Saturday, May 5, 2007

Devon's Spidey 3 Review!...sort of.

Originally Tony and I were expected to maybe have contrasting points of view about Spiderman 3, but in the end, we ended up having basically the same opinions. Which might explain why we're as good of friends as we rather than repeat most of the same things he had to say, I'm going to do my own spin on a Spiderman 3 review...

First and foremost, the thing I took from Spidey 3 more than anything else...

Bryce Dallas Howard is WAY hotter as a blond. Damn! The ill-fated Gwen Stacey outshines the droll Mary Jane Watson in this movie, in every way imaginable. Fans of the classic comic already know Gwen's unfortunate outcome, and if they go through with making more of these franchise blockbusters, I'm sure we'll see it take place in one way or another. In this movie, Gwen Stacey, portrayed by Bryce Dallas Howard, is the alternate source of female attention for Peter Parker, once he's cast out by Mary Jane. It's during this part of the film that we're treated to a new Peter Parker. A Peter Parker most of us aren't used to seeing....Peter Parker meets Queer Eye for the Straight Guy! Peter, under the spell of the black symbiote costume, finds himself attracting women left and right, and it's during this scene that we see him undergo a transformation from nerdy shy guy, to suave and sophisticated hip cat. His fashion switch looks like something only Carson Kressley (pictured right) could dream up. Suddenly we find Peter escorting the beautiful Miss Stacey to aswank jazz club, complete with singing waitresses...enter Mary Jane. What ensues next, is the closest thing you'll ever find to ridiculous in this trio of movies, but if you're a fan of Sam Raimi, it's something you should come to expect. People not familiar with Sam's work, are most likely going to bawk at the scene, but regardless of how cheesy it is or not, it still serves its purpose. All of this however, leads me to my only real gripe for the movie.

Peter's hair.

I'm not sure if it was part of Raimi's vision, or something the costume designers thought up, but the blatant use of Tobey Maguire's bangs, in combination with black eye liner, and what I assume was black Manic Panic hair dye, we were forced to bare witness to....EMO SPIDERMAN. Good lord... It's not just that, there's even a clip where Parker stops in front of his mirror, and pulls the bangs down over his eyes. The sheer fact that Parker would go out of his way to pull his bangs down, makes me question the sexuality of the symbiote. Suddenly, I'm staring at the screen, not sure if I'm watching Heroes, sitting at a Bright Eyes concert, or reviewing a DVD copy of Little Nicky. Either way, this whole "emo" Parker thing was - for me - the worst part of the movie.

Did I mention how hot Bryce Dallas Howard was?

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