Friday, November 2, 2007

Horror Movies Are Great.... But The Directors of Them? Eh.

People, like myself, worship horror movies. I am more old school though. Horror movies these days are pretty damn terrible, except Saw, but even the Saw movies are ho hum, I mean honestly the characters in those movies are all the same person, you know what youre gonna get when you sit to watch, but its better than the PG-13 horror shit. Like The Ring, ugh.

But that is not what I am here to talk about, what I am talking about is, why are these movies worshipped, and the directors of them considered legends, when really, the directors suck. Lets start off with....

John Carpetner. Now I am starting with him because he is not too shabby. He has some classics under his belt, Halloween, Big Trouble In Little China, They Live, Christine, Escape From New York, The Thing, but what has he done lately? After he made They Live he went on to do Memoirs Of An Invisible Man, remember that movie? I didnt until I looked him up. Then we got shit like Village Of The Damned, Ghosts Of Mars, Vampires, and.... ugh... Escape From LA. And some of his older classics, are only classics because of the cheeseyness of them. Either way, John Carpenter has made some great genere flicks but, he kinda stinks... but not as bad as the rest of these icons of horror....

Wes Craven. Holy fucking crap. Fuck this guy. The ONLY good movie he has done is A Nightmare On Elm Street. The Last House On The Left? Sorry but it was fuckin boring. The Hills Have Eyes? Retarded. And yes, I am one of the few in the world that realize the Scream if a fucking stupid movie. Shocker? People Under The Stairs? Well those are at least so stupid that theyre entertaining. But then we got totally out of left field... Music From The Heart? What the hell?? Vampire in Brooklyn, Cursed, Red Eye?? Why do so many people think hes so great when all he makes is mediocre bullshit??

Tobe Hooper. The man behind The Texas Chainsaw Massacre. Great horror flick. One of the best ever, but other than that? What has he done? Direct to video, or box office bombs, pices of horror trash. The studio thought he was great and gave him Poltergeist to make but he was fuckin it up so much Spielberg had to step in and say "here let me show you how to do this shit, ah fuck it I will just do it myself." Zelda Rubinstein was quoted as saying "when I was filming my scenes, Steven was the one directing them."

Sean S. Cunningham. He made Friday The 13th, can you name any of his other movies? Without looking it up. Yeah, me either.

Clive Barker. Hellraiser. Other than that, same as the above guys, one great horror movie then a slew of films that try desperately to do the same as that one key film. But fail.

Very very few people that direct horror movies actually make it out of the genre alive, Sam Raimi being a perfect example, and Peter Jackson. Both started off in the horror world and escaped to go on to two of the biggest directors in Hollywood. So how come they did it, but the others cant? Well because they stepped away from the horror world, they did not attempt over and over to recapture the success of the early horror movies that they made that put them on the map.

So why are people like Wes Craven, John Carpenter, George Romaro, Tobe Hooper, and others still talked about and around even though their newer movies suck, dont do much at the box office, and nothing they do are as great as they used to be. Well because they were the firsts. They showed the world today the horror franchise and gave the world todays Movie Monsters. Michael, Freddy, Jason, Chucky. No one has been able to bring around a true horror legend like those guys did. There have been many attempts, like Ghostface, Jigsaw, The Creeper, and more, but none as great as Michael Myers, or Jason Voorhees. And Im not sure if there ever will be. Carpenter, Craven, Hooper, brought us the best horror movie icons there will ever be. And that all us horror movie fans need.

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