Or at least that's what big media would lead you to believe. All the pundits and the usual ragtag crew of FOX News have been going on and on all morning about how marijuana is a gateway drug and Michael Phelps is leading the children of America to drug-induced frenzies. (video when I can find it) PLEASE!! Come on! I mean really, REALLY?
Let's be honest for a minute. I've smoked a lot of this stuff in my day, and never, and I do mean never, has it ever made me want to do any other drugs. If anything, getting drunk has lead me to experiment with other drugs. Getting drunk... or girls. But never pot. Never once have I smoked pot and thought to myself "man if this is this good, maybe I should try ecstasy or cocaine!" Not even once. Never.
Now, Michael Phelps, AMERICAN OLYMPIC HERO, Michael Phelps, has smoked some weed, and suddenly everyone in America is in an uproar. Kelloggs dropped him this morning, citing they couldn't continue to be his sponsor and condone this behavior. USA Swimming, this morning, suspended Phelps for 3 months! All this dude does is swim, and he's been suspended for smoking a little pot. For all we know, he hit that bong one time. We don't even know if he inhaled! And you know what I wanna know, who is the fucking douche who snapped that picture and then probably made a fast 50k off it? That guy needs to get his ass kicked. If I were Michael Phelps I would use my Olympics millions and find that dude and kick his ass. I would.
So now, they're all talking about how Phelps is setting a terrible example for kids. Let me tell you something, the first time I ever smoked some weed, I was not thinking to myself "shit man, if the president does it, and cheech marin does it, maybe I should do it too?" Hell no, I was hanging out with friends who said "here bro, try this out" and I did it. I did it because I wanted to. Every time I ever smoked after that, it was because I wanted to. Not because I saw some celebrity doing it, or thought it made me look or seem cool. Most of the time I was alone, and then you know what I did? I didn't accidentally shoot my best friend in the face, or melt in to a blob of skin. I went to sleep. I smoked some weed, and I got a good night's sleep. My own DOCTOR says to me "if it helps you sleep, and you're using it in moderation, then that's okay." Of course, naturally, he couldn't officially condone it, because then he'd probably lose his license, but even that dude knows its no big deal. He'd probably rather I did that, then have to prescribe me some low dose Zanax bullshit. I'm a light sleeper and sometimes anxiety keeps me up at night. I'm a hoooooorrible person!
Long story short, this all makes me aggravated. Michael Phelps is a good dude, who busted his ass for YEARS to win some gold medals. That dude lived in a pool... so if he wants to light up a spliff or hit the bong, I say more power to him. He deserves it.
UPDATE: Subway dropped Phelps too. Which is fucked up, cuz when I get the munchies Subway is one of the first places I think to go. :(
Note from G.C.:
I am glad to see Devon's thoughts on this issue. I had previously posted about Michael Phelps Smoking a Bong and how it was not a big deal AT ALL. I just talked to Money D and he doesn't think it's a big deal either. So there you have it. People who smoke a lot of the stuff don't understand the uproar and neither do people who have never touched the stuff. The majority ( possibly all) of the writers at Devon Lohan think all of the people making a big deal about this are a Bunch of Fucking Idiots.
That said, I will be starting a series of "Who Fucking Cares?" weekend articles. My focus will be defending people who are unfairly targeted and demonized by society and the media. I will be defending people who commit consensual "crimes"- drug users, misanthropes, anti-social jerks, people who are hated because they are great,etc. As I've said, I have never used an illegal drug and never been in trouble with the law. I am not saying that to brag, but to provide perspective. A lot of Phelps haters have been saying stupid shit like " If you defend this guy, it's because you are a Dope Head,too." And my point is: I don't touch the stuff and I see nothing wrong with it. I DO have a problem with hysterical idiots who defend violence, idiotic nonsense and whatever else to fight wars against their fellow citizens who do things like smoke weed or other private and consensual acts that do not in any way threaten the public or the person or property of any individual. There are millions of decent people who use drugs and millions of non-users who support their right to do so.
My next column is going to focus on Steroids in baseball ( another subject that pisses me off) and why I don't give a fuck that A-Rod tested positive in 2003. I would also like to thank the federal government, the media, and a bunch of idiots, for turning Barry Bonds into one of my favorite players of all time.