Monday, January 14, 2008

Random Villain: For President. For You.

I am throwing my hat in bitches. That is right. Now I know I can not get on any official ballots and shit but, that is where the wonderful WRITE IN starts.

I am asking all of you, my fellow droogies to write me in on your ballots. I am for you, for the people. I give you what you want and then some. As for what I would do as president, here are my plans....

I would change the legal drinking age in every state to 18. Why? Well lets face it, kids get alcohol anways even if they're not 18. This will reduce crime, like kids stealing beer, as well as secure me a vote from every single person ages 18 - 20.

Here is the catch, as I would increase the DUI law. If you are busted for a DUI, automatic year in jail. No question. For every DUI after that, add a year. So if you are busted yet AGAIN for a DUI, you get 2 years Busted three times? Make it 3 years. If you are driving drunk, hit and kill someone. Make it LIFE. See who fucks around then.

I would make marijuana legal. I don't smoke, but I am sick of idiot stoners running around saying LEGALIZE IT! So there, its legal, now shut the hell up. Also like beer for kids, people get this stuff anyways.

For every single cop in the country, I would change the rules for them. If a suspect is running from you, shoot them in the legs. Do whatever it takes to take a suspect out. If a suspect gives you lip, bust that lip with a night stick. Criminals run all over doing whatever thinking they're bad asses because police have so many rules and laws against them. If cops were more like John McClane and Dirty Harry, I know I wouldn't dare try to commit a crime.

As for the border problem. Well here is what I would do. I understand Mexico sucks, and that they wanna come here for decent work and to them, decent money. So how can we come to a middle ground. How about we have them serve a little time for us. Do something for America. Show how much of an American you really wanna be. That is why every Mexican that wants to come to America would have to serve 1 year in the US Military. After that, they can come on in, and be a US citizen. They put their lives on the line for America, so why the hell not?

If you are at fault in an auto accident, it is an automatic 1 year suspended license. If you are paying attention to what you're doing. Then you should not get into an accident. Don't text, don't fuck with your iPod. Drive. I hate when I am on the freeway and it takes me an hour to get home cause of some retard that crashed on the freeway. It's the fuckin freeway! A road, that goes in only 1 direction. Straight!!!! How the hell can you possibly fuck that up??

I would make it a law that celebrities are NOT allowed to charge for an autograph to fans. Hey fuckheads, the reason you're even making a living and hitting conventions are because of the FANS. They put your ass there, show a little thanks by signing shit for free.

Those are just a small handful of things I would do for MY country. Unlike Bush, our current president, that seems more concerned over OTHER countries and has done only two things for this country, jack and shit. Vote Random Villain. Vote for change!

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