Friday, May 8, 2009

5 Rules Of Visting Disney Theme Parks

Here are the rules of what you should NOT do at Disney theme parks.

This is mostly brought upon by the Flash Mountain post below, because look, I like topless girls, but when it comes to being at Disneyland, that is not the time, or the place, for boobs. Not at all. So here is the rules.

NO BOOBS: Yep, I said it. Disneyland is a magical family friendly place, there is no reason, or need, to show your boobs to the rides cameras. Most of the time the picture gets "washed away" and no one ever sees it anyways. So don't do it. I know you are a huge slut and you just HAVE to flash your boobs at every camera you see, but don't do it at Disneyland, if you wanna do that shit go be trendy and hit Cancun or some fuckin shitty spring break lake. Sluts.

NO CUSSING: Yeah, guess what, most of us civilized adults, like to raise our children right. Now as you can tell from reading this site, I have a filthy fuckin mouth. But I also have a kid, and when I'm around him, I don't cuss. It's called being mature, civilized, responsible. So when I'm at Disneyland, and I hear some fuckin fuck cussing his ass off, I say some shit to him like HEY, DO YOU MIND THERE ARE KIDS AROUND. And if fuck face says YOU GOT A PROBLEM?! Then guess what, I will have a problem, cleaning the shit off of my shoe after pulling my foot out of the fuckers ass. I will throw down at a Disneyland to protect children from the harsh language of douche bags. Try me.

NO GANGSTER WANNABE FAGS: Yeah. None of that please. You have no interest in Disneyland, you just go and sit around and act like idiots and usually break the above rule and then I gotta deal with your hip hop ass. So just stay home, or go chill in front of a movie theater. Back in the 70s, Disneyland actually had a rule that if you were a guy with long hair, they wouldn't let you in. They should make this rule for mexican gangster wannabe fags now as well.

NO CRYING: Kids listen, I know you love to throw temper tantrums and shit, but you are at Disneyland, the most magical place on this planet earth, there is no reason what so ever you should be crying, and if you are crying, that might be because someone broke THE NUMBER 1 RULE.... which is...

NO YELLING AT YOUR KIDS: Listen parents. Realize where you are at. You have taken your children, to the one place in the world that every kid wants to go to. Of course theyre not gonna listen to you too well. Of course theyre gonna mark out and lose their minds over shit. Of course they will not behave properly because god damnit theyre at DISNEYLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAND!!!!!!!!!!!! If you yell at your kid, or drag them around by their arm screaming, see the no cussing rule, because I will stand up for that kid, and I will say some shit to you. Leave the kids alone, theyre at Disneyland, you should not be spitting out rules, and this and thats, just let them do their thing, and monitor the shit. If they start going into a place theyre not supposed to walk just tell them not to do that and guide them away. Dont act like some fat mom and say DAMNIT! YOURE NOT SUPPOSED TO GO THERE!!! And grab them by the arm and yank them away. Because I will kick you in the shin if I see that shit. Seriously. Theyre kids, at Disneyland, they dont give a fuck about anything but Disneyland. And if youre thinkin YEAH HAVE YOU EVER TAKEN KIDS TO DISNEYLAND AND HAD TO DEAL WITH IT?! Yes, I have, Ive been taking my nephews to Disneyland for years now, and I have never once had a problem with them. So parents, YOU are the ones who should behave, and make sure your kids have a blast at the LAND, or the WORLD.

1 comment:

  1. There should really be a No Asians rule too, they ruin Disney by walking through all of your pictures.