Wednesday, March 5, 2008

Patrick Swayze has FIVE weeks to live?!

What the fuck?!

According to the National Enquirer, Hollywood actor Patrick Swayze is dying from Pancreatic Cancer, and only has 5 weeks to live!

Say it ain't so!
From the Enquirer:

In a shocking world exclusive, The NATIONAL ENQUIRER has uncovered the devastating news that the beloved Hollywood actor and dancer was diagnosed in late January with pancreatic cancer that has spread to other organs.

Full details are in the print edition of the NATIONAL ENQUIRER that goes on sale tomorrow.

For the past month, Patrick, 55, has been traveling to Stanford University's prestigious cancer center in Palo Alto for radical chemotherapy, but his doctors are no longer optimistic that the treatments will be successful.

Patrick and his wife Lisa Niemi — who both have pilot's licenses — have been flying their private Beechcraft plane into Palo Alto's airport, minutes away from the Stanford Cancer Center, where the actor has received outpatient treatment.

He received three doses of chemotherapy and the tumor shrank, but less than his doctors had hoped for — and Patrick was told he should prepare for the end.

"He was told he could have two more treatments, but his cancer was not responding. In short - they held out little hope for a cure," said an insider.

The man who danced into the hearts of audiences worldwide in the 1980s in Dirty Dancing and then broke them in the poignant love story Ghost in the early '90s has lost more than 20 pounds in the past few weeks and is restricted to a liquid diet because he has trouble keeping down solid food, added the insider.

"It's time to start praying for a miracle."


  1. Let's hope this isn't true.

  2. With sources like the Enquirer how could it not be true?

  3. I actually heard about it on CNN Headline News, and then scoped out the NE site for more details. It's being reported now, a couple hours later, on more and more sites.

  4. Yea despite being first reported by the Enquirer, I heard about it on NY's 95.5 PLJ radio. Not that they are the authority on celeb news either, but I think such an outlet would really look into something before reporting it, especially something from the Enquirer. Hopefully for Patrick's sake they are wrong, but like you said, it's being reported on more and more this morning as the hours pass...

  5. Yes it was on CNN, which CNN got it from.... the National Enquirer.

    I will wait until the news of his death hits before I begin to be depressed. Or until Swayzes reps confirm this news. Then, I shall weep. But I think well be ok since it does after all say...

    "According to the National Enquirer"

  6. I have a background in journalism and reputable media outlets like CNN rerely spread stories unless they have confirmation they are true. I doubt they would run that story before checking their sources. Unless they want a huge lawsuit.

  7. A background in journalism....

    but doesn't know how to spell rarely.

  8. Im calling false on this.

    Only GOSSIP sites are reporting on this. No real news sites have anything at all anywhere. Not even CNN.COM

  9. Clearly a typo, sorry I'm not perfect! :) Journalism degrees generally don't require perfect spelling and typing skills.

    But other than that, really great comeback!!!!

  10. Are you retarded or something?

    Fox News says...

    "according to the National Enquirer."

    Fucks sake.

    I am waiting for

    "according to Patrick Swayze"


    "according to reps for Patrick Swayze."

  11. For FACTS, read the newest blog posted here.

  12. His rep confirmed it.

  13. Uh yeah, no shit Mr. Timeline. Check out the blog above your copied and pasted shit fuck.

  14. Well guess what cocklips, this is the only fucking post I see on here. Guess I need to refresh my cookies.