Story time kids, gather around, sit on the rainbow carpet. It is time to tell the tale of the greatest horror movie ever made. Halloween. To me, Michael Myers is the best slasher horror monster of them all. Sure Jason, Freddy, Chucky, Leatherface, and a slew of others all are good, but great? No. None of them felt real, at all. And honestly Chucky was the least scariest, just a fuckin doll. Jason well he turned into a baby when he hit some water, Freddy is afraid of fire. And well Leatherface, just run away. But Michael? Nothing stopped him, no water, no fire, not running away. If Myers wanted to kill you, he would. And that scared me, because to me, Myers could be real, Myers could be behind a tree in my yard, god knows what. Not only that but, above the others, Myers also has the most bad ass theme music ever. Halloween had changed my life. Just this past summer I made a trip to Pasadena CA. To walk the streets in the neighborhood where Myers killed all those damn kids. Here are a couple pics.
I was about 12 years old or so. And my parents owned a video store and my brother had recently showed me The Evil Dead. And I was craving more horror, and my Mom, who denies it to this day, suggested to me that I watch Halloween. No see I was 12 years old, but I wasn't stupid. I knew movies weren't real. I could handle some R rated horror madness. So later that night, my Mom laid back in the recliner, I sat on the couch. And got ready. My Mom turned to me and said, I know you know this, but this is only a movie, Ok? I shook my head, and that Pumpkin lit up the screen, that Halloween theme came on, and it was go time.
The movie ended, and I was scared out of my ever lovin mind. Fuck going to bed that night, wasn't going to happen. And I loved it. I needed more, craved more. The next day I demanded to watch Halloween 2. So I did. This dude that worked at my Moms video store warned me to not watch Halloween 3, I would just regret it and hate it. Well I said forget you buddy, I need more Halloween!!! Well yeah, he was right. Fuck Halloween 3.
Well 8 movies have come out. All about Halloween, well 7 technically. And I love 6 of them. Part 2 was great, Part 4 and 5 were awesome. Part 6 rules but only because it had some Paul Rudd greatness in it who kicked ass then and I am really glad hes a big name now. And H2O was the first one that I got to see in the theater, and even that one I loved. The moment when Jamie Lee sees Michael through that window in the door to me is one of the most iconic moments in movie history. Then of course came Halloween 8... with Busta Rhymes.... fucks sake. I knew right then that the franchise was dead, no more. Gone.
Then came the good news / bad news.... A new Halloween was going to be made. But... Rob Zombie was going to remake it. A fucking remake. Shit was so thrown in the air, and confused, I had no idea how to take it. I mean, Rob Zombie was alright, if anyone else was remaking this it would be a damn mockery. House of 1000 Corpses was just a crazy remake of Texas Chainsaw. Devils Rejects was just a remake of Natural Born Killers with a Thelma and Louise ending. And now instead of remaking something and calling it something else, hes just straight up remaking Halloween. Needless to say, I was pissed. Why a remake?! Why not just, make part 9 and have it go in a totally different direction? Restart the franchise with a new one! Ugh.
The day came when the trailer for Rob Zombies Halloween made its debut online. Well I was impressed. It looked like it could actually be good. Then I started thinking things out more and more. Well SOME remakes, are actually not all that bad, The Fly is great. The Hills Have Eyes was pretty good. And hell, John Carpenter himself did a remake of The Thing and it kicked ass and is remembered more than the original! But this is HALLOWEEN!! I have been reading some reviews that are just god awful from the sneak previews. I am trying to keep my mind open. I am hoping for the best. And people keep telling me "Dude, this doesn't mean that the original Halloween is gone." Well in a way, yes it will be. Look at The Thing, anyone remember the original? Not only that but from now on I have to alter the way I talk about Halloween, I now need to make it clear which Halloween I am talking about. This Friday I will of course be in line to see it, not because its a remake, but just because its Michael Myers. And hes in a new movie.