Monday, June 30, 2008

Trailer for "Somethin' Fishy" Starring George "The Animal" Steele and Greg "The Hammer" Valentine

Random Villain posted earlier about the greatest movie trailer ever. Well in a matter of hours, there may be a new greatest ever, as I stumbled across and couldn't help but write about the new independant film, "Somethin' Fishy." It's the tail of WWE Hall of Famers George "The Animal" Steele and Greg "The Hammer" Valentine, who have gone in together and bought a fishing camp, but have no clue how to run a fishing camp. A lot of wrestling fans are already complaining and not appreciating this, but after viewing this trailer, I call it a masterpiece! This movie is a must see for any true fan of old school wrestling, and this sort of humor is straight out of the classic WWE TNT Show from the 80's, only better acting here! Check out the trailer, this movie just HAS to be greatness:

The Greatest Movie Trailer Ever?!

I stumbled across this and thank god I did. I now have this movie on the way from Netflix. And I just might review it for you lucky folks.

Quantum Of Solace Trailer!

I don't give a shit what people say, Daniel Craig is the best James Bond, and so far, Casino Royale is the best Bond movie there is. The Connery Bond movies were OK, but that was it, just OK, and were actually a little on the boring side, much like the rest of them, except for the Pierce Brosnan Bond movies, they just sucked shit with the other the top CGI bullshit everywhere. Casino Royale came along and kind the living shit out of everything and was kinda like the Batman Begins of the Bond movies. It gave me what I wanted to see in a Bond movie, tons of awesome action and suspense with no CGI to be found. When a building blew up and collapsed, it was a real building. When a car almost ran over a girl and missed and flipped 678 times, it was a real car flipping 678 times, of course the girl in the road was a dummy, but shit Ill take a dummy in the road over a CGI girl in the road. And of course the opening chase scene that goes hundreds of feet up on a crane, was really filmed with the actors hundreds of feet up on a crane. Needless to say, I am really excited about the next Bond movie.

And if for some reason the above video doesn't wanna work, you can CLICK HERE TO GO SEE THE TRAILER IN HD!

Friday, June 27, 2008

Review: WALL•E

This is going to be a hard review to do. First off it may come off as a tad bit biased. Since I am a die hard Disney/Pixar fan. But I have a feeling even if I was just a moderate fan, this would still be a hard review to do.

Why so hard to review? I do not think I have seen a movie that is so, fucking, GOOD, that I have no words to really describe how incredible this movie is. I am going to do my best.

The Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences should remove their heads from their asses next year, and do away with the Best Animated Film category. This movie deserves to be in the Best Picture category. Pixar deserves a REAL Oscar. No other studio is putting a movie out that makes you feel emotion towards what you are seeing on screen. No other studio out there currently can produce such heartfelt, hilarious, touching, inventive, intelligent, groundbreaking, and pure entertainment. Sorry Iron Man, but you have slipped to #2 for this year. WALL•E has taken over your spot for best movie of 2008, and I don't see anything, not even The Dark Knight, matching up to it.

I wish I could get more in depth with this review, I wish I could go on and on forever about how fantastic this movie is. How it is a pure MASTERPIECE. But I can't. I am just speechless. All I can say is for you to just go and witness this movie yourself. The animation is at its best, nothing has been better than this. This is the BEST Pixar movie to date. Although I will always hold Toy Story as my geniune favorite Pixar movie.

Go see WALL•E.

10/10. Perfection.

Interesting Note: Watch near the begining, when Eve, the white robot shows up and is scanning all the junk. You will catch a glimpse of the Pizza Planet truck from Toy Story. This truck has appeared in every Pixar movie.

Saw V poster looks awesome!

I dig the Saw movies, the first one is by far the best, the others are just reasons to watch people get destroyed in crazy ways. Below is the poster for the fifth Saw which of course, is coming this Halloween.Interesting tidbit you might not be aware of. If you think all of the crazy devices used to kill people in the Saw movies are a bit of movie magic, you are wrong. Every device created for the Saw movies, would ACTUALLY WORK! So all the devices that these actors are thrown in, are fully functional. Yikes, this probably explains why no A list actors appear in these movies.

The Devon Lohan Store Now Open!

You wanted the best! You got the best! The Devon ABERRRRRRRR t shirt and other accessories is now on sale!!!

Click right here to go to our cafe press store and purchase the DEVON ABERRR THONG!!!!!!!!! AND SHIRTS AND MORE!!!!

Thursday, June 26, 2008

The Devon Lohan Store?!

We are thinking about coming up with a store. Many a time I will think of a pretty damn funny shirt idea but there is nowhere to buy said shirt. So we figured maybe, just maybe, with the power of cafe press, we would make our own store, with our own shirts. Some related to this website, some just being random strange shirts. Plus it would help generate a little more cash for the site and help us move out of blogger land and into real website world.

Anyways, here is just one of many shirt ideas we have. We would like to hear your thoughts about this shirt and if you would even be interested in purchasing some silly shirts.

Brooke Hogan in Maxim? And HOT?!

So Brooke Hogan is a moron. And most of the time, she looks more like a man than anything. But these pictures revealed today from her shoot for Maxim Magazine show her to actually be... pretty fuckin hot. Thanks for comparing me to and me heading over there to find similarity in my posts and theirs which lead to me finding these pics. And also thanks to the guy that says we don't post enough hot chicks leading me to, post hot chicks. This post is for you two guys. Enjoy.
P.S. Her brother is still the biggest douche on the planet.

Related Content:
Hulk Hogan is Having Sex with Brooke Hogan!?
Brooke Hogan bio, nudity review, pics and clips at

Vern Troyer Sex Tape uuuuuuggggggggghhhhhh

File this under one of the last things on the planet we needed. But TMZ is reporting that a Mini Me sex tape is in the hands of the wrong people, very very wrong people. The kinda people that are selling it and are going to release it onto DVD. Good lord. Click here to be whisked away to the moronic land of TMZ and read all about this.

How come it is always people you DONT want in sex tapes and never people you DO want? Like where is a damn Lisa Loeb sex tape? Actually I don't want that, it would just make me angry and I would hunt the bastard down that would be in that tape and give him a beat down. An old fashioned beating. One where I hit him more than he hits me and afterwards I take his shoes tie them together and throw them on telephone wires. Now a lesbian Lisa Loeb sex tape? Someone make that happen. K thanks.

Battlefield: Bad Company Review

So people are STILL bitching about my Metal Gear 4 review. Since I hated it. Is that the same for this game? No.

My main complaint about games is cutscenes. Now some don't bother me, if the scene is just a couple minutes long, fine by me. But when the damn cutscene drags on and on and on and on top of being too long it is also boring as fuck, then it gets annoying. With Battlefield: Bad Company, there are cutscenes after every mission is completed, but they are never longer than just a couple minutes. They get to the point, tell you what's up and then you move on. As well as the characters in the game actually being funny and entertaining.

I am a big fan of Call Of Duty 4, so I was a little leary about straying from COD4, I felt like I would be cheating on COD by getting this game but actually, I am pretty pleased with Bad Company. There are a few flaws here and there, but it is nothing major. The camera is sometimes a little hard to control but that is very very minor. And when you are in a battle, you will be getting shot at but you have no idea where the hell it is coming from really. Which isn't much of a complaint, it adds realism to the game. You know where the shot came from but you can't immediately see the enemy, unlike COD where you can see the enemy from anywhere pretty much. Also unlike COD is the health. In the past few war games I have played, your health regenerates if you take cover for a few. With this game you have to heal yourself or else you're screwed.

As for the story in this game it is simple and sweet. You are 1 guy in a group of 4 called Bad Company. The rejects of the Army pretty much. You are the guys sent into the warzone before the real Army shows up, since you are expendable. Your rules are simple, destroy everything, kill everyone. And take a little for yourself. Unlike Metal Gear, you are not stuck with long cutscenes in between great gameplay. The game moves right along and it is pretty damn fun. One of the best features of this game is one that I wish was in COD. Sometimes in COD you will be playing an enemy and they will hide behind a wall and just sit there and no matter how many RPGs and grenades you throw, he will be fine behind that wall. Well in Bad Company there is nowhere to hide. If you come up to a house and there's a bad guy inside hiding, you can flip on your grenade launcher and blow the living shit out of the side of the house and walk in guns blazing, catching the enemy off guard. Everything in this game is interactive from what I have seen. You can blow up anything and everything as you see fit.

I have yet to finish the game so I can't really say how long the game itself is, and I have yet to try out the online mode, but I figured I would just throw my thoughts out there in case any of you were wondering about this game. If you are a fan of shoot em ups, and Call Of Duty, this game will please you greatly. If you are a fan of games that have 30 minute cutscenes and are not video games but are, cinematic gaming, then fuck off. Bad Company has no time for your whiney shit. Oh, and for all you Metal Gear fans, Bad Company has a little message for you as well.

And for you Rainbox Six fans....

And for the Gears Of War fans.....

For all the shit talking this game does about other games, it has the goods to back it up. This is by far a better game than Metal Gear, Gears Of War, and Rainbow Six. Ok not better than Gears Of War by far, but I enjoyed this more than Gears.


Brendan Fraiser Doesn't Give A Fuck About GI Joe

Brendan Fraiser apparently has a cameo in GI Joe. Yee fuckin haw. I have about as much hope for GI Joe being good as I do for Devon not being a douche bag. And the fact that they got Brendan Frasier for a cameo really doesn't help matters. Since he also, is a douche bag. Well not entirely, he was awesome in Encino Man, since then uhhhhh, yeah he sucks, you're right. Anyways he was in a press junket for his new pile of crap, Journey To The Center Of The Earth 3-D when the retarded MTV reporter goes off subject of the movie he's promoting, and asks about GI Joe. Needless to say, Brendan doesn't seem thrilled that she spoiled his cameo, and isn't asking him about the movie he is trying to promote.

Someone had their cell phone camera on the set of Final Destination 4!

I really really liked the first Final Destination. The second one was ok I guess. The third one had more holes in it than Devons underwear, don't ask how I know. Seriously though, in the third movie, the big accident happens because that guy dropped his video camera on the roller coaster tracks. So everyone crashes and dies then the chick wakes up and warns people to get off the roller coaster, and most do, even the guy with the video camera. So if he wasn't on there, he wouldn't have dropped his camera on the tracks, therefore everyone should have lived and there would have been no roller coaster crash at all. But that doesn't matter because much like the Saw movies, no one gives a shit about the story or the characters, they just wanna watch people get killed in fucked up ways. And even though the last two movies were kinda blah, I am very very excited about part 4, why you ask? Because it is the first of many horror movies returning to 3-D! Limbs, blood, heads, boobs, all comin at your fuckin face in the theater! I haven't seen a horror 3-D movie since Freddy's Dead: The Final Nightmare. Anyways, someone had their cell phone camera on the set of the new Final Destination and caught this little clip of a car accident, which is what opens the new movie.

300....2?? Or.... 600? or -300???

Producers for the insanely awesome movie 300, based on the Frank Miller graphic novel, say that they are working on a prequel/sequel. Zack Snyder, the director of 300 says that Frank Miller is currently working on the follow up and they are loving what they see. This also comes with the news that they want more of your money, as they plan to release a new Blu Ray DVD of the movie with even more features on it and possibly news of the prequel/sequel. I am very glad I held out on buying the damn movie now. As for my thoughts on another 300 movie, I am very much for it.

Tuesday, June 24, 2008

WWE Is The Definition Of CLASSY!

Last night, on WWE Monday Night Raw, WWE Chairman Vince McMahon was part of a fake accident where the stage he was standing on fell apart and fell on top of him. Of course no part of the stage that fell actually touched him, but somehow he couldn't feel his legs afterwards and blah blah scripted stupid bullshit blah blah. And it is from the looks of it, an attempted murder storyline.

Well where the CLASSY factor comes in. This comes just 1 year, EXACTLY, TO THE DAY, that Chris Benoit went crazy and killed his family. Chris Benoit, at that time, was a wrestler for the WWE. Now I know it is a year later, but to do a murder attempt storyline on the anniversary of it? Come on.

Also, last nights stunt on Raw, with the stage collapsing and the explosions and madness comes just a week after a crew member from the enemies brand, TNA, was killed. How was this crew person from TNA killed? The stage collapsed. Yep, a real person in the real world was killed in TNA from the stage collapsing, so a week later, WWE does a skit about the stage collapsing. In the words of Mike Boogie, CLASS ACT.

Ugh, I miss the old days.

The Coreys Were NOT Molested By Michael Jackson

Seriously people, he was found not guilty, deal with it. Everyones going ape shit over the Coreys revealing that they were both molested as kids. And now everyone is saying OMFG IT WAS MICHAEL JACKSON HE RAPED THE COREYS!!!

No, he didn't so shut the hell up. Proof? Feldman himself says, "People can say whatever they want, but it wasn't Michael, he and I have our own issues, but that wasn't one of them. The guy that did this to me was my assistant. I was still a virgin at the time. I hadn't even had sex with a girl. So for me it was just kind of bewildering."

There end of story, stop going crazy about Michael Jackson rapping a frog brother. Plus, The Two Coreys is one of the most pathetically scripted reality shows in the history of TV. Not to reality tv producers, if you are going to script your reality shows, at least get people on the show that can actually ACT.

Random Villains Top List Mania!!!

So if Entertainment Weekly can come out with a totally pointless top movie list, so can I damnit! And since we are half way through the year, I present you with, Random Villains Top 9 Movies Of 2008 That I Have Seen So Far List!

9. Wall-E
True, this movie has yet to come out, it comes out this Friday. But I am a huge Disney fan. On top of that I am a huge Pixar fan. So no matter what, this movie would end up in the top 10 anyways. So I threw it on here, plus it was kinda hard since I haven't seen more than 9 movies this year that were good.

8. Run, Fat Boy, Run
Simon Pegg can do no wrong. No matter what. Even he is starred in one of those shitty Spoof Movies that are made every 3 months, I would go see it.

7. Vince Vaughns Wild West Comedy Show
I was pretty surprised by this. It even started off kinda slow and the comedians that went on tour with Vince Vaughn started off kinda lame, but as the movie went on, things got funnier and funnier until this movie found a spot on my DVD shelf at home.

6. Forgetting Sarah Marshall
This is the Judd Apatow crew that I like to see. The Dewey Cox story was not that good, at all. Actually it sucked. But when anyone from Freaks And Geeks makes a movie that they wrote, and Kristen Bell is involved, then I am pleased. True it was not as good as Superbad or Knocked Up, but it was still pretty damn good. And I will make this a must buy for me.

5. Speed Racer
This movie BOMBED at the box office. And to me I think it had to do with Iron Man crushing everything in its path. Had this movie came out later this year in the winter time, it would have done better. It was a good movie. Visually stunning and I can't wait to own it on Blu Ray to check it out again.

4. The Incredible Hulk
We got what we expected. We all hate the first Hulk movie. And after seeing 100 commercials for this one we knew right away that it was going to be far better than the first. And of course Iron Man standing in the way with everyone comparing the two does not help, but I fuckin loved me some Incredible Hulk which to me, has one of the best Good Vs Bad fight scene finales in years.

3. Get Smart
God damn I was so worried about this movie. On one hand I was worried it would be one of those movies where all the funny parts were in the commercials, I was WRONG. And on the other I was worried that The Love Guru would beat it at the box office over the weekend. Wrong again. This movie earned the #1 spot this past weekend and it deserved it.

2. Rambo
This was close. Real close. Some days I think Rambo should be #2, other days it should be #1. It is really hard to decide. Movie studios are bringing back all of our childhood heroes. All the icons of action movies, but Stallone seems to be the only one who did it right. Rambo was everything I was hoping for and then some, it made me even more of a Rambo fan than I was before.

1. Iron Man
Of course. No need to explain further.

So there you have it. By years end this list will have changed drastically. We still have plenty more to go, so here is a NEW list!!

Random Villains Top 10 Movies That Have Not Come Out Yet But Might End Up On The Top 10 Movies Of 2008 List!

10. X Files 2
9. Hellboy 2
8. Harry Potter And The Half Blood Prince
7. Hancock
6. Tropic Thunder
5. Quantum Of Solace
4. Step Brothers
3. Zack And Miri Make A Porno
2. Pineapple Express
1. The Dark Knight

Monday, June 23, 2008

Entertainment Weekly Has Retards On The Staff

So their big list called "THE 100 BEST MOVIES SINCE 1983" was in their last issue. And needless to say, it is the most RETARDED fucking list of all time. Take a look....

1. Pulp Fiction (1994)
2. The Lord of the Rings trilogy (2001-03)
3. Titanic (1997)
4. Blue Velvet (1986)
5. Toy Story (1995)
6. Saving Private Ryan (1998)
7. Hannah and Her Sisters (1986)
8. The Silence of the Lambs (1991)
9. Die Hard (1988)
10. Moulin Rouge (2001)
11. This Is Spinal Tap (1984)
12. The Matrix (1999)
13. GoodFellas (1990)
14. Crumb (1995)
15. Edward Scissorhands (1990)
16. Boogie Nights (1997)
17. Jerry Maguire (1996)
18. Do the Right Thing (1989)
19. Casino Royale (2006)
20. The Lion King (1994)
21. Schindler's List (1993)
22. Rushmore (1998)
23. Memento (2001)
24. A Room With a View (1986)
25. Shrek (2001)
26. Hoop Dreams (1994)
27. Aliens (1986)
28. Wings of Desire (1988)
29. The Bourne Supremacy (2004)
30. When Harry Met Sally... (1989)
31. Brokeback Mountain (2005)
32. Fight Club (1999)
33. The Breakfast Club (1985)
34. Fargo (1996)
35. The Incredibles (2004)
36. Spider-Man 2 (2004)
37. Pretty Woman (1990)
38. Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind (2004)
39. The Sixth Sense (1999)
40. Speed (1994)
41. Dazed and Confused (1993)
42. Clueless (1995)
43. Gladiator (2000)
44. The Player (1992)
45. Rain Man (1988)
46. Children of Men (2006)
47. Men in Black (1997)
48. Scarface (1983)
49. Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon (2000)
50. The Piano (1993)
51. There Will Be Blood (2007)
52. The Naked Gun: From the Files of Police Squad (1988)
53. The Truman Show (1998)
54. Fatal Attraction (1987)
55. Risky Business (1983)
56. The Lives of Others (2006)
57. There’s Something About Mary (1998)
58. Ghostbusters (1984)
59. L.A. Confidential (1997)
60. Scream (1996)
61. Beverly Hills Cop (1984)
62. sex, lies and videotape (1989)
63. Big (1988)
64. No Country For Old Men (2007)
65. Dirty Dancing (1987)
66. Natural Born Killers (1994)
67. Donnie Brasco (1997)
68. Witness (1985)
69. All About My Mother (1999)
70. Broadcast News (1987)
71. Unforgiven (1992)
72. Thelma & Louise (1991)
73. Office Space (1999)
74. Drugstore Cowboy (1989)
75. Out of Africa (1985)
76. The Departed (2006)
77. Sid and Nancy (1986)
78. Terminator 2: Judgment Day (1991)
79. Waiting for Guffman (1996)
80. Michael Clayton (2007)
81. Moonstruck (1987)
82. Lost in Translation (2003)
83. Evil Dead 2: Dead by Dawn (1987)
84. Sideways (2004)
85. The 40 Year-Old Virgin (2005)
86. Y Tu Mamá También (2002)
87. Swingers (1996)
88. Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery (1997)
89. Breaking the Waves (1996)
90. Napoleon Dynamite (2004)
91. Back to the Future (1985)
92. Menace II Society (1993)
93. Ed Wood (1994)
94. Full Metal Jacket (1987)
95. In the Mood for Love (2001)
96. Far From Heaven (2002)
97. Glory (1989)
98. The Talented Mr. Ripley (1999)
99. The Blair Witch Project (1999)
100. South Park: Bigger Longer & Uncut (1999)

Really? Are we really saying movies like Austin Powers Internation Man Of Mystery is a better movie than Braveheart? Are we saying that Napoleon Dynamite is better than Shawshank Redemption? Scream is better then Seven? Speed is better than The Big Lebowski? Men In Black is better than Clerks? Wow, just fucking WOW. There are many, many more examples I could give but I am too lazy to do so right now, just read the list and be confused at what fucking moron wrote this list up. It does however make me want to make my own retarded movie list.

Kobe, how does my ass taste?

That is the question asked by Shaq as he raps about Kobe sucking. LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL

Movie News Catch-Up! GI Joe Rise Of Cobra?! Revenge Of The Fallen?! The Love Guru Sucks!

Here is the latest happenings in the movie world since I've been gone...

Transformers 2 no longer 2, it will now just be called "Transformers: Revenge Of The Fallen." But we will still just call it Transformers 2. And when we go to the theater and ask for tickets, we will just say, Transformers. Subtitles are stupid.

Speaking of subtitles and stupid. Stephen Sommers latest attempt to destroy my childhood, GI Joe, will now be called, GI Joe: Rise Of Cobra. And yea, it will still just be called GI Joe by all of us.

Spiderman 4 will be headed our way May 2011. No word on who if any of the original cast will return, I highly doubt it and personally I am fine with that since Spiderman 3 was such a huge pile of shit they can all go rot in hell. And Sam Raimi needs to stop fucking around and go make Evil Dead 4 already.

The Love Guru bombed. Thank fucking GOD. I was so worried that it would be number one and make shit loads of money. Get Smart was rightfully the #1 movie this weekend. There is hope for the human race after all.

Hostel 3 is headed our way. But this time Eli Roth will not be writing or directing it. I guess that means this Hostel movie will actually be good unlike the last two. ZING!

Terminator 4 teaser trailer will be with The Dark Knight. I am still very UGH about Terminator 4, but it has Christian Bale in it and the man has yet to do me wrong. McG on the other hand, has done nothing but. We will see.

Oh and in case you didn't know, or care, a sequel to Donnie Darko is on the way, called S. Darko. Richard Kelly is not involved, which, to borrow an early joke, probably means this Darko movie will be good. Sorry but Donnie Darko is the most overrated movie of all time.

That is all for now.

Sunday, June 22, 2008

George Carlin Has Died.

I have been off for a few days, and sadly, the first news story I return with is indeed one of the saddest news stories I have ever posted.

Reports are going around that comedian, sorry, LEGENDARY comedian George Carlin has died from heart failure. He has suffered from several heart attacks in his life, but it finally caught up to him and he died at the age of 71. This comes just a day after receiving the news that he would be honored with the Mark Twain Humor Prize For American Humor by the JFK Center For Performing Arts. He will be the 11th recipient of the award following people like Steve Martin and Billy Crystal.

He had just done his last HBO special this past March, I missed it unfortunatley. But I will of course be adding the DVD to my Carlin collection. The man to me made sense out of many things in life, such as, when an airplane almost crashed into something, why do they call it a near miss? It should be called a near hit. On top of being one of the funniest comedians of all time, the guy could act his ass off as well. Even though it was not seen by many, watch his performance in the Kevin Smith movie Jersey Girl. God damnit this sucks.

Goodbye George.

Thursday, June 19, 2008 on Hiatus....

I know when there is a lapse of news on here, some of our loyal anonymous readers start to lose their minds. "WHERE THE FUCK IS THE NEWS?! I WANT A REVIEW! EVEN THOUGH I JUST WANNA BITCH AND HATE ON YOU FOR YOUR REVIEW I STILL WANT IT!!!!"

Well I just bought a house, and received the keys yesterday so I will be away from the computer till Monday since I'll be moving and unpacking and all that shit. And since I am pretty much the only shmuck around here that writes, I guess this site is going on hiatus till Monday unless someone around here actually picks up the ball and writes some shit.

So as for me, I'll see you people Monday. Oh and don't even ask what the fuck is with the creepy demonic Wilfred Brimley picture. I just think it's funny.

Tuesday, June 17, 2008

Boston Celtics Are The NBA Champions

The Boston Celtics took a knife, cut the asses off the Lakers, and handed it to them, winning the NBA title tonight by 39 points, EASILY. Now, as for the Laker fans out there, all I have to say really, is well.....


Alright, thats all.

P.S. Kobe can't do it with out Shaq, deal with it.

Monday, June 16, 2008

The Master Of Our Childhood, Stan Winston, Has Died.

This is the darkest day of all. True people like James Cameron and Steven Spielberg brought us the movies. But the man that brought us the monsters, has died. The man who created the likes of Terminator, Aliens, the Monster Squad monsters, the dinosaurs in Jurassic Park, Edward Sissorhands, Predator, The Thing, Pumpkinhead, the list goes on, and on. He was the reason we remember the classic movies, and was the reason said movies are classics.

Details of his death have yet to be announced. This is really crappy news. Especially after the success he just had with Iron Man. Stan had done the practical effects for the movie. And was currently working on the new Terminator movie.

Our legendary movie monsters father has died. And the world is a sad place. I have been saying for years how much CGI has killed the magic in movies, and how greats like Stan Winston are barely heard of anymore. I mean imagine I Am Legend, with instead of CGI monsters running around, we had Stan Winston creatures.

We will have more details once they come in. R.I.P Stan. You will be missed.

Sunday, June 15, 2008

Movie Review: The Happening

To make a long story short, the Happening shouldn't have been called The Happening. Instead, it should have been named The Not Happening... because that's what you get. A whole 85 minutes of a lot of nothing happening. For the last week, I read interviews and previews with M. Night Shyamalan going on and on about how this movie being rated R gave him so much freedom to really use gore and horror to shock the audience. I even read one interview where he went so far as to say "In the first version, we threw everything and the kitchen sink in. It would have gotten an X rating. Or been banned in the United States. I told the crew and the cast that we're making a B-movie, but we're making the best B-movie that anyone's ever made."

My question is, where is the shit that would give this movie an R rating?! This movie isn't scary! It's not even gory! The goriest part is some dude getting his arms ripped off by lions at the zoo, and that shit looks like a cartoon the CG is so bad. I didn't jump once. Hell, I didn't even see anyone else jump. Not one person gasped. No one screamed. We all just sat there, staring at the most boring movie I've ever paid 10 dollars to see.

I'll be honest, I saw Uwe Boll's last flick, In the Name of the King... and it was way better than this. That's saying a lot. M. Night Shyamalan just needs to go ahead and hang it up. Mark Walhberg should be ashamed of how shitty his acting is in this movie. I mean, don't get me wrong, Mark Walhberg isn't that great of an actor to begin with, but it was like he dumbed himself down in this role. Zooey Deschanel is her usual doe-eyed self. I don't see why people are still all goo-goo-ga-ga over her. Sure, she played an eccentric, quirky, indie chick in a couple movies, and it was okay... but after awhile, I'd like to see her try for something different. She basically wears the same face the entire movie, her lips quivering and her eyes watering up. Boring! John Leguizamo is the only person who bothers to try acting in this movie, and he kills himself off in the first half of the movie.

The rest of the cast is filled with weird extras, and that dude who played Horace on Doctor Quinn: Medicine Woman. M. Night for once didn't cast himself in an acting role, not that it would have mattered. He's shit for acting too. However, you can hear his voice, over a cellphone. He's Joey, the guy calling Zooey's character throughout the movie. Look for a weird appearance by Brian O'Halloran, as the driver of the New Jersey bound red Jeep, who never gets one line, before killing himself 4 minutes later.

Overall, I'm just really disappointed in this film. I've always been a really loyal fan of Shyamalan. I own the rest of his films on DVD, even ranking The Village and Unbreakable as two of my favorites. Sixth Sense, Signs, and Lady in the Water were all likeable as well. Signs, for what it's worth, is way scarier than this movie. The suicides, which aren't as intense as the trailers would portray them, are also not in as great a quantity as you would have expected. What could have been an intense, jaw dropping scene, of people shooting themselves in the head, only to have someone else pick up the gun and do the same thing, is instead a boring 4 minute long scene, with the camera at ankle level, never showing a single point of entry. Somehow two teenagers getting blown away at point-blank range even fell short.

The composed music for the film is borderline idiotic. There were tracks after tracks of almost Disney-like orchestrated music, interjected with quick shots of what had to have been intended bursts of tension bearing thematics, that in the end didn't even wake up the sleeping dude in the row in front of me.

There is no twist ending. It does have an ending, that leaves you thinking, but it's no twist. The cause of "The Happening" is contrived, and is never really explained in depth. I won't spoil it, just in case you're some kind of sadist, and insist on taking your friends to see it. The character development is meek, and even though Shyamalan gave Wahlberg and Deschanel character traits to work with, they never quite pull them off. Playing a married couple with issues shouldn't be that hard for two seasoned actors, yet these two seem more like a couple of teenagers trying not to break up for the fifth time. The subplot between them pays off in the final moments of the film, but it still felt pointless.

I'm really dissatisfied with the film as a whole. At 85 minutes it feels rushed, contrived, and just narrowly escapes something I'd expect to catch on Sci-Fi channel on Saturday night. I could go on for hours about how M. Night Shyamalan is bordering on Uwe Boll territory, but like I said before I really didn't mind In the Name of the King all that much. The Happening, on the other hand, just didn't happen for me.

P.S. I did see The Incredible Hulk as well, and it was indeed Incredible.

Saturday, June 14, 2008

Review: The Incredible Hulk

The Incredible Hulk has one main enemy this weekend. Iron Man. The Incredible Hulk is a GREAT movie. It has elements from the TV show, and the comics, ties them all together into one movie and says fuck off Ang Lee, this is how its done.

During the opening credits we get a rebooted origin story. Takes just over a minute, and we are thrown into Bruce Banners world. He is hiding in Brazil, working in a bottling factory, while studying martial arts and meditation to help keep his anger under control.

Of course, mistakes happen, Thunderbolt Ross finds him, and all hell breaks loose while Bruce is trying to reach the mysterious "Mr. Blue" who thinks he can help Bruce with a cure, or help Bruce control the Hulk better.

And of course, Tim Roth, Emil Blonsky is on Bruces tail as well, getting his ass kicked over and over, which leads him to lending his body to experiments to make him stronger so he can keep trying to finally take out Hulk, which of course leads to him becoming Abomination. The Hulk Vs. Abomination fight is one of the best fight scenes I have seen in a movie in a long time. People have been mainly bitching about Hulk and Abomination being CGI. Give me a break people, if they were actors in make-up you would be bitching about them not being CGI. And how stupid the actors look in the make-up. Plus no one was bitching about Gollum in the Lord Of The Rings movies. In fact people wanted to give the CGI character an Academy Award! The CGI Hulk looks great, acts great and is just fine, so rest easy. All the actors do a great job, Ed Norton is the perfect Bruce Banner. Tim Roth is a great villain.

Also rest easy in knowing, we finally have our Hulk movie. The Hulk movie we have waited years for. Now, you may be wondering, why did I say Iron Man was the Hulks main villain? I think the main problem this movie has is that Iron Man came out first, and so far all I have read is that Hulk is great, but not as great as Iron Man. Which leaves me to wonder if Hulk came out first, then Iron Man, would people say Iron Man was great, but not as great as Hulk? Who knows. As for me. They are equal. Iron Man is fantastic, and Hulk is just as good.

This might be a spoiler, but it is very very minor. If you are wondering, if anything happens regarding the Avengers, which was teased at the end of Iron Man, yes, that story continues. And yes it has to do with the appearance of Tony Stark in the Incredible Hulk. Also during the opening credits / origin story redo, pay close attention to all the papers and letters going around. You might see some familiar names.

As for future Hulk movies, word on the street is they have 2 more lined up. The next films villain is even set up in this movie. I won't say who, but once he is shown, you should know. If not, don't worry about it. If you loved the show but never read the comics, you will love this movie. If you loved the comics and never watched the show, you will love this movie. If you loved them both, you will have geekgasms watching this. Enjoy.


Friday, June 13, 2008

Entourage: The Movie?! It Just Might Happen!

Entourage is hands down one of the best shows on television today. I got hooked on it one night last summer. A friend had lent me the first two seasons on DVD, and they sat on my shelf for weeks till one night, me and the wife sittin on the couch, found jack shit on TV and figured we would watch the first episode and see if we would get into it. Hours later, we had finished season 1. In one sitting. Since then I have been hooked.

Mark Wahlberg, executive producer of Entourage, was interviewed today about his new movie The Happening that came out today, and was asked about Entourage, his answer might please many fans.

Moviephone: Adrian Grenier said he'd do 'Entourage' 10 more years if he could. You're an exec producer. Any interest?

Mark Wahlberg: We're doing Season 5 right now. We're hoping for maybe three or four more seasons, and then maybe a film or two.

This has pleased me. Four more seasons works for me, and an Entourage movie would be fitting.

Call Of Duty 5: VIETNAM? First COD 5 Screenshots Here!

Call Of Duty 5 is due out this winter. Many gamers are all pissy and whiney because they think Call of Duty 5 is going back to being set in World War II. Well the first images from the game have been seen and from the looks of things, this looks nothing like World War II to me. Call me crazy but I don't remember many palm trees being in Europe.

So I think, this is actually set in Vietnam. I could be wrong, this is just my hunch. Maybe we will play as Green Berets in the jungles of Nam. That I could get behind. Here are the pics!

Actually the game is called, Call Of Duty: World At War. And is set in the Pacific Theater. Sadly.

Jason Voorhees New Mask!!!!!! OMFG!!!!

Horror movie nerds today are going crazy. Movie sites going mad. Why? Well because the first image of Jasons mask from the new Friday The 13th is online. This is also known as. STUPID.

Why in the fuck is this news? Why is the images that were released labeled as "tease"? We have known what his fucking mask looks like for over 20 years now. Calm down people, there is NOTHING new about this mask at all. NOTHING. It is Jasons mask. Thats it. Why am I posting it? Probably because this will be the only place where we point that fact out. While everyone else is going banana sandwiches over this.

Thursday, June 12, 2008

Review: Get Smart

I am gonna make this quick, I got some Laker fans to go call and laugh at. 24 point lead blown, BWWAAHHAHAHAH.

Anyways, today I got to see Get Smart. Bottom line. This movie is funny. REALLY funny. Which is surprising. The movies trailers looked like it would be a fun movie. But I figured it would be fun, with all the funny parts seen in the commercials. Wrong. Very very wrong. This movie was fuckin FUNNY. And it was no surprise why once the credits started rolling and the first credits we see are. CONSULTANTS. MEL BROOKS. BUCK HENRY. The creators of the original TV Show, and one being the writer and director of some of the funniest movies ever made. One of them being, at least in my opinion THE funniest movie ever made, Blazing Saddles.

I never really watched the show. I caught a couple episodes here and there as a kid on Nick At Night, and I was told a family member was on the show, so I wanted to check it out. (My Dads cousin, played Hymie.) But I never got hardcore into the show. But the movie does the show justice, and then some. I was entertained, laughing, watching, and happy from the start, to the finish. Non stop entertainment. All the characters from the old show are there, even the suit and car from the show. The doors in the long hallway, even the shoe phone appears. All in a great homage to the show. Steve Carrell is very good. Anne Hathaway is great, and hot, as always. Dwayne "Don't Call Me The Rock" Johnson is even great. Everyone is great. So much so that when this movie comes out next week I am going to see it again. Because one thing that depends on my rating of a comedy on how great it is, is if there are times, where I miss jokes, because I am still laughing from the previous joke. This happened a few times.

There is PLENTY of comedy in this movie, and there is even some surprisingly good action scenes in it as well. I HIGHLY recommend next weekend that you go see this movie instead of the crap known as THE LOVE GURU. Fucks sake. And I stand by my word, that this is one of the funniest and entertaining movies that I have seen in YEARS.

Get Smart comes out June 20th.

9/10. No joke, seriously, 9 out of fuckin 10.

4 Boy Scouts Die In Tornado. Way To Go Scout Leaders

So over in Iowa. It is tornado season. And a huge tornado touched down and killed people and destroyed everything in its path, including 4 boy scouts that were camping.

Now.... call me crazy but, if I was a scout leader, and it was tornado season, and it was stormy outside, and the sky was lookin a little green, taking a group of kids out where there was no shelter is probably the LAST thing I would think of doing.

Anyways, I dunno why this news belongs here, I think maybe because it was stupid? That they would take kids camping in tornado season? Oh yeah and the boy scouts that lived through the tornado are getting badges. Way to go kids, you survived the worlds biggest threat. Stupidity.

You know what I really loved about the movie Twister? How Helen Hunt and Bill Paxtons main goal in the movie was to launch the tornado warning system device they had to help warn people of the tornado. Even though, they seemed to know exactly where, and when, every tornado that DAY, was going to touch down way ahead of time. Love that movie. THATS WHAT MAKES US! HU MANS BE EEE EEEEEEEIINNNNNNNG

Celebrity Circus: FAKE?! WHO KNEW?!

Someone from the set of Celebrity Circus, which aired last night on NBC. Has let the secrets slip that some of the "injuries" were fake and used to build up the drama. The very hot Stacy Dash from Clueless and Moving was shown "breaking a rib" she was then taken to the doctor who said she should not do the stunts on the show and should rest! But, Stacy said she would do it despite her injuries! She was then flipping in mid air doing all the things someone with no broken rib could actually do.

Then Christopher Knight, fractured his elbow. Went to the same doctor, who said he should rest it. And of course! Christopher Knight is no quitter! He must go on and do something else where he doesn't need his arm! Like walk the tight rope, holding a human being on his shoulders, waving to fans, and being just fine.

The person who worked on the set mentioned that there was never any real legit injuries to the stars, and that they were fine.

Expect this show to be canceled in the coming days, because on top of the fake injuries, the show also SUCKED BALLS.

Review: Metal Gear Solid 4. It SUCKS. Gotta Love Cutscenes

Midnight. Metal Gear Solid. I got it.

Holy, fucking, SHIT.

The graphics are amazing, everything is wonderful. So why does it suck?

I am a gamer. I play video games all the time. I love video games. One big pet peeve I have about games, that immediately turn me off is cutscenes. I don't mind a small cutscene here and there, but jesus fucking christ on a stick. You will play Metal Gear Solid 4, kick some major ass, then cut scene time. 30 minutes long. 45 minutes long. 60 minutes long. I stopped playing. but from what I hear a couple cut scenes last around 90 minutes! I fucking HATE that shit. It is a big reason why I hated Grand Theft Auto 4. I do not go out and spend 60 god damn dollars, to sit and WATCH a game. I spend money to play the game. For the price of this game I could have just bought around 10 - 12 movies! I hate playing a game, kicking some ass, then a cutscene comes up and next thing I know its 45 minutes later and I'm STILL watching this shit. Now of course, you can skip past the cut scenes, but then you're thrown into shit and you have no idea what's going on or what you're supposed to go do.

If you love games where you sit, watch, and rarely ever even PLAY the VIDEO GAME. Then this game is perfect for you. And of course, no real challenge lies in this game, you are supplied with infinite lives. Infinite continues. Blagh.


Wednesday, June 11, 2008

The NBA Is Fixed. Tim Donaghy Spills The Beans!

Well, I am not sure who to believe. Some are saying that Tim Donaghy, the NBA ref caught betting and fixing games, is spilling all the secrets about the NBA fixing games because once he was caught, the NBA did not try to back him up. Or is he just making all this up to help cover his own ass. It is tough to try and determine who to believe in all this, but from what I have seen in the recent years in the NBA. Especially being a Phoenix Suns fan. I can't help to believe Tim Donaghy. It just makes sense and answers every questionable call. I am not going to rewrite my own article on all this, I am just going to pull a Devon and copy and paste the article from ESPN. Read, and post your thoughts.

Was Game 3 of the 2008 NBA Finals held at the scene of a crime?

Disgraced ex-referee Tim Donaghy alleged as much Tuesday in a filing made by his attorney in U.S. District Court in New York, saying the highly controversial Game 6 of the Lakers-Kings playoff series in 2002 was impacted by the actions of two of the three referees who worked the game.

NBA commissioner David Stern vehemently denied the allegations, saying they are the desperate act of a convicted felon. He also disclosed that the league has already briefed members of the U.S. Congress on certain facets of the Donaghy investigation.

"We welcome scrutiny here. This is something that should be scrutinized," said Stern, who called Donaghy a "singing, cooperating witness" and repeatedly referred to the former referee as a felon as he spoke with reporters for more than eight minutes near the loading dock of the Staples Center as he arrived for Game 3 of the Finals.

The allegations are some of the strongest ever made against the NBA, coming at a time when the officiating of this year's Finals between the Celtics and Lakers has come under heavy scrutiny.

In the letter submitted by Donaghy's attorney, the following "manipulation" is alleged:

"Referees A, F and G were officiating a playoff series between Teams 5 and 6 in May of 2002. It was the sixth game of a seven-game series, and a Team 5 victory that night would have ended the series. However, Tim learned from Referee A that Referees A and F wanted to extend the series to seven games. Tim knew referees A and F to be 'company men,' always acting in the interest of the NBA, and that night, it was in the NBA's interest to add another game to the series. Referees A and F heavily favored Team 6. Personal fouls [resulting in obviously injured players] were ignored even when they occurred in full view of the referees. Conversely, the referees called made-up fouls on Team 5 in order to give additional free throw opportunities for Team 6. Their foul-calling also led to the ejection of two Team 5 players. The referees' favoring of Team 6 led to that team's victory that night, and Team 6 came back from behind to win that series."

Although no teams are specifically named, it is not hard to deduce the game in question. The Lakers-Kings series was the only one that postseason that went seven games, and the officiating in Game 6 was so questionable that consumer advocate and former presidential candidate Ralph Nader called for a formal investigation.

The Lakers attempted 40 free throws to the Kings' 25 in that game, and Los Angeles made 21 of 27 from the line while Sacramento converted 7 of 9 in the fourth quarter alone.

In addition, a foul was called against Mike Bibby of the Kings after he was shoved and elbowed by Kobe Bryant, denying the Kings an opportunity to try for a tying basket. Also in that game, Kings centers Vlade Divac and Scot Pollard fouled out, and Kings coach Rick Adelman was highly critical of the officiating afterward.

"My first thought [upon hearing Donaghy's allegation] was: I knew it," Pollard said Tuesday night. "I'm not going to say there was a conspiracy. I just think something wasn't right. It was unfair. We didn't have a chance to win that game."

The Lakers went on to win the 2002 NBA championship.

The letter apparently comes in response to the NBA's claim that Donaghy pay $1 million in restitution to cover the cost of the league's private investigation. Donaghy's legal team is trying to demonstrate his cooperation with a federal government investigation before he is sentenced on July 14 on felony charges of taking cash payoffs from gamblers and betting on games himself.

The document references other alleged improprieties that Donaghy disclosed to federal law enforcement officials. Among them:

• "Tim gave information on how top executives of the NBA sought to manipulate games using referees to boost ticket sales and television ratings," the letter reads. "He also described how nepotism played a far greater role than qualifications in a number of referee hirings."

• "Tim explained the league officials would tell referees that they should withhold calling technical fouls on certain star players because doing so would hurt ticket sales and television ratings," the letter adds. "As an example, Tim explained how there were times when a referee supervisor would tell referees that NBA Executive X did not want them to call technical fouls on star players or remove them from the game. In January 2000, Referee D went against these instructions and elected a star player in the first quarter of the game. Referee D later was privately reprimanded by the league for that ejection."

• In addition to game-altering allegations, Donaghy's letter claims that many officials carry on "relationships" with team executives, coaches and players that violate their NBA contracts. For example, it said, referees broke NBA rules by hitting up players for autographs, socializing with coaches, and accepting meals and merchandise from teams.

"Tim described one referee's use of a team's practice facility to exercise and another's frequent tennis matches with a team's coach," the letter says.

• The letter also alleges that during a 2005 playoff series, "Team 3 lost the first two games in the series and Team 3's Owner complained to NBA officials. Team 3's Owner alleged that referees were letting a Team 4 player get away with illegal screens. NBA Executive Y told Referee Supervisor Z that the referees for that game were to enforce the screening rules strictly against that Team 4 player. Referee Supervisor Z informed the referees about his instructions. As an alternate referee for that game, Tim also received these instructions."

During the 2005 postseason, Mavs owner Mark Cuban did in fact complain after his team lost to the Houston Rockets in the first two games of their series, and Dallas went on to beat Houston in seven games. Jeff Van Gundy, then the coach of the Rockets, said that an NBA official had told him about the league's plan to closely monitor moving screens by Yao Ming, and Van Gundy was ultimately fined $100,000 for his comments regarding the situation. Van Gundy later backed off his comments.

During halftime of the Lakers-Celtics game on Tuesday, Van Gundy, a commentator for the game, said that while he still thinks Yao was unfairly targeted, he does not lend any credibility to what Donaghy has to say.

Stern said he had not yet read the letter filed on Donaghy's behalf, but that portions of it had been read to him.

"My reaction to Donaghy's lawyer are that clearly as the date of sentencing gets closer, and the things that he's thrown against the wall haven't stuck, he's rehashing a variety of things that have been given to the U.S. Attorney and the FBI, fully investigated, and are baseless," Stern said. "We have been asked to cooperate for the last year by providing people and answering questions, and we've done that. And our understanding is that the investigation is just about wrapped up waiting for the sentencing of Mr. Donaghy, and as he continues desperately to somehow get out of the fact that he is subject to a longer sentence possibly than his co-conspirators, there are this continuing flow of allegations from, don't forget, an admitted felon. So they're baseless."

Also Tuesday, Lakers coach Phil Jackson was asked about the allegations regarding Game 6 of the 2002 series against Sacramento.

"Was that after the fifth game, after we had the game stolen away from us after a bad call out of bounds and gave the ball back to Sacramento and they made a 3-point shot?" he said. "There's a lot of things going on in these games and they're suspicious, but I don't want to throw it back to there."

Jackson also was asked if he agreed with the notion that there were officials that were "NBA company men" who were doing this for the sake of ratings.

"Only us basketball coaches think that," Jackson said. "Nobody else can go to that extreme. They referee what they see in front of them. You know, a lot of things have happened in the course of the Tim Donaghy disposition. I think we have to weigh it as it comes out, and we all think that probably referees should be under a separate entity than the NBA entirely. I mean, that's what we'd like to see probably in the NBA. It would just be separate and apart from it. But I don't think that's going to happen."

Lamell McMorris, head of the NBA referees union, also issued a statement:

"Tim Donaghy has had honesty and credibility issues from the get-go," the statement reads. "He is a convicted felon who has not yet been sentenced for the criminal conduct he has already admitted to. He may be willing to say anything to help his cause and he may believe these most recent allegations will help his agenda. I'm not aware of any improper conduct by any current NBA referee in the playoffs six years ago or any conspiracy by the NBA to affect the outcome of any game then or now. Frankly we're tired of Tim Donaghy's cat and mouse games."

Donaghy's letter said that in the first of several meetings with prosecutors and the FBI in New York in 2007, he named names. He faces up to 33 months in prison.

Donaghy's attorney and federal prosecutors declined to comment to The Associated Press on Tuesday.

New Street Fighter Movie. Kristin Kreuk As Chun Li?

So they are trying to reboot the Street Fighter movies. I dunno but even though the first one sucked, and the casting was insane, it is a guilty pleasure of mine.

But why is it set to suck? The movie is about Chun Li. No Ken. No Ryu. But! It does have Michael Clark Duncan as Balrog. And the awesome Neal McDonough as M. Bison. And, that one weird looking dude from the Black Eyed Peas as Vega. So it won't be all that bad. Right? Oh yeah, and Kristin Kreuk is Chun Li. Yeah the chick from Smallville. I

That is all good and well but seriously. This movie is all about Chun Li and her origins and all that happy horse shit but who the fuck cares? When I was a kid and we would have Street Fighter battles for hours on end on the SNES. No one, NO ONE, played as Chun Li, she was fuckin worthless. Ryu was the fuckin man. Get anyone, and play me as Ryu and I will destroy your face off. And Ken! Ken kicked ass.

So go see this movie. Why? The producers claim that this is just the Chun Li movie. If sequels come, we will get our Ryu movie. Which suits me just fine. Now, how about a reboot of Mortal Kombat?

Related Content:
Kristin Kreuk bio, nudity review, pics and clips at

Monday, June 9, 2008

Captain America Also In The Incredible Hulk! Hulk Smash!!!!

As if Tony Stark appearing in The Incredible Hulk isn't awesome enough. Marvel has decided that we also get to see Captain America appear. I had a feeling we would see something having to do with Captain America since the previews for The Incredible Hulk feature the super soldier serum. Louis Leterrier the director revealed on Attack Of The Show that he may be appearing in the flesh. As you may remember, the Captains shield made a blurred obscured cameo in Iron Man.

The Incredible Hulk is out this Friday. I will be there, movie hopping to see this before I hope over to see The Happening. And if you wanna get pumped up, hear Hulk speak right below!


Sunday, June 8, 2008

Tony Stark In The Incredible Hulk! See It Here!

Here is the TV Trailer for The Incredible Hulk which features Tony Stark AKA Iron Man!

Saturday, June 7, 2008

CKY is back together. 4th album when?

Few months ago CKY disbanded. And was acting like a bunch of fuckin bitches. And pretty much turned into everything they stood against for years. Bickering, crying, all kinds of stupid high school girl shit.

Well it seems they realized what they were doing, and have gotten back together. They were in the middle of recording their 4th album, (their first album with their new record label Roadrunner, since dropping Island.) And according to Deron Lead Singer Of The Band Miller, they continue work on the new album tomorrow. And look to finish it up by the end of July. No word if a tour will happen soon after, which I would not doubt since they tour more than any other band I have ever seen.

But the real question is, are they really back together? Or are they just back because Roadrunner Records is forcing them to finish this album and once it is completed, will they part ways again? Time will tell.

New CKY album, due this Fall/Winter, ish.

Phoenix Suns New Head Coach Is Terry Porter!

This news makes me very happy. I am so so glad that Mike D'Antoni is gone. Mike is the main reason behind the Suns choke fests every year in the playoffs. Mike has gone on to now be the head coach for the New York Knicks, ha, good luck with that.

But the news is that Terry Porter is the new head coach for the Phoenix Suns. He signed a 3 year 7 million dollar contract. He is a former head coach for the Milwaukee Bucks and did a pretty great job there. After his job there he then went on to be the assistant coach for the Detroit Pistons. Now the fans of the Phoenix Suns will see more than just 8 players. Mike D'Antoni was famous for only playing 8 players in his rotation while everyone else, especially the rookies, sat almost every game. The only time you would actually see some of the deep bench players was if the Suns were up by 20 or more points with 5 minutes remaining in the game.

Friday, June 6, 2008

Too Gay, Or Not Too Gay? That Is The Question!

For awhile now, someone around here has been questioned of his gayness. Most say he is, he claims he is not. So my question to you all is. What makes someone gay? What things would a gay person be into and like to really make them gay? What type of actions would a gay person take? Their behavior? What would it be?

To me, gayness comes in many forms. For example, if you get mad at someone you know, and have an argument and your FIRST reaction, is to immediately run and delete them off of your MySpace. That, is an act of gayness.

If you blog, about everything in your personal life, and in every blog you are crying, or whining, about something, thats kinda gay. But if the stuff you are crying and whining about is stupid shit, that no guy would really care about, or no guy would actually have those problems, that makes you gay beyond belief.

Listening to fruity music that only 15 year old girls love, like Good Charlotte, or All American Rejects, thats pretty damn gay. And when you go on to use quotes from songs by said bands to describe your current lifes problems. That is red alert gay.

Doing sing along songs in the car with your Mom is kinda gay. Not fully gay, but when you admit it to the world that you love doing that, then it becomes full on gay.

If you are a guy, and you cry, I mean physically tears down the face cry, over something someone says to you. And cry so much and so hard that you physically vomit from it. That is gay.

When you drink foofoo drinks, nonstop, and nothing else. That is pretty gay. 1 foofoo drink every now and then is fine, but if you just LOVE them, and drink nothing else but them, that's pretty damn gay.

When you take what people, especially strangers, off of the internet say to you way too seriously and throw fits and get angry about it, to the point that you scream I QUIT IM NEVER WRITING AGAIN! And then the very next day, write something, thats not just childish, thats mega gay.

If you do Jagerbombs. That isn't gay. If you BRAG about doing Jagerbombs. Then you are gay.

If you are a guy, and you have tons and tons of friends who are all girls. That you just love to hang out with and do silly things, and not a damn single one of them wants anything to do with you dating/sex related. And has no friends that they would know of that would be interested in that either. That makes you gay. Because then they see you as one of them, and they like the dick.

You dressed up like a care bear for Halloween as a child. That's gay.

When you play in E-Feds and other role playing games, thats ok, if you're a kid. But if you are a grown ass man and STILL taking that shit seriously. Gay. Superman Gay.

If you go and take all of the above listed and throw it into a blender, what type of person would emerge from this concoction? My theory, a seriously gay dude. But what about you faithful readers? What do you think makes someone gay that I have not mentioned above?

Now if you will excuse me, I have to wash my hair.

Thursday, June 5, 2008

Little People Big World Death. Mike Detjen Has Died.

Mike Detjen died from a torn aorta. I have a strange obsession with this show, not sure why. It's just freakin awesome. For those that also love the show, but are wondering who the hell Mike is, he is the older guy that was always hangin out with the family, and was mostly featured in the episode where he was injured badly along with the youngest son Jacob in the pumpkin catapult accident.

Filming of season 4 of the show is currently underway so it will be interesting to see if Mikes death is covered, which I'm sure it will. They covered Matt Roloffs drunk driving trial which was cool to watch. Here is the newsletter sent out by Matt Roloff himself.

Yesterday afternoon, as I finished up the summer newsletter and set it to be sent out this morning, I had no idea I would be announcing such tragic news several hours later. It is with the deepest sadness and devastation that we must inform our friends and fans of the passing of our extended family member, Mike Detjen. For the past eight years Mike has been a business partner, brother, coach, friend, and confidant. He was truly like an uncle to our kids. It was with complete and sudden surprise last evening when Mike was rushed to the hospital from his soccer club board meeting. At the time, it was believed he was having a heart attack. Amy and all our kids rushed to the hospital to be by his side. Coherent and alert, Mike was rushed into emergency surgery for a torn aorta. An aortic dissection is very serious, but the prognosis was that they would be able to repair the rupture in the 5+ hour operation. Unfortunately, Mike did not make it through the procedure. Mike passed with many loved ones and friends that cared deeply for him. We especially extend our condolences to Mike's family. Our kids are all devastated and beside themselves with grief. We will miss Mike dearly as a friend and loved one. We celebrate Mike's life as one of compassion and service to those he cared about. He was the driving force behind the area soccer club. He dedicated countless hours and his personal resources to his love of soccer and the local kids that enjoyed it. Mike not only taught my kids to play but how to love the game and practice good sportsmanship as well. Mike was a deeply faithful man, and though we mourn his loss, we take solace in the knowledge that he has gone to his heavenly home. Condolences may be sent to We will be gathering the responses to give to Mike's sons, Tim and Jason Detjen. In lieu of flowers, donations can be sent to the organization Mike was the most passionate about, the Hillsboro Soccer Club. Hillsboro Soccer Club 2074 NW Alocleck Dr., Suite 415 Hillsboro, OR 97124 We are in the process of setting up a donation fund through PayPal. You should be able to give online through our website in the next couple of days. Thank you for sharing our grief and sorrow in this time of earthly heartache.

Transformers 2: Revenge Of The Fallen

That is the official title for the next Transformers movie. Works for me, doesn't really matter cause I'm sure it's gonna kick ass. Plus everyone is going to just call it Transformers 2 anyways. Expect the new movie next summer, with the entire cast from the first one coming back, as well as new Transformers.

We haven't been covering much on the movie, since Michael Bay stated that they would purposely be releasing false information to throw everyone off. So fuck for all I know it wont be called Revenge of the Fallen. Who knows. Who cares, give me Dino-Bots!!!!!!!

Filming began just a couple days ago on the movie, I would post some set pictures but, they're not really much to look at. No shots of anything but explosions which we've all seen before.

Fuck You, Brian Austin Green!

Yes, fuck Brian Austin Green. The dude from Beverly Hills, 90210.

And you know why? Because he's the boyfriend of Megan Fox, and Megan Fox just can't have enough sex it seems. Recently she was interviewed, and She said: "I really enjoy having sex, and that's offensive to some people. Women are the quickest to call other women sluts, which I think is sad. I haven't met a lot of men who have said, 'You like having sex? What a dirty whore you are.' "

Megan, who is only 21, has also confessed it doesn't take much to get her in the mood for sex, because her raging hormones leave her in a permanent state of arousal. She's like a bitch in heat, for fucksakes.

She added: "I'm young and have a lot of hormones - I'm always in the mood! But I like sex with one person when I'm in a relationship. Sex with random people who I've met at clubs is not really my thing. I'd rather stay home and have sex all day, than even leave the house."

Are you fucking kidding me?! With Brian Austin Green?! I mean don't get me wrong, Brian Austin Green is obviously better looking that anyone writing for this website, but you're Megan Fox, you can do better than the guy that sucked face with Tori Spelling for 7 years.

Megan Fox loves to fuck, and she loves to fuck Brian Austin Green.

That sentence is a juxtapose of emotions.

I guess we can see why Brian Austin Green won't sign on to the 90210 remake show. He wants to be home as much as possible, and I can't say that I blame him.

Wednesday, June 4, 2008

Nick Hogan. The Most Hated Celeb In The World? I Say. YES.

I just recently listened to his phone calls from jail to his Mommy. What a little whiny fuckin self centered bitch. He's bitching about being in solitary confinement. He hates being in there by himself with no window and being isolated. Yeah kid, you wanna go into the jails population where you would be either shanked or raped on your first day? Sure, go right ahead, I would laugh my ass off. On top of all this, the Hogans are all pissed because the phone calls are released to the public. When, while they are on the phone with Nick, a voice comes in and lets them BOTH know... THIS CALL MY BE RECORDED OR MONITORED. Fucking idiots. All Linda and Nick complain about is how its unfair to him and this is bullshit and he deserves better than this..... right kid. Let's take a look at the reason why Nick is in there. Racing, drinking underage and driving, then crashing his car, with his friend in it. And doing this to his friend.....Yeah thats a giant fucking dent in his skull. John Graziano is in a coma. And will require lifelong care. His life is over. He will spend the rest of his life in a nursing home. He is a fuckin vegetable. Nick Hogan, 8 months in jail, solitary confinement, away from the other prisoners, gets to read books, shower alone, and make phone calls daily. Gets out of jail in 8 months, and goes back to his normal life. John Graziano? Nursing home, for life, in a vegetative state. Yeah Nick, it is REALLY unfair. If I ever meet Nick Hogan I'm gonna punch him in the throat.

So what did John and Nick do before these tragic events? Nick was on his Dad's TV show. Being worthless, doing nothing important, living with Mommy and Daddy serving no purpose in life but to live off his Dads money. Brooke, his sister, at least was doing something for herself by attempting a singing career. What about John? Oh, he just served in 2 tours of duty in Iraq fighting for his country as a marine. Then comes home after 4 years to get in the car with Douche Hogan and his life is ruined forever. Anyways, below are the full recordings of the phone calls from jail of Nick crying like a little girl about being afraid of the dark, and not being out of his cell. Oh and saying Mommy. I never thought the day would come, where someone more worthless, pathetic, and HATED than Paris Hilton would come along. Nick Hogan makes Paris Hilton look awesome and cool and like someone I would wanna hang out with all the time. She served time in jail and didn't act like a fuckin whiny bitch about it.

Tuesday, June 3, 2008

Don't Break Into The Home Of Noah Herron. You Will Pay!

Noah Herron of the Green Bay Packers, was asleep in his home, when he woke up to hear glass shatter downstairs. He called police.

Meanwhile, downstairs. 2 Men were rooting through all of Noahs things, when one of them saw Noah coming down the stairs. Holding a BED POST that he had unscrewed off of his bed. One burglar got away. While the other burglar, was beaten, by Noah, with a bed post.

So burglars. If you are gonna attempt to break into a home, make sure it's not owned by a 5'11" 218lb NFL Running Back. Cause you're gonna end up getting your ass kicked. The guy that ran off was later caught, and the injured burglar is in the hospital from his bedpost wounds. Both still remain idiotic.

Quentin Tarantinos Next Movie 100% CONFIRMED

At this weekends Rolling Roadshow, which kicks ass by the way its a show where films are shown on the location where the films iconinc scenes were shot, Quentin Tarantino was scheduled to introduce The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly.

Well he canceled, he has canceled all appearances he has on his slate to immediately begin pre-production on, INGLORIOUS BASTARDS. It is his World War II epic that he has been talking about and rumored to make for years and years, even before Kill Bill came along.

If he is beginning work this soon, I would expect this movie to be out no later than Winter 2009. Of course this is just me making a wild guess on the release date. But he is for sure FINALLY making Inglorious Bastards!

Music Video Of The Day: I Wrestled A Bear Once - Tastes Like Kevin Bacon

Over the weekend, I went and had Sirius installed in my car. And I have been a happy camper ever since. Yesterday on the way home from the grocery store, I had it on the metal station and on came this little diddy called, Tastes Like Kevin Bacon, by a band called, I Wrestled A Bear Once.....

Well I went home, and HAD to find more on this band. Watch, and listen. Trust me, just wait for the mood in the song to change, and just when you think shit doesn't get any weirder than this, the dixie horn from Dukes Of Hazzard goes off randomly. Yeah, I have a new favorite band. And yes, that is a girl singing.

Here is their MySpace, with the headline... "Metal Just Got Gay." And they are currently on tour.

Hillary Clinton taps out! Concedes Delgate Race To Obama Tonight!

Thank God. Obama is just 40 delegates away from clinching the nomination which he will surely get today with support and votes in South Dakota and Montana. And Hillary has started preparing to throw in the towel tonight, when Obama will be announced the opponent for John McCain.


Hillary rambled on that she will continue to speak out on health care and other random shit. She also is going to be bugging Obama about him taking her with him and Hillary being Vice President. Blagh. I don't really give a flying crap about politics. I just figured this would be nice for all Obama fans to see.

So it looks like John McCain is set to become the next president. There are far too many racist and hillbilly morons in the world to nominate Obama. I don't really give a crap who becomes the president because either one of them is better than what we got now. If Pauly Shore was running, fine, I'll take the weasel as president. As long as George Bush is out of the White House, cool.

Awesome Incredible Hulk Tidbit! Lou Ferrigno Returns! As Hulk!?

This is something I found out recently and just forgot to post on here cause it's not much a news story or anything, just something really god damn cool.

In The Incredible Hulk, due out in a couple weeks. Hulk will talk in the movie, which is pretty cool cause now maybe we will hear HULK SMASH! But, the best part, Lou Ferrigno is the voice of Hulk! This brings me great glee.

The Masters Of The Universe Update! Script Review! News!

Before Sponge Bob, before Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, one name ruled young boys lives. He-Man. I was one of those fanboys. Having it all, the bedsheets, lunchbox, pajamas, and of course the castle grayskull playset with the trap door and working draw bridge. I had damn near every figure. Then of course, He Man went away after the 2nd season, and Ninja Turtles entered my life. Then came the movie, with Dolph, ugh. God damn it sucked but, it was He-Man, so I would take whatever I could get.

We'll new versions of the cartoon have come and gone, Recently in 2002 a new cartoon came out that I actually just watched the other day when a friend of mine bought the DVD. And it was pretty damn awesome. Well Joel Silver is lined up to produce a NEW Masters Of The Universe movie, and Justin Marks has finished his first draft of the script, and has reviewed it. I won't post the whole review, I will just say the things that matter. And Latino Reviews grade for the new Masters Of The Universe script? A+! It is being said that it is Lord Of The Rings, meets The Matrix, meets Batman Begins. Onward with the important stuff....

The movie will be called Grayskull: The Masters Of The Universe.

Fuck this Earth shit like the first movie. This movie takes place on Eternia!

It's PG-13 but could possibly have an R rated DVD release. No way they'll release this in theaters as an R.

There is no camp, or cheesiness.

No Orko.

It is a very serious script, there is not a single bit of comedy anywhere.

It starts off as an origin story. We get He-Man/Prince Adams origin, Skeletors origin, and the Power Swords origin.

It is being set up as a trilogy.

Trap Jaw, Evil-Lyn, TriClops and Panthor are all there.

Man At Arms, Mekanek, Teela, Zodak, and Battlcat/Kringer are there as well.

And how about some Rotons, Doomseekers and Shadow Beasts for everyone to ride around on?

From the sounds of things, this is the He-Man movie we have all been waiting for. The only problem is, since Joel Silvers last movie, Speed Racer, straight up fuckin BOMBED. Warner Bros might be a little reluctant on this. But we will see.