Tuesday, July 3, 2007

Review: Transformers


I have not felt, the way I felt watching that movie, since I was about 10 years old. When it was first announced that Michael Bay would be making a Transformers movie. I was crushed. I fuckin LOVED my Transformers when I was a kid. Transformers, He Man, Voltron, and Thundercats were fucking IT for me. But then along with Bay helming, I heard news that another man would be very deeply involved with the making of it... Spielberg. Thank god. I rested easy, and prepared.

Then came the first teaser for it, and it had me geeking out. And then the waiting game, even longer, until this day, 20 years in the making. People out there are complaining about OH THERE WAS TOO MANY HUMAN CHARACTERS. Yeah well, there was human characters in the cartoon as well. And honestly, who the hell was really paying that much attention to the humans in this movie anyways?

This review is going to be all over the place, because I literally got out of the theater, got home, and sat down to write this bad boy. Because if you are a Transformers fan, you are going to lose your ever lovin mind over this movie. I have not felt like a 10 year old kid in fucking awe and amazed at what I was watching. Optimus Primes arrival made the entire theater geek out, the transformation sound, seeing the transformers move, talk, just like in the cartoons. And I waited even longer, see even though the Decepticons are the bad guys, my favorite character of them all is Starscream, and holy shit I was not let down at all. The human characters work, the transformers are fucking PERFECT. And holy crap the special effects are amazed, not once did I feel like I was watching computer animated robots, they looked, and seemed real in every single way. The cartoon I loved and cherished as a kid was brought to life in front of my eyes. It was like christmas morning, when I was a little kid, and opened up and saw my Optimus Prime toy there waiting for me in a present. This movie made me so excited, and so happy, and so fuckin relieved that it seems like the only thing I can do to really express my happiness is to throw shit around my apartment and scream out my window AUTOBOTS, LETS ROLL OUT! Holy crap, with Prime says those words in the movie, chills baby, fuckin chills.

Michael Bay, you did good kid, ya did good. I am sorry I ever doubted you. But you better kiss the holy ground that Spielberg walks on, because if he wasn't there to keep you tamed and show you how its done, I fear what might have happened. But it didn't. Ladies, Gentlemen, Newton. Transformers is a fantastic ride at the movies. Go and see it now.

P.S. Sorry this review is pretty much just a geek having an orgasm all over the place, I just do not know how to put into words the complete and utter awesomeness that I just saw. I am also eager to hear Newtons thoughts on the movie.


  1. Finally, I have seen a movie on opening day, and wow, I must agree, this movie is awesome. I wasn't going in as a Transformers expert who could pick apart things they left out from the cartoon, but more of a fan of the era this cartoon came from, who was a semi fan of the old school Transformers. This movie was such a great mix of old school and new school, i can see where some reviews may not like it because they've never seen a bit of Transformers, but to me, they did this right. The story was explained and the history was given and explained (which i'm a huge fan of in movies), the humor was done well (something that can F up a movie big time if overdone), and the action, as expected, was all there, and done very well and realistic looking. This movie definitely felt big time, and I cant see any fans of the old cartoon not liking this. So if you are a Transformers fanatic, i recommend seeing this and not necessarily listening to the reviews out there. Even me having a mild knowledge of the Transformers, was highly entertained by this one.

  2. Meh I had a whole thing typed up, but this fucking shitty blogger deleted it in the 90000000 times it took me to login.

    In a nutshell, it was alright, but not great. Just a movie to get Shia out into stardom.

    I give it a B+ as it was Armageddon with robots and I suppose that's the best you can hope for with a property like Transformers.

    I'm sure the fanatics will love it and the casual folks will see it for what it is, a typical Michael Bay summer mindless popcorn film.

    It's the first good mindless popcorn film of the summer after 2 major disappointments in Pirates and Tobeyman so that's a plus.

  3. Just a movie to get Shia into stardom.... because the sleeper hit Disturbia didn't do that already. As well as Holes, and many other projects. I knew who he was before Transformers was announced.....

    But still, Transformers is loved by the fans of the cartoons. It is in no way the best movie of the year, but it was better than I thought it would be, which works for me.