Saturday, April 19, 2008

The Phoenix Suns Will Always Choke in the Playoffs and Thats a Fact

The Phoenix Suns Will Always Choke in The Playoffs and Thats a Fact.

The NBA basketball playoffs are starting and that can only mean one thing- The Phoenix Suns will choke. Today they play the boring San Antonio Spurs. Now I like the Suns as much as the next guy ( even though they choke in the playoffs), and hate the Spurs. The Spurs include a dirty cheater who trips guys and jumps on their feet, a Guy nicknamed "Big Fundamental" who can't shoot freethrows, and the wife of some bitch off Desperate housewives. But the Spurs do not choke in the playoffs.

There are a few reasons The Suns will always choke in the playoffs.

1. Steve Nash. There is a reason Mark Cuban did not re-sign Steve Nash. Don't get me wrong. I am a huge Steve Nash fan. I was a fan back in 1996 when he was in college and almost no one thought this white kid from Canada would ever start in the NBA, let alone be a two-time MVP. But, Steve Nash chokes in the playoffs. He has played his entire career on many very good Dallas and Phoenix teams that should have won it all but didn't. When he went to Phoenix, the Suns got a lot better but Dallas didn't get any worse. Steve Nash does not lead teams in the playoffs. Phoenix chokes in the playoffs. So The Suns will always choke in the playoffs.

2. Deputy Shaq the Hack. The Suns got Shaq so Phoenix would not choke in the playoffs. The Matrix was leaving anyway, and they got a Hall of fame player in return. Not bad. But Shaq has never won it all by himself. He has always had Kobe or D Wade. Nash is no Kobe or Dwyane Wade, that's for sure. Neither is Grant Hill. Grant Hill drinks Sprite, like your fat uncle with arthritis. Dwyane Wade drinks Gatorade, like Mike. Shaq was always surrounded with superstars like Rick Fox and Robert Horry. He also had great clutch point guards like Derek Fisher. Steve Nash is no Derek Fisher; he isn't even Jason Williams.

3. Timmy Duncan. Like Shaq, Tim can't shoot free throws. But the greatest Power Forward of all time doesn't need to shoot free throws. Not when he has the all-world supporting cast of Tony Longoria, Chuck Finley, Brenda Barry, and Mano Geblowme. When Shaq gets the ball inside these days, he has trouble dunking over Earl Boykins. Anyone can foul him and watch him shoot free throws like some Third World kid who has never seen a basketball. Timmy Duncan can kick it out to one of his soccer teammates, who will head the ball into the hoop with amazing accuracy.

Tim Duncan is a leader and he elevates his teammates. Like Michael "Chuck" Finley ( I call him "Chuck" because of his amazing shooting ability and seamless replacement of the "Rifleman" Chuck Person, not because his wife beats him up on the way to games). We all know Mark Cuban hates the Suns. How much does he hate Phoenix? He pays Michael Finley $15 million a year to play for ANOTHER team. This way Finley can take out the rival Suns with his devastating 34% jumpshot. When you include the daughter of the Legendary Rick Barry, the amazing Argentine ballhandler, and Eva Longoria's wife- The Spurs have too many weapons to handle.

I hope the underdog Phoenix Suns can over come long odds and make their way through the playoffs. I just don't think they can do it though. Maybe if Steve Kerr suits up himself and gives them a hand.

Just know one thing for sure: The Phoenix Suns will always choke in the playoffs.
And thats a Fact


  1. Always choke? I wont agree there.

    As for your reasons WHY they would choke? I cant agree either. Nash is one of the BEST clutch shooters in the league. Hack a Shaq isn't going to work too well since Shaqs free throw percentage is the highest its been in his career. And Tim Duncan is good but when up against Shaq, he is weaker.

    As for todays game, it was the Suns fault. They had plenty of chances to seal the deal and didnt do it. Amare fouling out didnt help matters.

    Now people, mostly D are gonna give me shit for the Suns losing today. But I never called a Suns SWEEPING the Spurs, the Suns will probably lose again in this series. But I still feel in the end, the Suns will win round 1 of the playoffs.

    Now if they DONT, the only person to blame is Mike DAntoni, coach of the Suns. Who during tonights game, drew up some of the WORST plays I have ever seen him play. He plays cold guys when hot guys are sitting. He draws up insane plays that never work.

    Also, the true definition of CHOKING in sports is when a better team is beaten down by the worse team. And the Spurs are defending world champs with a better record, the Suns arent. The Suns losing, is typical, not choking.

  2. Also, Im still calling Suns in 6.

    Mainly because, Im getting married on May 3rd, which is when Game 7 would be.

  3. Dwayne Wade may drink gatorade, but hes also not in the playoffs. The Miami Heat finished the season in LAST place.

  4. Dwayne Wade drinks Gatorade at home, watching Grant Hill, drink Sprite, in the Playoffs.