is nothing you'd hear in the hottest night club, so we kick off with the first single from the Black Eyed Peas forthcoming album "The E.N.D." (not their last album, it stands for the Energy Never Dies.) This song exploded on the scene, debuting at number 1 on itunes, topping all charts, and is a definite winner from the get go for the Black Eyed Peas, who I didn't think would even release another album together, being that Fergie had a huge hit album on her own, and most definitely could have stayed solo and done big things, and Will i.a.m is a big time producer who also could have done big things without the B.E.P if he chose, which, but the Black Eyed Peas are getting back together first, and if this song is any indication, this album will be the biggest hit yet. The E.N.D. is going for a futuristic look and sound, as evident by the video, both in sound and visuals. has stated he thinks this may be the last hard release of a Peas album, as he feels that technology is almost to the point that music will be released only digitally, and CD's are soon to be a thing of the past, which seems to be where all these futuristic vibes are coming from. Boom Boom Pow is a hot song no doubt, and the Peas formula with Fergie as the hot female to their mix is still a perfect fit, and she's definitely hot in this video. I look forward to hearing the full album when it drops on 6-9-09 . Here is the video for Boom Boom Pow:

Sunday, May 3, 2009

Breaking News: Aguilera Hooks Up with Lohan...or Something Like That

As much as I'd like to make my debut by breaking a huge story on the lesbian sex tape featuring the two vixens pictured on the right, the headline is merely an eye catching headline to announce's newest writer, which would be myself, "Johnny Aguilera" (Aguilera hooks up with Lohan, now you get it.) A brief history...I've been in negotiations to come to this site for months, but held off until it felt right. I have a history writing for various sites, many considered "mainstream," although some are run more like high school proms, but I won't get into those too much, as I"m leaving the baggage behind, and starting fresh as I join the team that will bring this site up a few levels. Now anyone that knows about these type of sites, you'd probably wonder "why would someone from a mainstream site join a seemingly low budget site that doesn't have much presence on the web. The answer is simple, I want a challenge. I've worked and made money with some sites, but it's all pretty cut and dry, not much accomplishment to be had. Those sites are already big, you just do what you're told, and that's it. When you start fresh, you get to be a part of building something and watching it succeed, which is something I've thought about for years. This oddly named site caught my eye while surfing Digg headlines months back, and I read a few posts, which subjects were all over the place, from movie news to some 1 line posts to some crazy rants on stuff you don't see elsewhere. No rhyme or reason here, no 1 subject the site was about, but maybe that's the approach that's sometimes needed. Just a site you go to that's a little bit of everything, and always something you wouldn't expect. So here I am. As I said, I'm leaving my past work behind and starting as a rookie. Since assuming a famous last name is the norm around here, Johnny Aguilera is born, and ready to help this site deliver. No holds barred, edgy, maybe some straight talk and everyday thoughts. Who knows. I have a feeling some of my taste will clash with the writers here, but I've been told that that's OK. And I'm not afraid to hype something that's unpopular if I like it, or tell you that the popular thing sucks in my opinion, so this should be a very interesting ride. Movies, movies, celebrities, opinions, news, it all sounds good to me, so enough talking, Johnny Aguilera is here, and it's time to deliver.

Saturday, May 2, 2009

Trailer: G.I. Joe: Rise of Cobra

I have to say, this looks pretty awesome!

G.I. JOE trailer in HD

Movie & Video Game Review: Wolverine

I'm not gonna write a long soliloquy about either topic, but I did want to share a few words on Wolverine, both the movie and new video game. I'll start with the movie. Spoilers await.

I have to say up front that I was a bit disappointed with the movie as a whole. It was good for what it was, which is a Marvel superhero movie. A buddy of mine said it was better than The Incredible Hulk but worse than Iron Man, and I have to agree with him completely. Hugh Jackman is awesome as Wolverine, and Liev Shreiber was great as Sabertooth (though I don't remember him ever being called Sabertooth in the movie). So I give those two guys credit.... but the story of this movie, loosely based off the Wolverine Origins comic series, was just really weak for me. I was really the most disappointed with the fact that Ryan Reynolds is really only in this movie for like 10 minutes, and then 10 minutes he's in it are awesome. Need more Ryan Reynolds! The graphics are horrendous, there's one part where Logan is checking out his new metal claws in a mirror and they look almost like a cartoon. It's pretty bad. The story again, kinda weak. I'm pretty sure I don't remember there ever being a story about Wolverine and Sabertooth being brothers. I didn't like that... I thought it took away from the movie, because I would think that Wolverine ultimately wouldn't want to kill his brother, but would want to save him, but instead it's the whole movie with him trying to find him and kill him. Taylor Kitsch as Gambit was awesome though. In fact, I'll go as far as saying Gambit is the best part of the whole damn movie. Eh... I dunno, maybe I'm Dark Knight spoiled. I just think this movie could have
been a lot better. 6.5 out of 10.

The game, on the other hand, is absolutely awesome.
It's kinda loosely following the plot of the movie, I'm only a couple hours in, so I don't know much it goes through. But from what I've played, it's pure awesomeness. You just slash and shred and rip through everything in sight. You can rip dudes in half, decapitate em, cut off their legs and arms, all the while blood is spraying through the air around you. There's little easter eggs or something hidden in it. I found the hatch door from LOST in the first level... that made me laugh. Hugh Jackman did the CG and voice work for it, so it has a very authentic feel. The graphics are pretty decent and the cut scenes are quick and spread out just enough. It's not a cake walk either, it's pretty challenging, but it's a lot of fun at the same time. I'd recommend it to anyone looking to just tear shit up for a few hours. Give the game 7.5 out of 10.