Thursday, June 28, 2007

Random Villains: Top Songs That Helped Me Get Laid

Back in high school, there was really only one point in living. Sex. Lots of it. And back in high school, thats exactly what I did. The back seat of my old 94 Dodge Shadow was the place to be if you were me and a chick. So what helped out in these moments? The old tradition of some smooth tunes. So here is a list, and a few rememberances, of these songs.... Oh yeah, click on the titles, and go listen for yourself.

Sneaker Pimps - 6 Underground

God damn this was some fuckin SMOOOOOTH shit. This song I remember clearly, went down after the Talent Show in Junior High. My girlfriend just performed in the talent show and we left the school and immediatley went to our spot.

K-Ci and JoJo - All My Life

What girl back in the 90s didnt lose their fucking minds over this song? No foreplay or smooth talkin needed when it came to this song. I slipped this CD into the ol CD player, and it was go time baby.

Brian McKnight - Back at One

Hell ANY damn Brian McKnight song did the trick back then. I just chose this one back it got the most plays. Only problem with Brian McKnight songs is, they can go one of two ways. Either get the girls into a freaky fuckin mood, or make them break down and cry like bitches, in which case had to be booted from the shadow.

LL Cool J - Doin it

This was probably the most horniest damn song in high school. I remember I was hanging out at this girls house, she was babysitting her sister, her sister was asleep in bed. And we went into my friends room and she turned on the radio, and were just hangin out then BANG. Power 92 comes on with some fuckin LL, next thing I know, bumpin uglies.

Usher - Nice and Slow

Sweet jesus did girls lose their ever lovin minds over this song. I remember at the talent show (different one) this friend of man sang this damn song on the stage, got into the shit big time. And I fucking kid you not, the school suspended him because he was "too sexual" on stage. And he was just SINGIN! And girls were losin their fuckin MINDS!

Boyz II Men - I'll Make Love To You

You know this shit had to be on here somewhere. Yet another song that damn near every girl in the world would lose their fuckin minds over. What the hell ever happened to music like this? I can't think of one fucking song thats out these days that would go anywhere on this list, poor kids in high school have to depends on old school shit to get them laid.

Aerosmith - Don't Wanna Miss A Thing

Shitty movie this is from, but the high school girlfriend proclaimed this "our song" ugh. Only reason its on here is because shed put this on in the CD player as her way to say, "Hey, fuck time, lets go." Ahhh the good ol days.

TLC - Red Light Special

Does t his really need much of an explination?

R Kelly - Bump n Grind

Nothin wrong with it, until you pee on them huh R Kelly? Thanks for ruining this song ya sicko!

Seal - Kiss From A Rose

Well this song did the trick alright. Then the fuckin movie Batman Forever came out and ruined everything, thanks Shumacher, just because you don't fuck girls doesn't mean you gotta ruin it for all of us.

Bryan Adams - Love A Woman
Bryan Adams - Everything I Do
Bryan Adams - All For Love

Bryan Adams tore shit up when it came to wantin to get laid. Every damn girl loved her a guy that had some Bryan Adams ready to go. Another girlfriend of mine proclaimed two of the above as "our songs" and I said alright, because Bryan Adams is A O K in my book.

Edwin McCain - I'll Be

This song = LAID

And the final song, the one song, THE fuckin song that always got the job done if all the other songs above would fail ya.....

Silk - Freak Me

So there ya have it folks, those songs did it for me, try some of them out on some of the girls you know, let me know if it worked the charm like it did for me. Post some comments if I missed some songs that you think should be on the list. Enjoy. Get laid.

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