Alright kiddies, llive Raw review time. What is a live Raw review you ask? Well I review and give my thoughts on whats happening on Raw, as I watch it. So beware! Many typos and shitty grammar will follow, because I am watching TV and typing at the same time ya ass!
Ok, first time watching Raw in over 2 months, its starting now, here we go!
Vince is reading his speech, blah blah blah.
I can not, fucking, stand Cena. He is the MAIN reason that after years and years, of being a huge WWE fan and watching Raw religiously that I STOPPED watching this shit, fucking Cena is a talentless piece of shit, and Edge is greatness. This match is pointless, Cena will win, nobody apparently can beat him, so fuck it. I call it right now, Cena wins.
HAHAHAH WOW IM WRONG! Edge wins by countout! Fuck it, Ill take it! Any Cena loss, is a good loss. Why? Because Edge has wrestling smarts, and Cena fucking blows!
WTF is happening to the screen? This is weird, Im scared. Uh, The Great Khali drafted to Smackdown, wasnt he just on Smackdown a couple months ago? Yay?Fucking GAY. Hopefully no douche bag had The Great Khali in his Raw e fed cause now hes screwed and even a bigger loser for having that guy as an e fed character than he is for even playing that shit in the first place.
Hey look the castrol gtx commercial! With Goldberg! No, not the wrestler, the dude in the car in the drive thru that gets the oil dumped on him is in fact, Goldbgerg from The Mighty Ducks! I shit you not.
Ahhhh back when Vince was announcing, back when Raw was good and interesting. Loved it. I remember in those days I QUIT my job at Blockbuster because they were gonna make me work a Monday night. Fuck that. Jesse The Body. Fuckin awesome, god damn sexual tyranosaurus. Night of champions at Vengeance, also known as, still wont order it. So fuck it. Main event is... something weird that I dont get since I kinda blocked Coach out. Uh oh Raw vs ECW time. Here comes CM Punk AKA The Most Overrated Piece Of Shit. Seriously wtf is up with people going ape shit for that guy, he sucks.
OH SHIT PRINCE COMMERCIAL!! FUCK YES PRINCE RULES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Boo yaa, now go jump in the waters of lake minnitonka to get purified bitches, i want to see asses, i, want, perfection.
Uh oh Carlito vs CM Hack. OH DUDE FUCKIN STRAIGHT EDGE IS THE WAY TO FUCKIN BE CAUSE ITS SO HARDCORE!! DURRRRRRRRR blow me. Carlito, underused. Could be doing huge mathes bigger angles but instead hes doing shit all the time. Take a nap during this match. I wonder if this Socko energy drink is the drink that Eric Bischoff and Jason Hervey put together. Yes, Im serious, Bischoff and yes THAT Jason Hervery of Wonder Years and Monster Squad fame, made an energy drink. Ill try it, I like me a good energy drink sometimes. Why the fuck does CM Punk have the pepsi logo tattooed on him? Dont tell me it means something else, or its actually something else, at first glance by anyone, its the fucking pepsi logo. And just like CM Punk himself, pepsi fucking blows, coke rules its face off. WTF was that Sting in the audience? HEY STINGER STING THIS! CM Punk will win.... ugh. Yep. Well whoever gets drafted to ECW can kiss their careers goodbye. And say hello to TNA. ROFLMFAOOOOOOOOOOOOO OEFJSFJDSKFLHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAA BYE BOOGEYMAN, NICE HAVIN YA IN WWE. Tell Christian I said hi when youre released or quit and go to TNA. This Boogeyman shit is the worst gimmick since the fuckin Goobley Gooker shit. Darth Maul should kick his ass for taking his make up job.
WTF Snoop Dogg? Jimmy Bones is that you!?!
Mmmmmmm taco bell. Those new quesadillas are so good, I think I might have to get one tomorrow for lunch, or do some Burger King and get one of the new western whoppers, cause I like western, and i like whoppers, and when the two come together, OH MAN.
Vince made out with Trish, lucky fucker. YOURRRRRRRRE FIREEEEEEEDDDDDDDDDDD. Vince used to kick so much ass, now hes boring. Blagh. Oh shit Montreal Screw job!!!!!! Foley time. blah blah blah, I always lose matches, blah blah blah, but Im still cool and write good books. Id love to see Foley have a title run, of course never happen, but hey, still would be nice. Thank god there is no Hulk Hogan on tonight, so fuckin sick of him. And wtf is Foley talking about, Bischoff was already on talking about Vince? Wasnt he? Well that was boring.
Yay pointless match, Balls vs Umaga, gee, I wonder who will win, well Smackdown got a pick, ECW got a pick, so obviously Raw will win this match, fucking retarded, WWE sucks. I hate onions. So who will be the pick?? DUNNNNN DUN DUN DUN THE PICK IS..............ROFWAFFLS great, Booker T. Yay.
Oh goodie Benoit vs Lashley... ugh. Hate them both, Benoit is a great wrestler but fucking bores me, and Lashley AKA Negoberg AKA Black Lesner sucks balls. WTF SteveO? Oh yeah, his new show, time to pimp his show, blagh. Great. Cant wait for that shit. Fucks sake. yay, black lesner wins. ugh. So who else is going to ECW to fade away and die? LMFAFOEOOFEOFAFAOFEOFOEOFEOEOO BENOIT TO ECW! SAY HI TO TNA BENOIT!!! Uhhh Mae Young and Moolah? Undressing...... what in the blue hell are the doing?? I wish a hand would come out or something, they need to revisit that angle. Ugh, another shitty match that I dont care about.
Oh shit the Iron Shiek and Superfly!! BRAHDA! Iron Shiek has a shit load of medals. Does anyone understand a full sentence that he says? Play raquetball? What in the hell? Uh yay, Torrie is going to Smackdown. This is the WORST fucking draft ever, fucking stupid pointless annoying moronic wrestlers that do nothing an have zero fucking impact on any brand are being drafted, how about some HUGE fucking drafts? Boogeyman, Torrie, Booker T, Khali, WOW HUGE DRAFTS HAPPENING TONIGHT! Ugh, atleast Bret Hart, the greatest wrestler ever in my pov is up next.
Ok that was kinda lame, he just wants to hit him? OH FOR THE FUCK OF CUM, THE MIZ. I FUCKING QUIT. FUCK THIS HORSE SHIT, THE ONLY THING WORSE THAN CENA IS THE FUCKING MIZ. OH FOR THE CHRIST OF ALL MIGHTY SNITSKY. ugh.... this has gone from bad to SHIT. ugh, this Raw is the same ol shit so far. These drafts are fucking pathetic. Wow, Chris Masters, yay....
Well atleast Roddy Pipper is here. Anything involving him is cool. Too bad hes not always on, too bad all these people appearing like Hart, Piper, Snuka, Shiek, arent being drafted, and instead TORRIE IS GOING TO SMACKDOWN!!! OMFGGG CAN YOU BELIEVE IT?!?!? ...........
OH WOW CANDICE VS SHARMELL MATCH OF THE CENTURY!!! God damn I cant wait till this is over, so far, I have no intention of watching next week.
roflmfaofoaofaoafoafo@ mark cuban GO MAVS RIGHT BUDDY? ROFLMFAO @ YOU CUBAN!!!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAAAAAAAAASSSS
well ok then who is coming to Raw? cant wait for this who will it be?!?!?! OMFG, I OFFICIALLY, FUCKING, QUIT, WATCHING, RAW. WORST, FUCKING, DRAFT, PICK, EVER. FUCKS SAKE. Fucking LASHLEY. Ugh. HA HA HES NOT THE CHAMP ANYMORE. HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAA.
Oh good John Cena in a race car hopefully he fucking crashes and dies. Oh good here comes Jeff Hardy.... Elijah Burke AKA WHO THE HELL ARE YOU? Yay. Piss break. Batista, yay. God damn this sucks. Hey some black dude just jumped out of the crowd and pulled Jeff leg, oh wait thats the Burke guy. Uh oh whos goin to Smackdown? WOOOO RIC FLAIR .... yay. When the hell did Batista and Flair become best friends? Right on Super Mario is coming up! I mean, Captain Lou. Yeah. SUPER MARIO BROS SUPER SHOW! YO! ITS THE MARIO BROTHERS, AND PLUMMINGS OUR GAME! Is it just me or does Captain Lou look like someone Chris Hansen would bust?
Dusty Rhodes lisp mania time. Mean Gene time now.. .blah blah blah. This is boring, blah.
Battle Royal time, by the way, THE NEW BREED is the worst fucking name for a stable EVER. The New Breed of SHIT? Why is Eugene a fucking Superhero? Why the fuck did Henry just throw his own guy out? Tracy Morgan dressed as Apollo is the best thing to happen on the USA channel in years. Ok so this is the worst battle royal ever, smackdown guys are trying to throw each other out. This makes ZERO fucking sense. Uh oh, Orton time baybeh!!! RKO TIME!!! DO IT!!! Hardy is goin over the rope right now, here it comes.... hehehehehe here it comes! HAHAAAA KNEW IT. PWNED. HEYYY NOTHING YOU CAN SAYYYY NOTHINGS GONNA CHANGE WHAT YOU DONE TO MEEEHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. Tee fucking hee Raw is boring as fuck. Uh oh last draft pick....... who is coming to Raw?
what in the fuck?
Oh wait, now the REAL final pick....... YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
RAW HAS JUST GOT..........
Now if every pick was like that, then Raw woulda kicked major ass tonight. Oh well. Now on with this HUGE CRAZY ENDING that everyones been telling me about. Did Stone Cold say he filled Vinces convertable up with semen? Stone Cold should look at the box office numbers, realize hell never be a movie star, and come back and wrestle. Ok well Vince is out now, whats gonna happen now.... he has that fucking look in his eyes like Backlund had when Hart beat him at Mania and was saying LIGHT!!!! I SEE LIGHT!!!!!!!!! AHAHHA god damn the good ol days ruled. Ok so Vince says thank you and drops the mic....... Does the Backlund look....... Ok so, the big huge ending is apparently.... Vince doing nothing, literally? This was seriously the most idiotic, pointless, random, weird, fucked, stupid, shit, ever. There better be something else cause that was just stupid. Ok theres more.... of him walking and looking like Backlund...... uh ok then. DAMN. Yeah your limo is that way....... uhhhhhhhhhhhh................. Vince is walking like he has the shitty walk, ran out of toilet paper or something. What, in the name of dog shit is happening? ROFLMFAOFORFRLFKWAFFLESSSSSSSSSZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ
MR KENNEDY WAS NOT THE LAST DRAFT PICK.....
WWE HAS DRAFTED....
MICHAEL BAY!! TO RANDOMLY BLOW UP SHIT ON RAW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
THAT WAS THE MOST RETARDED ASS SHIT TO EVER HAPPEN IN THE FUCKING HISTORY OF WRESTLING!!!!!!! ROFLMFAOOOOOOOOOO WHAT IN THE NAME OF FUCK, EPITJEWTKRETG I FUCKING QUIT.